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22 Horrifically Hipster Chorlton Problems

Quinoa, anyone?

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1. When your nearest quinoa merchant misleads you in an unforgivable manner.

2. When you just want to hire a bog standard bouncy castle but all you can find are handcrafted yurts.

3. When even the children's books have a hidden agenda.

Reckon we are onto a winner with our new ABC book #Chorlton

4. When someone fills the last bike rack with their hula hoop.

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5. When your summer solstice gets ruined.

6. When literally everyone thinks you're a terrible person because you don't ride a bike.

7. When all you wanted was some hot sauce.

The most #Chorlton hot sauce. CHRIST.

8. When you spill all your dried lentils on the way back from shopping at Unicorn Grocery.

Catastrophe in Chorlton! #lentilspillage #onlyinChorlton

9. When you want to buy your child a plastic playset but you can't avoid trendy superfoods.

What kids plastic fruit & veg playset is complete without fennel & artichoke? Only in #Chorlton. #middleclasskids

10. When "picking up chicks" takes on a whole new meaning.

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11. When you want to get into Manchester after midnight but public transport from Chorlton doesn't run.

It's like trying to get off Lost island.
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It's like trying to get off Lost island.

12. When all you wanted was a beer and it gave you an "Asparagasm".

13. When the street art just straight up terrifies you.

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14. And let's not even get started on the tree art.

The famous tree-climbing baby installation in Chorlton water park after the addition of a second baby.

15. When the pub runs out of your favourite craft beer.

16. When you realise that papoose baby carriers aren't just used for humans.

@JanetHorsfield love this #whippet #papoose #onlyinchorlton

17. When everyone starts wearing odd socks and sandals.

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And you definitely did it first.

18. When even the cash machines only offer seasonal produce.

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19. When green-fingered thieves think nothing of targeting your carefully arranged hanging basket.

20. When the hummus delivery doesn't arrive on time.

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21. When everyone assumes you must be a middle class hipster just because you live in Chorlton.

NBC / Via bookriot.tumblr.com

An unfounded accusation.