As/Is·Posted on Feb 22, 2020Jeans Suck, And It’s Time We All Admit ItPlease, see the light.by Hannah MarderBuzzFeed StaffLinkFacebookPinterestTwitterMail Hey guys! Quick question! Flashpop / Getty Images Thanks for answering that!! Now, I need you to listen very carefully: if you checked yes, you are either A BIG FAT LIAR or in some SERIOUS denial, because jeans are terrible. This is just a fact. Peter Cade / Getty Images How dare they subject their children to such torture? First of all, denim is the most uncomfortable fabric on the planet. Darren Robb / Getty Images This baby is crying because he is wearing what feels like wet cardboard. Second of all, jeans are simply not made for human beings. Got thick thighs? Large calves? A small waist? JEANS WILL NOT FIT YOU. This makes shopping for jeans an absolute nightmare. Peter Dazeley / Getty Images If you can even figure out what size you are, since they're not standardized. Even after you find a pair that fits, within weeks they'll look like this, because jeans are trash: View this photo on Instagram instagram.com S/o to my thick-thighed ladies. We deserve better. Sure, I guess they're fine if you're just standing there like a forgotten Sim. But if you want to do literally anything else besides standing, beware. They will push back. Peopleimages / Getty Images Want to bend over? I hope you've got a belt. Riding a bike? NOT TODAY! Sitting down?? You must be in the mood to pop a button! Don't get me started on people who wear jeans to the gym, or even worse, SLEEP in these burlap sacks of torture. Justin Paget / Getty Images This is not what God intended. "But Hannah, what about stretchy/skinny jeans?" you might be asking. "Those are comfy!" Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF ABC I'm not mad at you. I'm just disappointed. Skinny jeans are EVEN WORSE. Jeans are not one-size-fit-all, and denim is not meant to be stretchy. All skinny jeans do is cut off your circulation. Not to mention they're impossible to get on or off. Peopleimages / Getty Images You might as well paper mâché your legs. It'd be easier. But worst of all? JORTS. Or, as I like to call them, denim diapers. Win-initiative / Getty Images I don't know what's going on here, but I'm scared. Actually, I lied. The one thing worse than jorts? Jeans with holes so big they're basically JORTS IN DISGUISE. Srisakorn / Getty Images WHAT IS THE POINT OF THESE?? TL;DR: Jeans are horrible and if you like them you're wrong. Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF NBC That's all. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.