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    Apr 4, 2020

    26 Non-Realistic Dildos That’ll Have You ~Coming~ Back For More

    No realistic peen dildos here, but everything else? Gotcha covered.

    We hope you love the products we recommend! All of them were independently selected by our editors. Just so you know, BuzzFeed may collect a share of sales or other compensation from the links on this page if you decide to shop from them. Oh, and FYI — prices are accurate and items in stock as of time of publication.

    1. A glass dildo wand featuring a pretty handle to keep things ~rosy~ while you go for the big O!

    Etsy

    Get it from Arabels Naturals on Etsy for $24.29.

    2. A stellar dildo designed for internal stimulation and external massage, so you can easily make all your intergalactic dreams and fantasies *come* true.

    Unbound Babes

    This dildo is made of body-safe glass, and it is nonporous, hypoallergenic, and dishwasher-safe.

    Promising review: "Stunningly, beautiful, and sensual. Stellar has gotten me with its multiple ways of pleasuring to almost-crying orgasms paired with the Zip Vibe. I loooooooove the shape and the fact that it's glass, makes it feel safe and exciting at the same time. Cleaning is also extremely easy. I can only recommend!" —P.

    Get it from Unbound Babes for $37.

    3. A 7-inch silicone dildo with a curvy shape reviews swear by for an extremely satisfying time.

    Love Honey

    Promising review: "This dildo is amazing! This is the first sex toy I ever bought and it still remains my absolute favorite! I even brought a second one as a spare :D. I have used this solo and with partners and it hits the spot every time! The size is perfect and not too intimidating. One end of the toy is rounded for more of a 'pop' sensation, and the other end is a raised wavy line that feels really good when rubbed against the clit. This toy hits my G-spot every time and provides powerful orgasms!" —Daydreamer88

    Get it from Love Honey for $24.99.

    4. A custom shapely dildo that'll give you a ride unlike any other, and an orgasm you won't soon forget.

    Etsy

    Promising review: "A fantastic high-quality toy! It was packaged very well and arrived quickly and discreetly. I purchased the add-ons of two additional colors and it came out absolutely stunning! The firmness is wonderful and the shape provides a truly unique experience. I highly recommend." —Finder

    Get it from Shapely Toys on Etsy for $24+ (available in over 40 colors, and with customizable firmess and color-combo options).

    5. An 8-inch wooden dildo that is smooth, polished, and made of four types of wood, so you can take this uniquely-shaped bby on an extra hard ride and give a whole new meaning to the phrase "morning wood."

    Etsy

    Get it from That Morning Wood on Etsy for $80.39.

    6. An insertable Kegel ball vibrator with a remote control to give you power over the 10 different frequencies and three vibration intensities. This vibe will take you straight to pleasure town and strengthen your muscles for more powerful orgasms at the same damn time!

    Emojibator

    This vibe is waterproof, made of soft body-grade silicone, rechargeable, and it can be used externally or internally.

    Get it from Emojibator for $49.

    7. A 5-inch dildo with a suction cup base and strap-on compatibility so you can stick this toy in the shower for a solo sesh and use it on your partner later, if that's the kinda day you aspire to have.

    Love Honey

    Promising review: "This dildo is brilliant! I found this to be very enjoyable. When I had first looked at it when it arrived it didn't look intimidating like the bigger-sized dildos. I've always wanted to experiment with anal sex. The suction cup was good when using in the shower, with the suction cup it allows me to use this toy with and without my fiancée. Overall this dildo was amazing and definitely is worth the treat, I'm looking forward to going up in size and purchasing a strap-on harness in the future. :)" —Liam&tayla.99

    Get it from Love Honey for $19.99.

    8. And an adjustable double delight dildo that'll vibrate and take you both to a level of triple-stimulation you may have not known existed before this toy.

    Love Honey

    Promising review: "Such a good toy to have! It creates pleasure for both partners, discreet and easy to use. Packaging and delivery were amazing as always. My partner also really loves the toy! The adjustable smaller piece makes it easy to use in any position. My partner loves the color also. The material used is soft and does not irritate or cause friction." —Dw2811

    Get it from Love Honey for $49.99.

    9. A glass sword dildo for anyone who takes the quest to end the orgasm gap seriously, and personally.

    Etsy

    Get it from Glass vibrations on Etsy for $43.69.

    10. An eggplant vibe inspired by the naughtiest emoji there is. This toy is perfect for anyone who doesn't want too much length (4.8 inches) but still wants to hit all the right spots!

    Emojibator

    Get it from Emojibator for $29.

    11. An ombre tongue tentacle dildo you can ride till the sun comes up, and give a whole new meaning to being eaten out.

    Etsy

    Get it from Northern Fantasy Toys on Etsy for $43.14.

    12. And a customizable suction cup tentacle to give you layers of texture when you play with this baby in the shower.

    Etsy

    Promising review: "I love this suction cup tentacle! It arrived in timely manner, within two weeks of ordering it, and the customer service is impeccable. The material of this toy is of great quality and the squish of it is awesome. I knew from the previous reviews that it wouldn't stand straight on its own, so I was not expecting it to do so. Oh, and the colors!! I had asked if it was possible to have it translucent base with black and gold shots (like ink in water) and it turned out to look exactly as I imagined. It also feels really good in the holes; the different textures on the dildo work their magic and it is very well paired with a vibrating cock ring. It also fits in a strap-on harness." —Marika Rodrigue-Bergeron

    Get it from Northern Fantasy Toys on Etsy for $43.14 (available in over 40+ color combinations).

    13. A gorgeous geode dildo that's realistic in the best way possible — it looks just like a real geode! And it doubles as a masturbation sleeve for anyone on T.

    Babeland

    Promising review: "At first when I saw this dildo I was confused about how it could be used. Quickly though, I realized this would be an awesome masturbation sleeve if you're on T. The crystal cutout is perfect for enlarged bottom growth and feels good rubbed and ground against the body. The length is a little long, which is good if you intend to use it as a dildo." —Flint

    Get it from Babeland for $84.

    14. A custom rhombus dildo for anyone who wants to choose the colors, firmness, and pattern of their new favorite toy.

    Etsy

    Promising review: "Absolutely wonderful shape, I was a little worried if I'd be able to handle all of it based on previous experiences, but it fit like a dream (probably thanks to the extra softness of the silicone, the added squish helps!). It's a very beautiful toy so it's full stars for me " —MR

    Get it from Shapely Toys on Etsy for $28+ (available in over 40 colors, and with customizable firmess and color-combo options).

    15. A stainless-steel fun wand offering smooth penetration and g/p spot stimulation, so you can go *extra hard* without a single peen in sight.

    Babeland

    Promising review: "The Fun Wand is great! It has very little friction against the body which makes for smooth penetration. The end with the single head is great for g/p spot because of the aggressive curve, while the beaded end is wonderful for edging. I would definitely recommend this product, especially for people who are new to the world of hard material toys (although, it really could be great for anyone). Super fun for temperature play, as well!" —Julian

    Get it from Babeland for $95.

    16. An ogre dildo with customizable firmness you can get in sizes medium through, well, quite large. Whether you're new to the world of fantasy toys or experienced, this toy will be an adventure!

    Etsy

    Promising review: "The large was perfect for the recipient. It's big, heavy, and bumpy, so it's more for...experienced adventurers, but he loved his early X-mas present." —Neptune Crinklr

    Get it from YiffMonkey on Etsy for $124+ (availalble in four sizes).

    17. And an ogre sleeve ideal for anyone who wants to try fantasy toys with a partner!

    Etsy

    Promising review: "Love it! Stays on securely, great fun! Easy purchase, good communication." —Bruce

    Get it from YiffMonkey on Etsy for $48+ (available in two sizes).

    18. A glass tentacle dildo with raised ribs on one side and raised spots along the entire length of the back for extra pleasure in all the rights spots. Time to toss your boring sex toys aside and give this babe a whirl 🐙.

    Etsy

    Get it from Arabels Naturals on Etsy for $32.39.

    19. A weighted curved dildo featuring silky smooth silicone over weighty metal because we all deserve the best of both worlds. According to reviewers, if you like your toys hefty, you won't be able to put this babe down.

    Love Honey

    Promising review: "This Desire-branded dildo is a hefty piece of kit! It’s covered in very smooth silicone in the usual lovely Desire purple. The shape is perfectly designed to fit into the hand, and well-balanced to automatically cause the internal part to pull forwards against the G-spot. The internal end of the dildo has a flat surface, which seems to increase the amount of pressure on the G-spot better than the metal or glass ball-ended dildos we’ve tried. My partner has tried loads of different G-spot dildos but has never managed to squirt from them. Until now! I applied a little lube and slipped the dildo in. We also brought a clitoral suction toy into play. After a few thrusting type moves, my partner suggested twisting it side-to-side, which we’ve not tried before. This apparently felt really good, and a short while later it became very obvious that something was happening — I could barely hold onto the dildo it was so slippery! At that point I switched back to the more traditional thrust-type movement, rubbing the G-spot in an up-and-down way, and suddenly my partner started squirting! It was truly one of the sexiest, intimate and downright awesome things I’ve ever seen in the bedroom! If you’ve not been able to squirt before, do try side-to-side rubbing of the G-spot, rather than up-down, as we think this helped warm up the G-spot before the up-down which caused the squirting. If you want to experience squirting, I can whole-heartedly recommend this dildo!" —PermanentlyAroused

    Get it from Love Honey for $49.99.

    20. A unique mermaid dildo that can be made flexible or firm — so you can customize this incredible toy for internal or external pleasure, or land somewhere right in the middle. Everyone will want to know where you found this mystical gem.

    Etsy

    This dildo is made with body-safe silicone and is 5 inches long.

    Promising review: "The silicone is top-notch, the colors are vibrant, and the details are sharp. I honestly enjoy just looking at her. That being said I personally recommend custom-ordering it in a firmer silicone if you're set on using this toy penetratively. As it is I find it a bit too soft/flexible to use effectively that way but your mileage may vary. She does make a very nice grinding toy for those with lady bits, though!" —trekyourself

    Get it from FckBuddies on Etsy for $45+ (available in two patterns and mutilple colors, choose from sparkly or not sparkly).

    21. An investment-worthy vibrating g-spot dildo with a powerful motor and squishy bulb that just might make you cum like you've never cum before!

    @dameproducts / Via instagram.com

    This toy is magnetic USB rechargeable, good for internal and external play, waterproof, made of medical-grade silicone, and it has five patterns and five Intensities.

    Promising review: "I really enjoyed the shape, ease of insertion, and how well it stimulated my g-spot. When angled just right, I was also able to stimulate my clitoris with it. This allowed me to ejaculate — unlike any other toy I have tried." —Casey T.

    Get it from Dame for $115 (available in two colors).

    22. A 6.5-inch squish squash dildo that's as smooth as can be and girthy — basically if this toy were on Tinder, you'd swipe right.

    Etsy

    Promising review: "I love this toy! I just tried it out, and it's incredibly well made. Unlike toys in the past from other shops on Etsy it's very smooth and seems like a lot of care went into making sure the toy was good quality. I also REALLY love the gifts that came along with this. I got a small pink Buddha and some silicone circles I'm using as a drain stopper for my tub currently." —Crellths comics

    Get it from Northern Fantasy Toys for $46.06 (available in over 40+ color combinations).

    23. An adorable radish-themed glass wand to ensure you are getting your daily dose of veggies in the best way possbile, or fruit if you prefer bananas!

    Etsy

    Get it from New Format Things on Etsy for $25.90 (available in four varieties).

    24. A vibrating G/P-spot dildo featuring girth you'll want to ride over and over again. It tapers into a wider shape at the bottom for a toe-curling time!

    Spectrum Boutique

    Get it from Spectrum Boutique for $61.

    25. A customizable wave dildo you'll use to rock your world and bring on the waves of pleasure.

    Etsy

    Get it from Shapely Toys on Etsy for $23+ (available in over 40 colors, and with customizable firmess and color-combo options).

    26. A sleek 7-inch dildo with a gentle curve that'll have you biting your lip and *coming* back for more! This toy has an extra-thick base for strap-on possibilities 👀.

    Babeland

    Get it from Babeland for $46.

    27. And a non-porous, glossy wooden dildo out to prove we all deserve a good ~finish~.

    Etsy

    Promising review: "Beautifully made. Great shape, design and finish. Arrived quickly from Belarus to UK. Very pleased, thank you!! :-) Would highly recommend based on my shopping experience." —Escape Arts

    Get it from Wooden Eco Goods on Etsy for $70 (available in eight colors).

    Willing all these toys into your bedroom like:

    CBS

    Reviews have been edited for length and/or clarity.

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    Allison Krausman / BuzzFeed