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28 Times Ted Cruz Was Actually Super Relatable

Ted Cruz is just like us tbh.

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1. When you stub the fuck out of your toe but you're on a date with a 10 so you pretend you're fine.

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2. When your parents forget to pick you up after school and you have to walk home.

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3. When you're trying on a daring new outfit and your friends are really supportive when you come out the fitting room.

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4. When the guy you hate at work gives a presentation that you thought was gonna suck but it was actually OK.

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5. When your friend hits on your crush even though they knew.

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6. When you thought the date went well and moved in for the kiss but they were definitely not on the same page.

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7. When you gotta fart in a meeting so you try to cover up the sound with a little clearing of your throat but you're worried it won't be enough.

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8. When fucking Greg takes a second hotdog even though he knew you hadn't had one yet and now there are no more hotdogs.

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9. When you walk into your brother's room to ask him something and he's masturbating wildly.

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10. When you miss your train 'cause you were too cool to run through the station and also you kinda need to take a shit.

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11. When you decide to buy a salad for lunch and then your co-worker gets a delicious burger and you realise your huge mistake.

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12. When your boss thanks you for bringing him coffee in front of your colleagues and now you look like a suck-up.

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13. When you sit down on a toilet seat and it's kinda wet.

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14. When you get a shitty gift.

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15. When you're playing Monopoly and it was going well but then you landed on a hotel.

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16. When there's a sudden, slight pain in your chest and you remember that death is inevitable.

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17. When you're standing in front of a bunch of people and don't know what to do with your hands.

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18. When someone says a racist joke and you pretend you didn't hear them.

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19. When you walk into the shower and there's a giant spider on the wall.

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20. When you get too high.

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21. When Greg texted to say he didn't want to go out tonight but then you see him in the club.

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22. And it pisses you off cause that guy's a jerk and this isn't the first time he's done this.

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23. When you meet your ex's new partner at a party and shake hands with them and your ex is obviously loving it.

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24. When you're just crying really, really hard and your throat makes a weird noise.

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25. When you see a hottie on the train so you stare at them in the window reflection.

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26. When stupid Greg doesn't understand the difference between the elves of Rivendell and the elves of Lórien.

“Rivendell has a large population of Noldor, who journeyed to Valinor but were exiled to Middle-earth where they battled Morgoth; Lothlórien elves are mostly Silvan or Sindar, those who turned back from Valinor; the Silvan of Lórien are now called by some the Galadhrim, or ‘tree-folk’. For fucks' sake, Greg.”
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“Rivendell has a large population of Noldor, who journeyed to Valinor but were exiled to Middle-earth where they battled Morgoth; Lothlórien elves are mostly Silvan or Sindar, those who turned back from Valinor; the Silvan of Lórien are now called by some the Galadhrim, or ‘tree-folk’. For fucks' sake, Greg.”

27. When the meaninglessness of it all consumes you with sadness.

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28. And when you have a naughty secret.

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