1. The pub is supposed to be a nice warm cosy place to gather around a fire and drink a nice beer and smile and laugh with your friends. Right?
NOPE! YOU'RE FUCKING WRONG!
2. Why, you ask? Because of the fuckin' rounds system, that's why. The rounds system sucks a big one.
3. It sucks if you're broke.
4. When you're roped into a round, you end up spending waaay more money that you intended, AND often buying drinks for people who have way more money than you.
5. Also, there's always some fucker in your round who drinks way faster than you do.
6. Either that or YOU'RE the fast drinker, and then you're just sat there with an empty bottle like "CAN U HURRY."
7. Or, worst of all, you'll end up caught in an UNJUST round, where you're buying someone dry-ass martinis and they're buying you cheap AF lager.
8. Either that or YOU really want a goddamn dry-ass martini and feel guilty for asking for one when you realise they're just having a shitty lager.
9. Or when it's your turn to buy and they're like "yeah I'll have a gin gimlet but like with Grey Goose and three-quarters of a lime and a half a lemon squeezed in and four bits of ice and served in a highball glass, please."
10. So then you're at the bar trying to remember their stupidly complicated drink and you sound like a pretentious dickhead. It's all too much to bear.
11. Of course, as soon as you're roped into a round, it's impossible to just have one drink like you intended.
12. Then there's that thing where it's someone's turn to buy a round and they just up and leave.
13. That or you're the one who really wants to leave so that you don't have to listen to another second of so-and-so going on about their break-up.
14. Or maybe you DO have to be somewhere and just have to take the social hit and leave.
15. And sometimes – sometimes – you'll get caught between multiple groups of people and get tangled up in more than one round, and then you can't even remember who owes what to whom.
16. And maybe the next day, you'll run into someone and realise you owed them a drink and never got it for them.
17. And maaaaaybe you won't be back in the pub with that person any time soon and the longer you owe them a drink the more the shame builds.
18. All of this stress adds up to make drinking a high-intensity, non-relaxing, overly expensive social minefield.