1. Since you were a little kid, your upcoming birthday has been like:
2. You get presents:
3. And cake:
4. ...You overdose on sugar:
5. Things get kinda awkward at 13:

6. But then you turn 16 and it's like:
7. And then 21:
8. Turning 25, you start to feel a little old:
9. Then one day you wake up. And it's upon you. You're turning 30...
10. The first person to call and remind you? Of course...
11. She lays it on thick with the mom compliments.
12. Your facial reaction:
13. Your inner reaction:
14. You thank her for calling. Then hang up and think, "Thanks for the reminder, b*tch."
15. To add insult to injury, you have to go to work on your big day. Good thing you've got a plan:
16. When you walk into the office everyone's like, "HAPPY 30TH!!!!!!"
17. You want to say:
18. Or better yet:
19. But you manage to play it cool:
20. Until they throw you an office party:
21. In your head you're thinking:

22. Sadly, you end up being right.
