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31 Things You Should Never, Ever Say To A Bisexual Person

"'Okay, but all women are a little bi.'" Um????

If you're bisexual, you've probably encountered your fair share of offensive, uneducated, and just plain stupid comments — from both straight people and the larger LGBTQ community.


Recently, when we asked LGBTQ members of the BuzzFeed Community to tell us the ridiculous and offensive things people have said to them, we got a ton of comments about the specific crap bisexual people have to deal with.


Here are some of the most annoying and offensive things you should never say to a bi person!

1. “'There’s no such thing as bisexual. That just means you’re easy.'"

2. "'Now that you’re bi, you’re not gonna hit on me or anything, are you? I mean, do you think I’m hot?'"


3. “'She can’t be dating a girl. She likes dick.'”


"Was told to my best friend about me when I started dating my now-wife. First of all, clearly no one has ever talked to you about bisexuality or pansexuality. Second of all, f*ck off."


4. "'You’ll pick a side eventually.'"

5. "'Okay, but all women are a little bi.'"


"Uh no sis, maybe you wanna reflect on that a little bit? And furthermore, if there are a lot of bi women, that doesn't make our identity less valid."


6. “'Oh, good thing you’re in a het relationship! You don’t have to come out or tell ANYONE!' —my lesbian friend."



7. "This classic one when I date straight men... 'So? You're bi? You're up for a threesome?'"

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8. "When I told my sister I was bi, I was 12, and she straight-up told me, 'You’re too young to date, so it doesn’t matter.'"


"I’m still kind of mad because A) it was none of her business when I date, B) it does matter, and C) I was scared and nervous and she did the exact thing I was worried about. Wish I would have told someone else first."


9. “'Oh, you’re bi? That means you like girls too, right?' *weird moan sound* 'That’s soooo hot.'"


"I had just come out to someone I trusted and felt comfortable around. Obviously, I don’t speak to him anymore. Please note, I am 15."


10. "'Bisexuality isn't real. You only make out with women to turn men on.'"


"Nah, shocker, *I* actually enjoy making out with attractive women (and men)."


11. "From a religious friend: 'Well, if you were with a woman, I'd say that wasn't God's plan for you, but you're married to a man, so...'"




12. "'You're not bi. You're married to a man.'"


"Yes, I'm bi, and yes I'm married to a man. Gay or straight, do not say this to anyone bi."


13. "'You haven't dated a girl in a while. You can't say you're bi anymore.'"


"I'm not the kind of person who talks about their crushes or hookups. My friends tend to erase my sexuality because it's easier for them to think it was just a phase."


14. "I was complaining to a couple of straight female coworkers about the lack of queer women at my job, which had a large queer male population. One of those coworkers asked if I was gay, and I responded that I was bi. She paused, thought about it, and responded, 'Well, I guess that counts.'”


15. "I had quite a few women tell me they’d never date me because I’m also attracted to men."


"One woman actually told me it’d be 'dirty' for her to have sex with a bi woman. What she really meant is that I’m dirty. That was 20 years ago, and it still bugs me."


16. "I haven't come out to my parents as bi, but my mom is very homophobic and I remember at one point we were talking and she said bisexual people disgust her more than gay people."


"I was shocked and asked why, and she was like, 'Oh, well at least they're only doing it with each other, bisexuals have sex with everyone and spread disease more.' So...yeah, I'm not coming out to her."


17. "I'm a bi woman. ... I know some lesbians who will hate on straight people for being narrow-minded and in the next breath talk about how they could never be with a woman who was also attracted to men."


"When a mutual friend (also bi) called them out for excluding her once she married her husband, their response was like, 'Well yeah, sorry but you chose the straight life. You don't have a place in the community anymore.'"


18. "I’m bi, and a guy from my high school once told me that I never needed to worry about being discriminated against because I could just ‘pick my straight half’ if I wanted to."


19. “'You have to have a threesome with your boyfriend, then you can decide if you like girls.' —my gay friend."



20. "Every man I’ve ever been with say I’m just gonna leave them for a women someday, or that they would be okay with me cheating with a woman as long as they could watch."



21. "Me: 'I'm bisexual.' Ignoramus: 'Nah, you're just greedy.'"


"I also had a long-term boyfriend who said, 'We'll have to have a threesome so you can get with a girl' when I told him I was bi. And another boyfriend cried when I told him because he thought I was going to be obsessed with hooking up with lots of people."


22. "After I came out as bi I was asked if I was more likely to cheat on my husband because (in their mind) I'd never be fully satisfied."


23. "I came out to my extended family, who are Christian fundamentalists, a couple years ago. Just this week my grandma brought over scripture (1 John 1) and asked me to be a non-practicing homosexual...when she knew I'd be home alone."

24. "I came out as bi over a year ago. My partner of 12 years came out as pan and genderqueer a few months ago. Their parents — who have known and cared for me for over a decade while we looked like a cishet couple — said recently that it's my 'fault' and I 'coerced' them into being queer."


"Apparently I have magical powers. Who knew?"


25. “'How do you know you’re bisexual if you haven’t had sex with a guy?'"


"I’m a guy who has been in sexual and romantic relationships with women, but apparently because I haven’t 'done it' with a guy, I’ll never truly know."


"Such a common comment, yet you never hear anyone say, 'How do you know you're straight? You're a virgin.'"


26. "I got told that, 'So you're not actually bi, you're just bi-curious' because I hadn't slept with a woman."


27. "The worst stuff that I ever heard when I came out as bi was from older gay men who tried to pressure me into saying that I was gay, and [that] there is no such thing as bisexuality. It really messed with my mental health."

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28. "I have gotten told that I'm too young to know I'm bisexual and that I will know my 'true self' when I am older."


29. "Dating a straight guy and telling them I'm bisexual: (...) 'So can I watch when you have sex with a woman?'"

30. "I am a bisexual girl, and the number of straight guys who have told me that I just need some dick when I have a girlfriend is way too many."


"...Or they will ask me if they can have a threesome with me and my girlfriend because 'both girls need some dick.' Like no, I'm happy with my girlfriend. She's a lot better than you with your third leg."


31. "I told one of my (straight) friends that I was bi, and she immediately asked, 'What girl do you have a crush on?'"


"I, being young, immediately lied and said that I had a crush on another girl in our class, when, in reality, I didn't have a crush on anyone at that point. I thought that I HAD to like another girl in order to be ACTUALLY bi. People don't ask that if you tell them you're straight."


I'll just leave you with this:

"PSA: Bi people are ✨not ✨ 'confused' and it’s ✨ not✨ a 'phase.'"


Submissions have been edited for length/clarity.

Looking for more ways to get involved? Check out all of BuzzFeed's posts celebrating Pride 2021.

Kevin Valente / BuzzFeed