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    The New Velveeta Martini And 34 Other Food Crimes Committed This Week

    I'm sorry, but you couldn't pay me $1,000 to try Kool-Aid pickles.

    Recently, I saw something that shocked me to my very core. It was horrifying. It made me truly question...just how far have we strayed from god's light?

    Romero asking "Do you think God stays in heaven because he, too, lives in fear of what he's created?" in Spy Kids 2

    The thing I saw? The Velveeta Martini. Yes. This is a real thing.

    And I'm afraid...I'm just so afraid. Because I'm a masochist, I decided to look into all the other foods out there that truly make me wonder about how much hope there is for humanity. And since I had to see these abominations, so do you.

    Here are 35 truly terrifying items that deign to call themselves food.

    1. These peanut cheetos:

    2. This cherry ramen:

    3. This cheesy banana moonpie:

    4. This pickle popsicle:

    5. These inside-out hot dogs:

    6. This "tropical twinkie cheesecake":

    7. This mint chocolate gravy:

    8. This Cinnamon Toast Crunch-flavored milk and Pepsi combo:

    9. Kool-Aid pickles:

    10. And deep-fried Kool-Aid:

    11. These bacon-covered Oreos:

    12. This cherries-and-milk combo:

    13. This chocolate hot dog:

    14. And these ravioli hot dogs:

    15. This gummy bear bratwurst:

    16. This salad lasagne (salagne, if you will):

    17. This pasta birthday cake:

    18. This bagel with cheese, onions, and peanut butter:

    19. This tuna and egg sandwich:

    20. This Pop Tart and cucumber sandwich:

    21. This Spam-and-peanuts dinner:

    22. Lemonade-flavored chips(???):

    23. This Kit-Kat sandwich:

    24. This Dorito soup:

    25. This block of cheese with hot sauce:

    26. This Minions curry:

    27. This Nesquik cake:

    28. This noodles and gummy worms combo:

    29. Sour Patch Kid cookies:

    30. This sad, sad pizza:

    31. This banana hot dog:

    32. This sandwich with just mayo and raw onion:

    33. This pineapple and ramen combo:

    34. This spicy ice cream:

    35. And finally, green mac-n-cheese: