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22 Problems You'll Only Understand If You're Six Months Old

It's a hard nap life.

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1. You're hopelessly top-heavy, and the big people just find it funny.

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Don't they care that your skull's anterior fontanelle has yet to harden? Don't they?!

2. The baby talk is really starting to get old.

Ugh, grown-ups, please feel free to start using complete sentences with me any day now.
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Ugh, grown-ups, please feel free to start using complete sentences with me any day now.

3. You can't control your bodily functions just yet.

I've got a stomach ache over here, what do you expect?
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I've got a stomach ache over here, what do you expect?

4. And you definitely can't control your feelings.

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Screw bathtime.

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5. People post way too much information about you on social media.

Wayyyy too much.
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Wayyyy too much.

6. And the constant photos are taking their toll.

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Staaahhhhppp.

7. People have started handing you something called "solid food" but you're really not sure what to do with it.

They must want you to mush it up.
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They must want you to mush it up.

8. And there's no denying it: Baby food is garbage.

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Oh, good. Pureed carrots. Again.

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9. Every now and then you catch a glimpse of another baby who looks just like you and lives in your house and it's just more than anyone could handle.

WHO IS THAT BABY. WHY IS SHE IN MY HOUSE.
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WHO IS THAT BABY. WHY IS SHE IN MY HOUSE.

10. Learning to crawl is totally exhausting.

11. And every time you see a new shape or colour that's a whole new neural pathway you have to build.

It's unrelenting.
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It's unrelenting.

12. That may be why you keep falling asleep in the strangest places, no matter what you're doing, or who's watching.

It's really quite embarrassing.
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It's really quite embarrassing.

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13. Oh, and you shit yourself several times a day.

At least you have people to clean it up for you.
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At least you have people to clean it up for you.

14. The dog is constantly stealing your thunder.

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Can't you see I'm crawling, dog?

15. And you can't fight back against the kisses of uncles and aunties.

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Ewwwww.

16. You're totally helpless against the plots of your older siblings.

Hey, sister, my hand control is developing rapidly at this age, you better watch out.
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Hey, sister, my hand control is developing rapidly at this age, you better watch out.

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17. You're often distracted by the thought of boobs.

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18. People keep putting wild animals into your bed as if it's going to help you sleep better.

Are they stupid?!
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Are they stupid?!

19. And they dress you up in humiliating costumes.

There's nothing you can do about it. Absolutely nothing.
vibes.fr

There's nothing you can do about it. Absolutely nothing.

20. But regular clothes can be pretty dreadful, too.

Ugh, only 10–15 years until I'm old enough to write a powerful blog about this.
Twitter: @daybreaknorth

Ugh, only 10–15 years until I'm old enough to write a powerful blog about this.

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21. You've heard about this thing called chocolate, but you're not allowed to have it yet.

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The world is a very cruel place.

22. Whenever you're crying, the big people are all "Oh no, baby, what's wrong?" and all you want to do is shout I'M FUCKING TEETHING THAT'S WHAT'S WRONG. THERE IS ACTUAL BONE BURSTING OUT OF MY TINY BABY GUMS.

But you haven't learned how to shout those words yet.So you wait.
Getty Images/iStockphoto Eric Jean-Louis

But you haven't learned how to shout those words yet.

So you wait.

Don't worry: As soon as you're a bit bigger, you will take your revenge.