48 Things That Mildly Annoy Everyone From Manchester
When you get chips without gravy.
1. When someone says "our kid" and they're talking about their actual child.
2. When something's not mint, but actually a bit of a mither.
3. Pigeons getting on your train at Piccadilly Station when they haven't even paid for a ticket.
4. Not getting gravy on your chips.
5. When tram works ruin your day.
6. When city centre roadworks ruin your day and force you to walk miles out of your way just to get on the right side of the road.
7. The fact that Mancunian Way won't reopen until May because of the massive sinkhole.
8. Going on holiday and getting asked "red or blue?" when you mention you're from Manchester.
9. People assuming you're into Oasis. No, I don't want to hear your acoustic rendition of "Wonderwall", thanks.
10. Or assume you care about the latest ill-advised thing Morrissey has said.
11. And expect you to know football trivia about Manchester teams.
12. The state of Piccadilly Gardens.
13. Walking through Piccadilly Gardens and getting a lungful of weed.
14. Or, if that's your bag, walking through Piccadilly Gardens and not getting a lungful of weed.
15. Trying to get through Curry Mile on the bus and realising you might as well have walked.
16. Trying to find a cash point in the Northern Quarter.
17. When you're in the Northern Quarter and you just want a normal beer, not a craft one that costs £6.
18. Being in the Northern Quarter on a Monday and being unable to decide which 50%-off food deal to go for.
19. People who aren't from Manchester putting it down because of the constant rain.
20. The constant rain.
21. When you're trying to get to Fallowfield and none of the buses that turn up are the good ones that cost £1.
22. When you're on the Magic Bus and the Manchester University rugby team is also on the Magic Bus.
23. Getting stopped on Market Street by someone who definitely isn't selling anything but wants to know who does your gas or electric.
24. Getting lost in the Arndale, despite having lived in Manchester forever.
25. Ditto Afflecks Palace.
26. Walking down Deansgate on a Friday/Saturday night when you're sober.
27. When you end up at 42s at the end of the night.
28. And actually enjoy yourself there.
29. When the Christmas Market takes over Market Street and you have to fight tooth and nail just to get to Tesco.
30. Your mates wanting to go drinking in the sunshine on Platt Fields when the temperature outside is still subzero.
31. Being "mad fer it" when everyone else has work in the morning.
32. When the Stone Roses finally announce their third album and you just know it's not going to be anywhere near as good as the first.
33. Leaving Parklife early to get back to normal life, and ending up squashed in a tram queue for four hours.
34. Hearing "chav" instead of "scally".
35. Non-Manchester people expecting you to be drunk all the time.
36. Non-Manchester people assuming that you and your collective are like the cast of Shameless.
37. When you're in Almost Famous and all you want is a simple cheeseburger.
38. When you look back at old pictures and you had the Lego man/Gallagher brother haircut.
39. When you see someone STILL sporting the Gallagher brother haircut, along with the famous silly walk.
40. Scousers making fun of the Manc accent.
41. When the Manchester Evening News runs a piece on takeaways with a zero-hygiene rating and your favourite drunk eatery is on there.
42. Not seeing the Piccadilly Rats on Market Street.
43. When a Manc character is played by a cockney in an American film or TV show.
44. People mistakenly calling barms "bread rolls" or "baps".
45. When you go out drinking the night before a flight and forget that the bus to the airport takes forever.
46. People who assume London is the only place in the UK that has any culture.
47. When your mate moves to London, starts talking funny, and rejects their proud Manc heritage.
48. Any time the Tories mention the "Northern Powerhouse". Yeah, mate, we know we're a powerhouse, we don't need you to kiss our arses.