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65 Thoughts Everyone Has While Moving

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1. It's moving day!

2. This is the last time I'll wake up in this terrible shithole!

3. So long, mouldy patch of closet that I've been ignoring!

4. Farewell, crack in the paint over my bed! I'll never see your dog-shaped face again!

5. Oh god, I am going to get rid of all this old crap that's been accumulating for years once and for all, and it's going to feel so ~liberating~.

6. Except for this box of old receipts. I will obviously need these.

7. And this half-jar of Nutella. That's coming with me.

8. And, well, only a monster would throw away this broken teapot. Just because it's broken, doesn't mean it's not loved.

9. And these empty jam jars will make excellent vases in my ~new home~.

10. Wow, this was not enough boxes. I'll just carry the odds and ends.

11. NOOO TEAPOT, I'M SORRY FOR DROPPING YOU!

12. R.I.P. teapot.

13. Oh, oh yes, watch me get all this crap into this vehicle. I am Tetris master.

14. Well you don't really need to see out the rearview mirror…

15. I'll just...drive slowly.

16. Oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god.

17. Oh wow, look at me, with all my worldly posessions in one place.

18. I could drive ANYWHERE right now and be TOTALLY FINE.

19. I would even have all my receipts with me!

20. I SHOULD DRIVE FOR 300 MILES IN A RANDOM DIRECTION AND START A NEW LIFE.

21. Meh, sounds like a lot of effort, never mind.

22. Are we there yet?

23. Ooh, getting to my new neighbourhood now!

24. What a conveniently located gym. I will get a membership ASAP.

25. And what a lovely park! I will go jogging there all the time.

26. Hello, café! Soon I will walk in to you every morning after my jog and ask for the "usual", and the friendly proprietor will hand me a soy latte with a chuckle and a wink.

27. Life is a grand adventure.

28. Soooo, which of these keys was it?

29. Haha, can't get any of them to work!

30. Maybe you have to do it the other way?

31. Maybe you have to turn the key while doing something weird to the handle?

32. Maybe the estate agent gave me...the wrong keys?

33. FUCK EVERYTHING I AM SO TIRED I JUST WANT TO BE ON THE INSIDE NOW.

34. Oh, I'm in! Hello, new home!

35. I will now unpack each and every one of my posessions with tender loving care, and not stop until everything is in its rightful place and I am the proud occupant of a Pinterest-o-gasmic home.

36. Wow, the last person sure left a lot of...shit...around.

37. Well, maybe I should have a sit down before I start unpacking.

38. Cup of tea, I've earned it.

39. Oh dear, what's that smell?

40. OooOOooOooh, maybe I'll light a scented candle.

41. But where did I put those matches?

42. No idea where the candles are, for that matter.

43. Do I even own any scented candles?

44. That's OK, would have been a fire hazard anyway.

45. Hmmm... I swear the landlord said all this construction would be sorted out before I moved in.

46. Well, I'm sure it will be taken care of today or tomorrow.

47. I'll just leave a message with the ol' estate agent.

48. I'm sure they check their voicemail frequently.

49. Hmmm, quite tired from all the moving.

50. Don't exactly have a bed yet. I think I'll just...lie...down for a min–

51. OH GOD I'M AWAKE.

52. WHERE EVEN AM I.

53. WHAT HAVE I DONE TO MY BACK.

54. WHAT IS THIS FRESH HELL OF BOXES.

55. THERE IS NO INTERNET.

56. WHAT IF THERE IS NEVER INTERNET.

57. OH DEAR GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE.

58. Ugggghh, it will take years to unpack this mountain of crap.

59. Why do I even have possessions. I should burn them all.

60. Wait, what's in this box?

61. OOH, MONEY.

62. Welp, might as well order a pizza!

63. Mmmm, pizza.

64. Everything's going to be juuuust pizza.

65. I mean juuuust fine.

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