25 Jokes Guaranteed To Make Grammar Nerds Laugh

“You can’t run through a campsite. You can only ran, since it’s past tents.”

We recently asked members of the BuzzFeed Community to tell us their best grammar joke. Here are some of the best replies!

1. This joke for fans of the Oxford comma:

“There are three things that I love: the Oxford comma, irony, and missed opportunities.”

Submitted by Mercutio

2. This perfect knock-knock joke:

“Knock knock.”
“Who’s there?”
“To.”
“To who?”
“To whom!”

Submitted by Isabel Bryant and Sally Parker, Facebook

3. What’s the difference between a cat and a comma?

Submitted by Helene Støvring, Facebook Luckybusiness / Getty Images

4. This important difference:

“There’s a big difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit.”

Submitted by mrfrancot

5. This groanworthy pun:

“When’s a door not a door?”

“When it’s ajar.”

Submitted by nadjpodj

6. This great comeback:

Submitted by RenaeTheFangirl Recep-bg / Getty Images

7. This example of a very inappropriate noun:

“Why wouldn’t the pronoun go out with the noun?”

“He kept propositioning her.”

Submitted by Matthew Gregory Spence, Facebook

8. This joke that will teach you a bit of sex ed AND grammar:

“Why do sperm cells look like commas and apostrophes?”

“They often interrupt periods and lead to contractions.”

Submitted by davidcrose89

9. The greatest definition of a word the world has ever seen:

Submitted by MikkiMac Alexsava / Getty Images

10. This painfully true joke:

“It’s funny how full stops are known as periods in the US. Ask any girl, it’s never a full stop.”

Submitted by louises48af32a2e

11. This mistake:

“I’ve always taken pride in knowing how to use a semicolon; damn.”

Submitted by niklaussmith

12. This accurate observation:

Submitted by katyp473615d91 A_taiga / Getty Images

13. This snarky comeback:

“An English teacher was lecturing to a large class. She said, ‘In many languages, a double negative indicates a positive. In some languages, a double negative is still a negative. However, there are no languages in which a double positive indicates a negative.’

“A voice from the back of the room chimes in, ‘Yeah, right!’”

Submitted by davidcrose89

14. This silly joke:

“Which word is shorter when you add two letters to it?”

“Short.”

Submitted by davidcrose89

15. This quick answer:

Submitted by davidcrose89 Maxiphoto / Getty Images

16. A simple riddle:

“A word in this sentence is misspelled.”

Submitted by davidcrose89

17. This extra nerdy one:

“An ancient Egyptian student is chiseling his essay into a stone. His teacher comes over and says, ‘No, you should never end a sentence with an ox.’”

Submitted by davidcrose89

18. This great setup for a film:

Submitted by hadleykins Nastco / Getty Images

19. This joke that shows just how important a comma is:

“Let’s eat Grandma!”
“Let’s eat, Grandma!”
Punctuation saves lives.

Submitted by hannahbarness

20. A long one, but a good one:

“Brother Mark arrives at the monastery where he intends to devote his life to servitude to the Lord. When he arrives, he discovers that the other brothers are creating new books by copying from previous copies.

“So he asks Brother John, ‘Do you ever proofread these copies against the original? How do you know that someone isn’t copying a mistake?’

“Brother John ponders this and decides, ‘Alright, I’ll take one of the newest copies and compare it to the original text.’

“Off goes Brother John into the vault in the cellar where the original holy texts are kept. The day goes by and that night, he still hasn’t emerged from the vault. The brothers grow worried and Brother Mark goes downstairs to check on Brother John.

“As soon as he steps into the cellar, he can hear the faint sound of sobbing. He follows the sound until he finds Brother John sat with both the copy and original text in front of him. It is obvious that Brother John has been crying for some time.

“‘Brother John!’ Brother Mark says. ‘What is the matter?’

“Brother John sobs again and exclaims, ‘Oh my Lord! The word is CELEBRATE!’”

Submitted by weetzie133

21. This proof that grammar jokes can be dirty:

Submitted by chigirl Corolanty / Getty Images

22. A joke for ~advanced~ grammar nerds:

“What did the intransitive verb say when told it was pretty?”

“Nothing. Intransitive verbs can’t take complements.”

Submitted by julz98

23. This sensible idea:

“I’ll never date an apostrophe again. He was so possessive.”

Submitted by transboynerd

24. This head-scratcher:

Submitted by lisah42e99b30d and awaandrews Donald34 / Getty Images

25. And finally, this perfect pun:

“John was excited because his local newspaper was hosting a pun contest. He stayed up all night carefully creating ten puns. He submitted them the next morning. When the results came back, John checked to see if he won but, alas, no pun in ten did.”

Submitted by d4b70ea693

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Hannah Jewell is a senior staff writer for BuzzFeed News and is based in London.
 
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