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If Harry Potter Moved To London In His 20s

Harry Potter and the Uber He Got When Drunk Despite Being Able to Apparate

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1. Harry Potter and the Mistaken Belief That Just Because You're Magical You Don't Have to Pay Council Tax

2. Harry Potter and the Unpaid Internship at The Daily Prophet

3. Harry Potter and the Guy Who Keeps on Trying to Endorse Him on LinkedIn for "Wizard"

4. Harry Potter and the Tenancy Agreement that Prohibits Having an Owl

5. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Damp Which the Landlord Definitely Didn't Mention When He Was Having a Look Round

6. Harry Potter and the Complicated System for Paying the Electric Bill That Involves a Plastic Key and Frequent Trips to the Offie to Top Up Because Even Wizards Need Electricity Sometimes

7. Harry Potter and the Far-Too-Sensitive Fire Alarm Which Won't Turn Off Unless You Hit It With a Broomstick

8. Harry Potter and the Owl Shit All Over His Windshield

9. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Oxford Circus at Rush Hour

10. Harry Potter and the Unexpectedly Useful Information He Learned in His Herbology O.W.L.

11. Harry Potter and the Overwhelming Longing for Air That Doesn't Always Smell Like Piss and Diesel

12. Harry Potter and the Disappointing Sainsbury's Basics Supper

13. Harry Potter and the Philosophy Graduate Wanker Who Somehow Ends Up at All the Same Parties

14. Harry Potter and the Slightly Threatening Letter From the Council About Voter Registration

15. Harry Potter and the Disgusting Goblet Left by His Flatmate in the Sink for Three Days That's Gone All Mouldy and Horrible

16. Harry Potter and the Deathly Stare at the Woman Blocking the Entrance to the Tube Carriage Even Though There's Plenty of Fucking Room Inside

17. Harry Potter and the Never-Ending Construction Noise

18. Harry Potter and the Creeping Bathroom Mould That No Known Magic Can Stop

19. Harry Potter and the 800 Tourists Blocking His Way in Diagon Alley

20. Harry Potter and the Half-Drunk Sext

21. Harry Potter and the Strongly Worded Letter to the Council About the Never-Ending Construction Noise

22. Harry Potter and the Discovery That an Invisibility Cloak Lets You Get Into Clubs for Free

23. Harry Potter and the Discovery That His Patronus Doesn't Work Against Angry Bouncers

24. Harry Potter and the Interminable Hell of the Central Line When There's Too Many Fucking Muggles About to Take the Broomstick

25. Harry Potter and the Twats, Twats Everywhere

26. Harry Potter and the Oh God Is it Even Legal to Make This Much Construction Noise on a Sunday

27. Harry Potter and the Discovery that Draco Is Now a Magical Management Consultant Getting Paid Three Times What He Earns

28. Harry Potter and the Joke About the Unbeatable Wand Which HR Deemed Inappropriate for the Workplace

29. Harry Potter and the Grudging Acknowledgement That the Marauder's Map Isn't as Useful as Citymapper

30. Harry Potter and the Unpaid TV Licence

31. Harry Potter and Ron's Embarrassing Photo With a Dragon in His Tinder Profile Picture

32. Harry Potter and the Ill-Advised Fifth Butterbeer on a Work Night

33. Harry Potter and the Dementor-Like Darkness of London in Winter

34. Harry Potter and the Mysteriously Invisible Broadband Engineer

35. Harry Potter and the Problematic Colleague Who Thought It Was OK to Dress Up as Kingsley Shacklebolt for Halloween

36. Harry Potter and the Lack of a Spell That Stops Netflix From Buffering

37. Harry Potter and the Slushy Brown Snow Which Isn't Anywhere Near as Good as When It Snowed at Hogwarts Because Nothing About Adult Life is Actually Anywhere Near as Good as Hogwarts if We're Being Perfectly Honest

38. Harry Potter and the Growing Temptation to Use an Unforgivable Curse Against This Letting Agent

39. Harry Potter and the Internet Trolls Are Somehow Even Worse Than Actual Trolls

40. Harry Potter and the Stern Reminder That "I'd Like to Slytherin to Your Hufflepuff" Is Also Not an Appropriate Workplace Comment

41. Harry Potter and the Jobseeker's Allowance

42. Harry Potter and the Dreadful Mandatory Staff Bonding Day

43. Harry Potter and the Lack of House Elves to Clean out the Drain Hair Blocking the Shower So He'll Have to Do It His Fucking Self

44. Harry Potter and the Too-Loud Pub

45. Harry Potter and the Fact That Playing With the Monday-Night Work Quidditch Five-A-Side Team Only Reminds You of Faded Glories and Crushed Dreams

46. Harry Potter and the Three-Day Firewhisky Hangover Heralding the Impending Misery of Middle Age

47. Harry Potter and the Crushing Realisation You Still Have to Pay the Congestion Charge Even When Your Car Can Fly

48. Harry Potter and the Uber He Got When Drunk Despite Being Able to Apparate

49. Harry Potter and the Letter From Hogwarts Asking for a Donation

50. Harry Potter and Why the Fuck Are There Loads of Muggles Dressed Up as Me Driving a Fake Trolley Into a Wall in King's Cross Station

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