You haven’t got out of bed yet.You got out of bed earlier, but only to quickly pee, and then got back in bed.You got out of bed earlier, but only to eat breakfast, and then got back in bed.Your breakfast was just an underdone piece of toast because you were too lazy to wait for it to toast fully.Your breakfast was leftovers from last night’s dinner, and you ate it directly out of a pot on the stove, where it’s been since yesterday, using a wooden cooking spoon.You ate sweets for breakfast because they were in your bag, which was much closer than the kitchen.The sweet wrappers are now surrounding your bed.You want nothing more than coffee but you cannot be bothered to make some.You waited until you could hear your housemate/partner/parents in the kitchen, then cried out to them for coffee.When they brought you coffee, you also asked them to bring you something to eat.When you finished eating, you just put your plate on the floor next to your bed.The next time you heard someone walk past you asked them nicely to take the plate away.Your housemate/partner/parent is just as lazy as you are, so you are spending the day waiting for the other to get up so you can ask them to bring you things.This stalemate has become strangely competitive.Not only have you not gotten out of bed, but you’re not actually doing anything.You read all of Facebook, closed it down, and then immediately opened it again to see if there was anything new.You’ve done this five times already today.You watched a video on Facebook 20 minutes ago and have been letting it autoplay some pretty weird shit since then.You’ve rewatched a dog video that you’ve seen several times before, and it was delightful.Now you’re researching Airbnbs in Spain.You have no plans to go to Spain.You’ve already looked at all the interesting apps on your phone, so now you’re taking an in-depth look at your weather app.Not that you’re planning on going outside because it’s so far away.You got out of bed, but then brought your duvet and pillows through to the sofa to recreate your bed there.You forgot your phone in your bedroom, though, so the next time your housemate/partner/parent walks past, you ask if they’ll kindly bring it to you.You were supposed to do something today but you can’t remember what it was.You wrote down what you were supposed to do today on a little piece of paper that you could probably reach from where you are, but you can’t be bothered to actually look at it.Your friend who you actually really like texted you, but you were too lazy text back.You did text back, and your phone autocorrected something so that the text made no sense, but you just sent it anyway.There’s wet laundry in your washing machine that you really should be hanging up to dry, but you aren’t.Your breath smells like a dog who swam in a polluted river hours ago and was never hosed down, but you have not brushed your teeth, and you probably won’t for several more hours.You accidentally got food in your hair, but instead of washing it, you just gave it a quick wipe on a tea towel.You plan to take, or have already taken, an afternoon nap.You plan to take, or have already taken, a second afternoon nap.There is a strange sound coming from somewhere in your house but you haven’t gone to find out what it is.You are desperate to pee but too lazy to go to the bathroom.You spilled tea on the floor and are just waiting for evaporation to take its course.You’ve watched one episode of Come Dine With Me.You’ve watched two episodes of Come Dine With Me.You’ve watched three episodes of Come Dine With Me.You’ve watched four episodes of Come Dine With Me.You’ve watched five episodes of Come Dine With Me.You’ve watched more than five episodes of Come Dine With Me.You haven’t done the washing up, but you’re pretty pleased with the fact that you’ve stacked all the dirty plates and put them next to the sink, to make the washing-up process easier at some future date.You ordered takeaway.You ordered takeaway for more than one meal, because YOLO.You suggested some friends come over to hang out just so you can casually ask them to pick up some milk along the way.You said you’d make them dinner but asked them to pick up the main ingredient on their way over.You actually asked them to pick up all the ingredients on their way over.When they got there, you just said, “Actually what if you made me dinner, you’re a better cook anyway.”You’re still in your pyjamas.You will go to bed later in the same pyjamas.You were too lazy to actually take this quiz.
How Lazy Are You Being Today?
Look at you, trying to make the rest of us look bad! While you may have had a slow start, your day isn't *fundamentally* lazy – you have at least seized a very small part of the day. Well done!
Your day, my friend, is truly, deeply lazy. You should take a moment to thank your friends and family for supporting you on a day as lazy as today. Where would you be without them?
Congratulations: You are well on your way to set a record for the laziest day of your entire life. Even when you were in your mother's womb, you acted less lazy than you have today. Bravo!
See, you thought you would be deemed the Laziest Person Living The Laziest Day In The History Of Lazy Days by ticking every single item on this quiz...but you know what? That's a really not-lazy thing to do. So surprise! You're not being lazy at all. Congratulations on your not-laziness, it must feel great.