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The Imaginary Diaries Of Julian Assange

Two years of fond and completely made-up memories from everyone's favourite house guest at the Ecuadorian embassy.

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Hi. My name's Julian. I founded WikiLeaks. This is my diary from the last two years of my life!

I think I look pretty good in this pic lol.
Peter Macdiarmid / Via Getty Images

I think I look pretty good in this pic lol.

This is Ecuadorian foreign minister Ricardo Patiño. We're friends.

He's letting me stay in his embassy for a while. He says I'm getting "diplomatic asylum" but I like to think of it as more of a fun sleepover!
John Stillwell / Via Getty Images

He's letting me stay in his embassy for a while. He says I'm getting "diplomatic asylum" but I like to think of it as more of a fun sleepover!

Day 1. Today I gave an important message to my supporters.

They're like, obsessed with me.
Hannah Jewell / Sang Tan / AP Photo

They're like, obsessed with me.

Day 2. My mate Steve came to say hello. They didn't let him inside though.

LOL he thinks he's Julian but really he's Steve.
Matthew Lloyd / Via Getty Images

LOL he thinks he's Julian but really he's Steve.

Day 43. Today I got a webcam!! I used it to send a message to my supporters.

They really want to help!!!
Hannah Jewell / Julian Assange / Via pbs.twimg.com

They really want to help!!!

Day 64. Today is my first big speech! Can't wait to get some fresh air!

Chris Helgren / Reuters

Day 125. Steve came back today, with a bigger sign.

Hey Steve!!!
Dan Kitwood / Via Getty Images

Hey Steve!!!

Day 191. Christmas.

I decided to grow a big beard since the Ecuadorian embassy doesn't have a chimney to let Father Christmas in. :-(
CNN / Via Twitter: @cfhorgan

I decided to grow a big beard since the Ecuadorian embassy doesn't have a chimney to let Father Christmas in. :-(

Day 277. Getting a bit tired of goat stew.

It's the Ecuadorian national dish. Should have holed up in the Italian embassy haha!
Hannah Jewell / Twitter: @DriveJustice

It's the Ecuadorian national dish. Should have holed up in the Italian embassy haha!

Day 378. Apparently there's a new guy on the block, spilling state secrets just like me. Maybe he'll come live with me if he likes my joke!

Hannah Jewell / Julian Assange / Via youtube.com
Hannah Jewell / Julian Assange / Via youtube.com
Thanks guys! I'll be here all night. And for several hundred more nights.
Hannah Jewell / Julian Assange / Via youtube.com

Thanks guys! I'll be here all night. And for several hundred more nights.

Day 402. Steve came back!!

But he just took a selfie and left. :(
Oli Scarff / Via Getty Images

But he just took a selfie and left. :(

Day 460. Getting a lil bit bored of Ricardo tbh. Someone show me what's up on the outside plz!!

Hannah Jewell / ANDREW COWIE/AFP / Getty Images
Hannah Jewell / ANDREW COWIE/AFP / Getty Images

Day 481. They're letting me do another speech today from the big boy balcony!

Peter Macdiarmid / Getty Images

This time they'll have to listen.

Hannah Jewell / Leon Neal / Via AFP / Getty Images

Day 599. Where is everybody?

What happened to Steve? Maybe he got busy.
Matthew Lloyd / Via Getty Images

What happened to Steve? Maybe he got busy.

Day 640. I have a new friend now! His name is French Actor And Former International Footballer Eric Cantona.

Fuck you, Steve.
Twitter: @br_uk

Fuck you, Steve.

Day 792. Biiig meeting today! All the important grown-ups are here. They said I might be allowed to go outside!

AP Photo / John Stillwell / Via POOL

I'm sure they'll let me out soon...ladies!

Lol jk!!!
Hannah Jewell / John Stillwell / Via WPA Pool / Getty Images

Lol jk!!!

Stay tuned for the next update in my big adventure, guys!!!

Hannah Jewell / Oli Scarff / Getty Images