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"I'll Assume You're Not Very Nice": Bartenders Are Revealing The Judgements They Assign To Popular Drink Orders

"Ordering this is just alcoholic lingo for 'I'm just here to get f*ed up.'"

A while back, I shared a bunch of stereotypes about people based solely off their drink orders, straight from bartenders on Reddit. Well, people had a lot of thoughts.

Two bartenders looking judgey towards their customers

So I rounded up even more judgements about common drink orders — this time from Reddit and from the BuzzFeed community. You might want to keep these in mind before placing your next drink order.

1. "Tequila on the rocks with lime: You are a wild party person and you love to tell stories about what said tequila made you do."

2. "If you order absinthe, I’m going to assume that you have at least five leather-bound books from the 1800s and maybe like, three friends."

3. "Gin & Tonic with cucumber: You're a housewife and your husband didn't notice your new fancy shoes, which made you upset at first, but then you realized it doesn't matter because you're possibly having an affair with the pool boy."

4. "The guy who orders a Jack and Coke is just waiting for a good fight in a couple of hours."

5. "Moscow Mule: You're just really excited to drink something out of a shiny copper cup."


6. "I assume that people who order martinis are high-functioning alcoholics."

7. "A shot of Fernet basically translates to 'I am a bartender from San Francisco."


8. "Long Island Iced Tea is international alcoholic lingo for 'I'm just here to get f*ed up.'"

9. "If you order a Shirley Temple I assume you're joking... or you're sober."


10. "A glass of Chardonnay: you're probably married to an old rich guy."

11. "If you order a Bud Light, Miller Light, or Budweiser with a shot of whiskey, you probably work in a manual labor-intensive job."


12. "Any frozen blended drinks means you're either high maintenance and/or on vacation and you don't know what else to order."

13. "Mint Julep: You're probably the descendant of an 18th century plantation owner, you're wearing a sear-sucker suit, and probably carrying a cane."


14. "If you order a drink with a funny name off the actual cocktail menu, I'm going to assume you're underage."

15. "Whiskey Sour: You're a young guy, in your early to mid '20s, and you used to drink whiskey and coke. You switched to whisky sours because you thought it was more respectable and/or because your friends started to make fun of you. It's as sweet as you can get away with while still being a 'whisky drink' and not a 'drink for chicks.'"


16. "Negroni: You're probably thinking you taste in cocktails is as complex as your record collection and facial hair."

17. "If you order a Lemon Drop I'm going to go ahead and assume you're high maintenance and not very nice."


18. "Corona with lime: You'd much rather be at an outdoor barbecue than stuck at this pub."

19. "Fireball with soda makes me think you're under 25, you don't yet know your limit, and you very well could end the night throwing up all over the dance floor."


20. "Anything with Malibu: It's probably karaoke night, 'girls night,' or a Bachelorette party."

21. "A double brandy and Coke means you're probably from South Africa...or Wisconsin."


22. "Vodka on the rocks: you've been drinking for long enough tonight to enjoy the nasty burn from watered-down vodka with no mixer."

23. "Appletini or any other cocktail that ends in -tini says you're away from the kids for the weekend."

24. "Cosmopolitan: You just binge-watched every episode of 'Sex and the City' and you're ordering a Cosmo to be like Carrie Bradshaw."

25. "Tequila Sunrise: says 'I just turned 21 three weeks ago and on that note, I’d like to black out tonight."


26. "Vodka soda with a splash of cranberry juice might as well be called 'the white girl.'"

27. "If you order an expensive cocktail I'm just waiting for you to start arguing over the price once I give you the check. Next you'll probably say you can make it at home for half the price."

28. "The person who asks for extra vodka in their drink is also the person who asked why I charged them for extra alcohol once they see the bill."

29. "If you're ordering red wine at a bar you're pretty much telling me that you'd rather be home on your couch right now."

So if you're a bartender reading this, what stereotypes do you associate with common drink orders? Get judgmental in the comments below.