back to top

25 Victorian Children Having A Worse Christmas Than You

"Oh Hortense, how I do love Christmas Day, in spite of Mother's wailing."

Posted on

1. This miserable-ass herald of a happy fucking new year.

Nova Scotia Archives / Via commons.wikimedia.org / Creative Commons

2. These dead-eyed children singing carols in the hopes of collecting enough change to afford a warm meal.

Miami U. Libraries / Via commons.wikimedia.org / Creative Commons

3. This girl enjoying how the snow makes her hands numb, which distracts her from her eternal malaise.

Hulton Archive / Getty Images

4. This little boy who's been left in the snowy woods because his family couldn't afford to keep him anymore.

"I'm ever so cold, mother...mother?"
Hulton Archive / Getty Images

"I'm ever so cold, mother...mother?"

5. This miserable boy just hanging out with his headless dolls.

Dave CC BY-ND / Via Flickr: vintagehalloweencollector / Creative Commons

"END MY MISERY, MASTER."

Dave CC BY-ND / Via Flickr: vintagehalloweencollector / Creative Commons

6. This soaking wet loser who will almost definitely come down with tuberculosis after these poshos are done ridiculing him.

RIP this loser.
Nova Scotia Archives / Via commons.wikimedia.org / Creative Commons

RIP this loser.

7. This kid who can't get a moment's rest from his fucking reindeer.

Nova Scotia Archives / Via commons.wikimedia.org / Creative Commons

"Oh, for fuck's sake."

Nova Scotia Archives / Via commons.wikimedia.org / Creative Commons

8. All of these children, each one more miserable than the last.

Nova Scotia Archives / Via commons.wikimedia.org / Creative Commons

"Oh, how we do love Christmas."

commons.wikimedia.org / Creative Commons

"Oh yes, I do love Christmas, just as my mother once did."

Nova Scotia Archives / Via commons.wikimedia.org / Creative Commons

"Before she died of consumption on Christmas Day."

Nova Scotia Archives / Via commons.wikimedia.org / Creative Commons

9. This little girl whose only friend is a fucking red squirrel.

Hulton Archive / Getty Images

10. And this lonesome boy whose penny whistle can't drown out the wailing of his widowed mother.

Miami U. Libraries / Via commons.wikimedia.org / Creative Commons

11. This little girl being forced to do some Victorian-ass vacuuming on Christmas Day.

Miami U. Libraries - Digital Collections / Via commons.wikimedia.org / Creative Commons

"Fuck the patriarchy."

Miami U. Libraries / Via commons.wikimedia.org / Creative Commons

12. These children sent out into the cold by the master of their workhouse.

Nova Scotia Archives / Via commons.wikimedia.org / Creative Commons

"If we murder Old Jeremiah Halfpenney, we will never chop wood again."

Nova Scotia Archives / Via commons.wikimedia.org / Creative Commons

"And a merry murder it shall be."

Nova Scotia Archives / Via commons.wikimedia.org / Creative Commons

"A murder most merry and bright."

Nova Scotia Archives / Via commons.wikimedia.org / Creative Commons

13. These kids dressed up like idiots.

commons.wikimedia.org / Creative Commons

14. This little boy only enjoying Christmas because he's off his fucking nut.

commons.wikimedia.org / Creative Commons

"I can taste colours!"

commons.wikimedia.org / Creative Commons

15. This poor piece of shit being kidnapped by a pervy-ass Santa.

Miami U. Libraries / Via commons.wikimedia.org / Creative Commons

"Shiiiiiiiit."

Miami U. Libraries / Via commons.wikimedia.org / Creative Commons

16. The girl trapped under the mistletoe with this sneaky fucker.

Miami U. Libraries / Via commons.wikimedia.org / Creative Commons

"Isn't it bad enough that my entire family died of cholera?"

Miami U. Libraries / Via commons.wikimedia.org / Creative Commons

17. This servant boy spending his Christmas day serving a massive Christmas pudding to a family of wealthy bellends.

Hulton Archive / Getty Images

18. These dead-ass ghost children having a miserable fucking time in the afterlife.

Mike Goad / Via Flickr: exit78

19. This lead-poisoned boy about to be sick on his only friend's toy boat.

Miami U. Libraries / Via commons.wikimedia.org / Creative Commons

20. These sisters pretending to feed birds in order to escape the wrath of their drunken father.

Hulton Archive / Getty Images

21. These kids collecting wood so that they don't freeze to death in their beds.

"Move quickly, Mary, or we shall never wake to see Christmas Day.""That wouldn't be a very Happy Christmas at all, John."
Hulton Archive / Getty Images

"Move quickly, Mary, or we shall never wake to see Christmas Day."

"That wouldn't be a very Happy Christmas at all, John."

22. These kids experiencing whatever the fuck's happening here.

RIP these kids.
Nova Scotia Archives / Via commons.wikimedia.org / Creative Commons

RIP these kids.

23. This rich bastard who's terrified he'll be made to do a piano recital after dinner.

Charles Green (1840-1898) / Via commons.wikimedia.org / Creative Commons

"But I haven't had enough time to practice, Mother."

Charles Green (1840-1898) / Via commons.wikimedia.org / Creative Commons

24. This pair going for a miserable-ass Christmas walk.

Hulton Archive / Getty Images

"Perhaps the coming year shall bring us less misfortune, James."

Hulton Archive / Getty Images

"Perhaps it shall, Winifred."

Hulton Archive / Getty Images

"Or, James, perhaps we shall be more miserable still."

Hulton Archive / Getty Images

25. And finally, this kid riding a butterfly to escape her miserable-ass existence.

"Buhbyyyye."
Hulton Archive / Getty Images

"Buhbyyyye."