I Used To Be A Massive "Twilight" Fan, But These 21 Things Still Bother Me Today

I just want to talk, Stephanie.

Like many of us, I was absolutely obsessed with Twilight in middle school.

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In case you were wondering, I was #TeamEdward. 

Now, I'll be honest. It's been a while since I've seen/read it. But...there are just some things that have always confused me, and it's time I talk about them.

1. Why can't Edward hear Bella's thoughts?

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OKAY, LISTEN. I know Bella has the whole "shield" thing when she's a vampire. But how come she has it as a human? And why isn't Edward more concerned about this — like why doesn't he think she must be supernatural in some way?

2. What would happen if vampires ate something?

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Is this ever explained? How can they be good cooks and if they can't even taste food? Would they just like, immediately projectile vomit? Do they pee and poop??

3. Why on earth did Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper, Alice, and Edward decide to go to HIGH SCHOOL, of all places?

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Sure, they were 17, but they could've just pretended they were 18 and been high school graduates. In a world where you can do anything and go anywhere, why would you willingly choose high school??

4. What's up with the whole glitter thing? Like...why?

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Okay, I know this isn't a super valid question, but still, it lingers in my mind. It's just such an...odd choice. Stephanie Meyer, we need answers.

5. Why are the Cullens obsessed with baseball, of all things?

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And why do they have to be so damn dramatic about it? Like, they didn't need to dress like that. Edward has a full on major league baseball shirt. Also, 6 people is nowhere near enough people for a baseball team.

6. Why was it okay that Edward watched Bella sleep?

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I loved Edward back in the day, but looking back, it's SUPER creepy to make teenagers think breaking into someone's house and watching them sleep is romantic.

7. I guess not so much a question, but...you're telling me this teenage dude didn't have sex for hundreds of years? Not once? Why?

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It's one thing if Edward just had no interest in sex, but he clearly does when he's with Bella. And he's a 17-year-old who was turned!

8. Like, why didn't his parents help find a nice lovely sibling-partner for him?

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Poor dude was 7th-wheeling it for centuries.

9. Alice has known Edward for centuries, and knows how he feels about Bella. So when she sees a vision of Bella killing herself, why does she tell Edward about it???

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Like, she knows how he's gonna react!

10. Also, why didn't he even call Bella or Charlie to check if she survived?

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Just feels logical to me.

11. I realize Edward tries to expose himself as a vampire so the Volturi would have to kill him. But...was that really the best way to expose himself?

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I feel like there'd be better ways to prove he was a vampire? If I saw some dude sparkling in the sun and hadn't seen Twilight, I really don't think my first thought would be "vampire." Also, he really didn't need to go all the way to Italy, putting his family in danger by involving the Volturi, if he wanted to die.

12. Why are these men always rushing off to get themselves killed because they've lost Bella??

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It's a major plot for Edward in Book 2 and Jacob in Book 3. And both times, Bella has to save them, which even means kissing Jacob even though she's engaged to Edward. Kind of a damaging message, no?

13. I get Edward not wanting to hurt Bella with his super strength during sex, but couldn't they have like...done other stuff?

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Bella has needs, too, Edward.

14. How did Bella get pregnant if Edward has no blood?

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How old were those sperm sitting around in Edward's body?? And not to be crude, but if Edward has no blood, how can he...you know...

15. Also, what fills Edward's body if not blood?

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Burning desire for Bella???

16. Why was Charlie just cool with Bella getting married right out of high school?

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Charlie is like the most chill dad ever.

17. How did Bella and Edward explain her having a baby so fast to Bella's human friends?

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They were at the wedding, right? What happens when they run into Bella with a fully grown child a few months later?

18. Why did Renesmee look like this??

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I get that she was aging fast, but even Benjamin Button looked better than this.

19. Will Renesmee be able to have kids of her own?

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I still don't get the whole hybrid thing.

20. Can the people werewolves imprint on, like...say no?

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I mean, they don't have this weird imprinting thing that makes them automatically fall in love with someone, right? If they can say no/may not feel the same way, it seems like a pretty messed up grooming situation when werewolves imprint on kids, and a recipe for stalking and worse when they imprint on adults. 

21. And finally...couldn't they have come up with a better name than Renesmee?

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I'm sorry, if that was my given name, I'd be pissed.