22 Of The Worst First Dates Of All Time — Seriously, These Deserve Some Kind Of Award

    "At one point he asked, 'Is this the worst date you’ve ever been on?' Yes, yes it was. And I’ve s**t my pants on dates."

    Dating is hard, especially if you don't know the person well (or at all) before the date. People can be very, very weird, and we all know how awful it feels to be stuck on an awful date listening to the person you’re with drone on about something boring, odd, or offensive.

    On New Girl, Jess's date says "The main thing that got me through my time in prison was the realization that a raisin can be anything"

    Well, recently, we asked the members of the BuzzFeed Community to share their worst first-date horror story. Here are some of their hilarious (and horrifying) responses!

    1. "We went for coffee, and afterward he drove me to his grandparents' house, where they were sleeping. He woke them up to introduce me to them."


    2. "We went to a scenic outlook over the city. He came up behind me, put his hands over my belly, and said — shit thee not — 'I can’t wait till this is swollen with my seed.' WE WERE BARELY OUT OF HIGH SCHOOL. I literally ran away in heels, at night, until I found a pay phone."


    3. "I’m going to start by saying I have a very unique laugh. Just before the end of a semester, I started talking to a guy. He REALLY wanted to see the first Avengers movie again. It was so good, he just needed to go again. So I said, 'Okay, I’ll go.' We got into the theater, we sat down, and then he looked at me and said, 'Since I know when all the funny parts are coming, I’ll give you a heads-up so you can hold it in.'"

    "I was completely flabbergasted. I didn’t know what to do."


    On Friends, Chandler laughs with Monica, then stands and makes a disgusted face

    4. "He drove us to a movie theater. To see a porno. In 3D. We seriously sat there wearing those stupid red-and-blue cardboard 3D glasses, watching 'stuff' shoot at the screen. There wasn't a second date."


    5. "We organized to meet at a pub. As I walked in, he texted to say he was in the loo and told me what beer he wanted. He exited the toilet, sat down without saying hi, took a massive swig of his beer (no thanks), and launched straight into a story. In the toilet on top of the bog roll dispenser, there was a mysterious white powder, so he thought it was a good idea to swipe some up and rub it all over his gob. Told this story while laughing uproariously. No questions asked about me."

    "He then told me he invited his brother and mates to join us. Honestly, they were fab company and I wished one of them was my date. When they left, he proposed moving to another venue. At that point, he had asked me a grand total of two questions about myself (after three or so hours). I made up the excuse that I needed to do some late-night grocery shopping to take advantage of low, pre-closing prices (sorta true). I gave no hug and definitely no kiss goodbye, just a little head nod. He texted persistently for a few days to organize another date before my blunt ass had enough and delivered the home truths. 'Well, you don't have to be such a B about it.'"


    6. "He told me we were going to a party with his friends. Turns out it was an intimate proposal for his friend in the woods. There were six of us and I had never met any of them. Fast-forward — the proposal happens, she says yes. We are all congratulating them, and then he FAKE proposes to me in front of everyone as a joke. I was mortified."

    Noelle Bates

    7. "This was an OkStupid match from way back when. He didn't drive, so I went to pick him up. He offered to make some food, but the last thing I expected, since he said he was a chef, was ramen noodles. He claimed to be really interested in 'fashion,' but what he showed me was paper bag underwear (each with its own moniker) and a 'belt buckle' made of ice-pop sticks. We went to a special event at the museum, where he told everyone in line that I was his future ex-girlfriend and that I was going to kick his ass. He asked a stilt walker, who was very clearly dressed as a flamingo, if she was a squirrel."

    "He seemed very surprised that I didn't want to go back to his apartment afterward and make out."


    On Keeping Up With the Kardashians, Kris pages Kylie down, saying she has a surprise. In her arms, she holds a baby pig. Kylie comes to the stairs and says "Is that a chicken?"

    8. "Didn’t know the guy's actual name because his friend did the intro and he was in my phone as 'Fire Island guy.' It was too late to ask. He ordered spicy Japanese food he couldn’t handle, drank my water, drank his water, and asked for milk in between telling me he practiced writing rap music in his parents' basement. The spicy food gave him diarrhea. He was gone from the table for 15 minutes. He went to kiss me at the end of the night, after he had gone back into the restaurant for the bathroom again. I turned my head and he kissed the inside of my ear. It was awful."


    9. "I went out with this guy I met on Tinder, and he was working on a political campaign during the day. When we met outside the restaurant, he said he had a work call he had to make, so — no big deal — we sat on a bench. Turns out it was a conference call, and he put it on speaker so I could hear it too."

    "Eventually we went inside, and there was a wait for a table. He was annoyed, but I said, 'Who cares, you’re still on the phone so what’s the big deal if we wait?' We sat down at our table eventually, and his call finally ended. He ordered for me. Then his boss called him, and he spent another 30 minutes on the phone getting yelled at. I didn’t eat anything because he ordered appetizers I didn’t like. At one point he asked, 'Is this the worst date you’ve ever been on?' Yes, yes it was. And I’ve shit my pants on dates (I have IBD)."


    10. "Met on a dating app and decided to go to dinner. Got to the restaurant and I ordered a meal, since, ya know, we were meeting for dinner. The server asked what he wanted, and he said he wasn’t hungry and didn’t order anything. I proceeded to eat by myself while we discussed normal first-date stuff like music and movies. I casually mentioned I’d never seen Star Wars and had no intention of ever seeing it. Cue 30 minutes of him actively yelling at me and insisting he will make me watch it on our next date. I found the server and paid the bill as fast as I could and noped right out of there."


    11. "We met on Hinge. Had great conversations via text, so we met up at a brewery. It was awful. He had very problematic opinions about LGBTQ people, specifically people who are trans using a gendered bathroom and children coming out as trans. I should have left, but I was way too nice. Then, when we were saying goodbye, he grabbed me by the hair and asked me if I liked a strong-willed man. I didn’t know what to do, so I just kind of sputtered out, 'Uhhh, I don’t know…' and then ran to my car and watched in my rearview mirror to make sure he didn’t follow me home."


    12. "We met at a diner that I went to almost daily. He sat down and refused to order anything. The woman waiting on us said he had to order or leave, and he just stared at her. I ordered him some fries. He then proceeded to talk about how he’s passionate about levers. Yes, levers. He builds them for fun. They’re not attached to anything or do anything except go up and down. Levers of all different sizes and colors. The man talked about levers for hours. Afterward, when I got home, he texted me about wanting to suck my toes after I used my feet on his levers."


    13. "I went on a first date with a guy from a dating app. After like 20 minutes of talking, I knew it wouldn't go anywhere. I just wasn't interested in him and told him as much. After I told him that I wasn't interested, he proceeded to try to kiss me. I pushed him away and reiterated that I wasn't interested. As I turned to walk away, he grabbed me and TRIED TO KISS ME AGAIN! A year later I got a WhatsApp message from a number I didn't recognize at like midnight on a Friday. It was him!"

    "I asked why my number was even still in his phone. He told me I was acting like a bitch and he just wanted to see how I'd been. I sent a long message detailing every single way in which what he did was entitled and creepy. Then I told him to fuck off and blocked his number."


    On New Girl, Jess's date tries to kiss her; she pushes him off and says "No! Stand down, sir!"

    14. "He asked to take me to the movies. I said yes, not thinking about what we might go see. Turns out he was a huge horror fan and took me to see some scary film I don’t even remember the name of. I’m not not a scary movie fan, but this was the grossest, most revolting film I had ever seen. Also, turns out it had been out for a while, so we were in the theater ALONE. Just me and some guy watching a movie that would make the devil puke. At one point I sat on the floor because I couldn’t take looking at the screen anymore. At the end of the night, he called me a baby for not being able to handle 'true cinematic art.' Yup."


    15. "I met a guy at the bar I was working at during college. He asked me out, and I said yes. On the night of our date, I ended up picking him up. He got to the car with some other guy and they both got in. 'I hope it’s okay that I brought my cousin.' Uhhhh?"

    "We ended up at a bar playing pool. Then he suggested we hit a strip club. I was 22 and had never been to a strip club, but I was curious, so I said yes. Once we were inside (he made me pay my own cover charge), we found seats near the stage. He said he wanted to buy me a lap dance, which I agreed to. He called a dancer over and told her what we wanted, and she said it would be $20. He looked at me. I looked at him. I realized he wasn’t reaching for his wallet, but I figured, I’m in it now, might as well follow through. So I gave her $20 and had the most awkward three minutes of my life. Later, I put some dollars out for the woman who was dancing. He leaned over to me and said, 'Is it OK that I want to f—k you?' I said, 'It’s OK, but it’s not happening.'

    "A few minutes later, he glanced down at his naked wrist as if looking at a watch and mentioned he had to get home so he could wake up early. I had driven us there. So I ended up driving this man and his now-very-drunk cousin back to their house."


    16. "There was the guy who took me back to 'his place,' and he was sleeping on a futon in his friend's kitchen. There was the guy who didn’t speak for an entire hour — just watched a basketball game playing on a TV nearby. There was the guy who took me to a hot dog place, claimed he didn’t own a TV, and was a teacher who hated kids. He left after an hour to go 'take a nap' and literally ran out the door. There was the guy who told me mid-date he was married, and another guy mid-date who also told me he was married and they lived with his parents — also, he didn’t have a job."

    "There was the SoundCloud rapper who handed me a rock from his pocket, and when he held out his hand for it back, I thought he wanted to hold my hand, so I held his, and then he goes, 'Oh no, I wanted the rock back, but this is fine, I guess.' That one still makes me cringe lol."

    funk lord of the usa

    Tony reaches over Peter for the door in Spider-Man: Homecoming and Peter thinks he's hugging him

    17. "I was set up on a blind date with a guy who, it turned out, I vaguely knew in elementary school. It also turned out I'd been in band in high school with his ex-fiancé, who somehow heard about our impending date and messaged me on Facebook about his mother's boyfriend being racist (I'm biracial, the ex is Black, and he's white). First we met up at our mutual friend's place. Then he took me to a cookout at a park that was hosted by his MLM friends, where they talked up their pyramid scheme."

    "Then we went to see a movie at a dollar theater that showed movies at the end of their theatrical runs. I didn't mind that. What I did mind was that a few other friends of his joined us. At the end of the night, when he dropped me off, he asked, 'Don't I even get a hug?' then didn't even bother to unbuckle his seatbelt when I moved in to give him a hug. He did not walk me to my door, and I did not answer when he called to see if I wanted to go out again."


    18. "We went to the movies. He confessed before the date that he wasn’t a touchy person. Then he caressed my face the whole movie and called me a 'good girl.'”

    Sam Pat

    19. "He ranted about his ex for over half an hour, then played me Kanye West."


    On New Girl, Nick rocks out to music in his car; we then see Jess next to him — she asks "Why did you need me for this?"

    20. "My date had me pick him up at his friend's apartment, where he was playing basketball, and I had to sit and watch until he was done. I then had to wait in his friend's apartment — I didn't know his friend — while he got ready in the bathroom. Once at the movies, he told me he didn't have enough, so he decided to buy one ticket and sneak me in."

    "We ended the date with me dropping him off at a party and never going on another date."


    21. "Went out for coffee with a guy once, and he showed up 15 minutes late. One of the very first things he asked was if I lived in the neighborhood; then he made a joke about how I shouldn’t tell him because he might be a serial killer. He then proceeded to make a few jokes about his own physical appearance (obviously fishing) and talked about how he and his brother didn't get along. At one point he got a notification on his phone and made a point to say it was another person from the dating app we met on. And if all that wasn't bad enough, he spent 20 minutes vividly describing how he and his dad slaughtered a pig on a family farm when he was younger!"

    "I quickly made an excuse about having to work early after that story. I'm just bummed I didn’t do it sooner. He was obviously a red flag from the start!"


    22. And finally: "He introduced me to his ex. Who still lived with him."


    What's the worst date you've been on? Let us know in the comments below!

    Note: Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.