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10 Things You Know If You Attended The University of Alabama

At The University of Alabama, football dictates college life. Here's 10 things that every person who has attended/attends UA knows.

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1. Nick Saban ranks up there with Jesus. / Via

According to, in the state of Alabama, Nick Saban has more likes than God on Facebook. The fact that Saban is more popular than God in the middle of the Bible Belt is pretty impressive. You know you've made it when you are literally more popular than Jesus Christ, himself.

2. The Alabama/Auburn rivalry is so intense.

Getty Images / Via

If you attend Alabama and you are an Auburn fan, you better protect your life. I once saw a girl wear an Auburn shirt to class. She was walking outside of my building and people were literally boo-ing her to go home. I swear to God, the actual Alabama/Auburn game is like The Purge mixed with a little bit of the Civil War.

3. LSU fans are the worst.


I thought I hated Auburn fans, until LSU came to town. They are the most obnoxious, ridiculous, and drunkest fans I've ever seen in my life, including 'Dega. They wear all their Baton Rougey stuff and crazy costumes. It's like 60,000 clowns have come into your town for their convention every other year. LSU fans are known for their corndog-like smell. I'm not sure where that started, but it is really funny and it pisses them off the most. Les Miles is just an easy target as well. I mean what a freaking weirdo. After the game, despite whether or not they win, they go out on The Strip and act like fools. They hang all over the Alabama fans, they make obscene comments. The only fun part about them coming to town is when they tailgate, because who doesn't like cajun food?

4. On gameday, don't plan on going anywhere, except the game or the quad.

(The Birmingham News/Don Kausler) / Via

If you attempt to drive in gameday traffic, you're screwed in the worst way. 100,000 people coming into your small town = complete shit-show. This was really fun when I was younger, but now that I'm in grad school, I'm like the cranky old lady that is telling those damn meddling kids to get off her lawn.

5. Scott Cochran has the patriotic screech of an eagle.


I lived a street away from the practice field. The guys seemed to have two-a-days, from what I could understand by Scott Cochran's screams. This man has an insanely loud shriek that I could hear all the way from my house. I would wake up in the morning to Scott's lovely voice and then around 2 or 3, he was at it again. Scott is most famous for his “YEAH, YEAH, YEAH,” which blazes across the screen at the Bama games. Nothing quite pumps someone up like a Scott Cochran rebel yell.

6. Tailgating on the quad = getting drunk on the quad.

Coti Howell / Via

This is just an experience in itself. Alabama's campus really is beautiful, and everyone enjoys those crisp fall days out on the quad, getting blackout drunk. Food, football, and alcohol – could this be a little slice of heaven? Yes. During my undergrad years, Alabama dominated everyone. Gamedays were a huge celebration on the quad before we even actually played, because the chance of losing, well... it became obsolete.

7. Football players are treated like celebrities.

Associated Press / Via

Having a football player in your class is the biggest deal. People actually are pretty respectful and keep their distance, but it is just because of their shock and admiration. I majored in history, so go figure, no football players in my classes. Let's face it, they don't really go to college to get degrees. If you are good enough, you are just waiting to go pro. Some do go on to graduate, but this isn't really an ideal situation for them, as opposed to most college students who are just hanging on by the seat of their asses. Football players even have their own set of groupies, like any other type of celebrity. Gotta beware of the “Cleat-chasers.”

8. Invest in a wine rack, if you are a girl. (Or guy?)


This could honestly make or break your gameday experience. You've got a good buzz going, but it's time for the game. What do you do? Alcohol is prohibited and they do a pat down on guys and check girls' purses. Problem, right? Wrong. Some genius went and invented the “Wine Rack,” which is a bra that stores your alcohol. Attached to the bra is a long tube that goes all the way to your mouth. Whoever invented this should win the Nobel Peace Prize.

9. Football > than your college education.


The school essentially shuts down if there is anything football related. We normally get another week off during Christmas break so that students can go to the National Championship and not get interrupted by, you know, their college education. In the end, you aren't going to remember what happened in your political science class, but you are going to remember going to the National Championship.

10. If you haven't had a Yellowhammer at Gallettes, on gameday, what are you doing with your life?


Go to Galettes on gameday, especially during the day. The Yellowhammer is their staple drink and if you haven't had one of these by the time you graduate, then really? Did you ever leave your house? They make it frozen and on the rocks. A few of these and you are feeling turnt up. It's just an experience that every student and fan needs to have. Plus you get a free cup. I think it says a lot that I can't open my cabinets without 10,000 yellow cups falling on top of my head.

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