This One-Question Quiz Will Reveal Your New Favourite Cocktail
Now, I know what you're thinking: "Thyme is for dinner, not for drinking!" Well, you're wrong – because drinking dinner things is the classiest thing a classy-ass sonofabitch can do. You'll be the master of thyme, and of class, and everyone will love you for it. Find out how to make one here.
Your new thing is gonna be making this classy as shit, Tennessee Williams-ass peach iced tea whiskey. "Won't you come round to my veranda, it's ever so hot out...I have a nice, cool pitcher of peach iced tea, with a little something special in it," you'll say, wearing a crisp white shirt that looks fresh despite the sweltering heat. Find out how to make it here.
The key to being a classy-ass motherfucker is to keep things simple. But not too simple. Just simple enough. "Hey, can I get a G&T?" your lover will ask. "Sure, babe – I'll fix you my special," you'll reply, slyly, before running to the shops for some cucumber and basil. God, it's going to be great. It's going to be classy as hell. Find out how to make one here.
You, my friend, are going to be the master of grapefruit and tarragon G&Ts. Now, I can hear what you're saying: "What the fuck is tarragon?" Well, my friend, it's classy as hell is what it is. Whip up one of these bad boys, and everyone will be impressed, heartwarmed, and drunk on tarragon. The dream! Find out how to make one here.
Let me let you in on a little secret: gimlets are delicious and classy as fuck. "Darling, bring me another gimlet!" you'll say, stretched across a grand piano in a sequined ballgown and/or white tuxedo. This could be your life, and all you have to do learn how to make a gimlet, make it your thing, and then rent a sequined ball gown and/or white tuxedo and find a grand piano. Find out how to make one here.
You know what's classy as hell? A frozen-ass margarita. One that you made yourself, with your own hands, in your own home. "Why don't you come round? I'm making frozen margaritas to help us cool off in this sweltering heat!" could be a thing that you actually say. It could be your thing. Learn how to make some classy-ass frozen-ass margaritas, and you'll never be lonely again. Get the recipe here.
"What are you in to?" people will ask. "Oh, I only drink Manhattans. It's kind of my thing," you'll reply with a wry smile. "Wow, you're a classy piece of shit, aren't you?" your friends and family will reply in unison. Find out how to make a perfect Manhattan here.
What's more classy than an Old Fashioned? Fucking nothing, that's what. "Here comes my friend [YOUR NAME]," people will say. "He/she makes a classy Old Fashioned," they'll add, knowing you well, and that Old Fashioneds are kind of your thing. Learn how to make one here.
That's right, raspberry and ROSE. This drink is so classy it has a fucking FLOWER IN IT. "Drinking flowers is kind of my thing," you'll say, and everyone will laugh and love you. Find out how to make one here.