22 Medieval Beasts That Are You On A Night Out
This is why people don't invite you places.
When you tell your friends you're "ten minutes away!" but you're actually nowhere near ready.
When one of your friends sticks their head out the taxi window on the way there like an idiot.
When you get to the gig but you're way too short to see anything.
So then you get up on someone's shoulders but you feel kinda bad about it cause you're not that light tbh.
And then your friend Julie gets annoyed because she wants a turn on Mark's shoulders, but Mark is like "oh fuck no not another".
When you get to the club and the bouncer says it's full and you can't BELIEVE you got all made up for nothing.
When you try and flirt with the bouncer to get in but he is NOT having it.
When you finally get in the club and get really hammered and don't even notice when you lose your flower crown.
When you're trying to let loose but nearly slip on something wet and horrible on the dance floor.
When you spot two drunk people kissing in the corner and it's just a nightmare of tongues.
When some creep gets handsy and you have to make a beeline for the toilets.
When you get to the toilets and compliment some girls you've never met on their amazing contouring.
When it's getting late and you get weirdly angry and say something regrettable to your friends.
When you're feeling pretty cute and someone takes a picture.
When you and your friend both pull on the dance floor.
When you see your ex with their new S.O. who you and your friends refer to as "the snake".
When you're feeling confident and jump in the middle of the dance circle.
When too many of you try to get in the selfie and it's impossible for everyone to look cute in it.
When you've been dancing so long that you don't even realise all your friends have gone home, but you're still having a great time alone so you just keep going.
When it's the end of the night and your legs are killing you.
When you pull at the end of the night and are feeling quite pleased with yourself...
...and he's a total hottie.
But then you wake up the next morning and realise you've made a huge mistake.
You're just sure they didn't look like this at the club.
And you resolve never to do this again.
So the next weekend you don't answer your phone, stay in, put on your comfiest hoodie and read a book.
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