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22 Excellent Reasons To Ban The Rounds System Immediately

The rounds system is the best way to spend more money than you have, get way drunker than you planned, and make all your friends hate you.

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1. The pub is supposed to be a nice warm cosy place to gather around a fire and drink a nice beer and smile and laugh with your friends. Right?

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Riiiiight? Riiiiggghhhhhtttt????

NOPE! YOU'RE FUCKING WRONG!

2. Why, you ask? Because of the fuckin' rounds system, that's why. The rounds system sucks a big one.

That's you in the pub roped into a big round with a bunch of assholes.^^
Thinkstock / emojistickers.com / BuzzFeed

That's you in the pub roped into a big round with a bunch of assholes.^^

3. It sucks if you're broke.

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If you're broke, you might be able to afford to go to the pub for a niiiiceeee bottle of their cheapest whatever, and suckle it slowly throughout the night. If you're in a round, you just can't get away with that.

4. When you're roped into a round, you end up spending waaay more money that you intended, AND often buying drinks for people who have way more money than you.

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And it's the worst.

5. Also, there's always some fucker in your round who drinks way faster than you do.

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So they just sit and fucking stare at you in your fucking face while you anxiously slurp at your own drink and it becomes a miserable ticking time bomb of social anxiety and resentment.

6. Either that or YOU'RE the fast drinker, and then you're just sat there with an empty bottle like "CAN U HURRY."

7. Or, worst of all, you'll end up caught in an UNJUST round, where you're buying someone dry-ass martinis and they're buying you cheap AF lager.

This isn't justice. This isn't equality. This isn't the world we wanted for our children.
Thinkstock / BuzzFeed

This isn't justice. This isn't equality. This isn't the world we wanted for our children.

8. Either that or YOU really want a goddamn dry-ass martini and feel guilty for asking for one when you realise they're just having a shitty lager.

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YOU'RE THE ONE THAT ROPED ME IN TO THIS SHIT.

9. Or when it's your turn to buy and they're like "yeah I'll have a gin gimlet but like with Grey Goose and three-quarters of a lime and a half a lemon squeezed in and four bits of ice and served in a highball glass, please."

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And you're like "lol, OK" and forget their order immediately.

10. So then you're at the bar trying to remember their stupidly complicated drink and you sound like a pretentious dickhead. It's all too much to bear.

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I only wanted a pleasant evening in the pub, you think to yourself, shivering and crying.

11. Of course, as soon as you're roped into a round, it's impossible to just have one drink like you intended.

If there's one thing I've learnt from uni so far it's that there's no such thing as going for 1 quick pint, always leads to double figures😷

It's just not a healthy system, this rounds thing.

12. Then there's that thing where it's someone's turn to buy a round and they just up and leave.

Met a tightrope walker in the pub last night. Bought him a drink. When it was his round he sneaked off, dragging his bit of rope behind him.

"Byyyeee!" β€”assholes

13. That or you're the one who really wants to leave so that you don't have to listen to another second of so-and-so going on about their break-up.

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But you have to stay to get your round in so that people don't find out what a dickhead you are.

14. Or maybe you DO have to be somewhere and just have to take the social hit and leave.

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"Byyyyyeeeeee!" β€”you

15. And sometimes – sometimes – you'll get caught between multiple groups of people and get tangled up in more than one round, and then you can't even remember who owes what to whom.

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The drinking doesn't help the remembering.

16. And maybe the next day, you'll run into someone and realise you owed them a drink and never got it for them.

😰
Paramount Pictures

😰

17. And maaaaaybe you won't be back in the pub with that person any time soon and the longer you owe them a drink the more the shame builds.

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😰😰😰😰😰😰😰😰😰😰😰😰😰😰😰😰😰😰😰😰😰😰😰😰😰😰😰😰😰😰😰😰😰😰😰😰😰😰😰😰😰😰😰😰😰😰😰😰

18. All of this stress adds up to make drinking a high-intensity, non-relaxing, overly expensive social minefield.

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Sounddddsssss greeaaattttt.

19. Of course, there are always those beautiful souls who just buy rounds and don't expect one back.

My grandads just bought everyone in the pub a round, haha what a legend

But they're mostly old people and dads, and there are never enough old people or dads in your round.

20. Or you might be lucky enough to find yourself on the receiving end of someone who's too drunk to know or care whose turn it is anyway.

My coworker bought a round of tequila 😩😩😩 I'm in heaven πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

But again, these people are rare and hard to get a hold of, like unicorns in the mist.

21. But hey, you know what they do in other, freer countries? They buy their own damn drinks.

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Or like, buy drinks for each other, but not in an oppressive kinda way, you know? But you can't bring that up 'cause then no one wants to go to the pub with you any more because you're a tedious bore.

22. In conclusion: Are rounds lovely and inclusive and sociable and splendid and great?

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Ban rounds.