Choose A Snail And Learn A Deep Truth
You chose Leaf Boy. This means you have the potential for many outdoor adventures in your snuture (snail future). Do not sit indoors. Even if the weather is looking strange and spooky, go out into the world and you will encounter many wonders. Leaf Boy compels you to breathe fresh air and approach your life's troubles with a clean and untroubled mind. Only then will you be able to realise what it is you must do.
YOU HAVE BEEN BLESSED BY GOLDIE LUXE. FOLLOW THE BEAUTIFUL GOLDEN SHELL AND GREAT RICHES AWAIT YOU. FOCUS YOUR MIND ON LIFE’S TRUE TREASURE – MONEY – AND SOON YOU SHALL BE WEALTHY AS THE GOLDEN SNAIL.
You have chosen Skaterboi, the snail of dark memories and deeply-hidden pain. You have been ignoring issues that cry out for your attention, human child. Stop a moment today. Get off the skateboard of life. Remember what it is that hurt you. Reach out to the person you miss. Tell them you love them. Tell them Skaterboi, the snail, told you so. That's how you know. Who knows, maybe you will heal and begin a new srelationship (snail relationship).
You have received the wisdom of Shy Girl, the snail of introspection and inner peace. You must cancel one plan this weekend, and use the time to retreat into your shell and deeply consider your snelf (snail self) and the things you want from this slife (snail life). If you do this you will receive one truth about the universe which will in turn lead you to great and wonderful things.
You chose Cool Bro, the coolest snail of all. Cool Bro tells you to take it easy, crack open a brewski, munch on a piece of lettuce, and kick back with your best sriends (snail friends). If you move too quickly you will miss out on what matters most in life: Love, laughter, and being a cool bro with cool bro friends.
WATCH OUT. YOU HAVE CHOSEN MURDER SNAIL. YOU MUST TAKE EXTRA CARE THIS EVENING. MURDER SNAIL DEMANDS HUMAN FLESH. DO NOT LET IT BE YOURS.
You have been blessed by Better Tomorrow Snail. Your life will turn around for the better. You do not have to take any action to make this happen. You have simply been blessed by the Better Tomorrow Snail with a life of great luck and joy. So just relax and enjoy the sride (snail ride).
You chose Open road snail. This means that you have an urge to explore and a lust for snadventure (snail adventure). What’s important to you isn’t the destination – it’s the long, remarkably slow journey. It’s important that you follow your sneams (snail dreams), take that leap into the unknown, and don’t let the risk of passing cars deter you as you set your sights on that endless horizon that stretches ahead of you. Go and discover its mysteries!
Your fortune is told by the Lonesome Snail. You are the snail who crawls your own path, boldly striking out on your own with no need for sniends (snail friends). You carry your house on your back. You are self-contained unit of perfection. You’ve got this. And in the long lonesome nights, when you feel the cold hand of snelancholy (snail melancholy) reaching for you, simply snuggle up in your warm shell and remind yourself that everything’s going to be alright.
You have chosen to receive your fortune from Sloopy Slime Boy, the horniest of snails. This means you have much snexual gratification (snail sexual gratification) in your future. Sloppy Slime Boy encourages you to try new things and indulge yourself, whether with a partner or alone. Follow the advice of Sloopy Slime Boy and you will have seven snorgasms (snail orgasms).