Fallen asleep.Made your partner fall asleep.Stopped sex to check your phone.Stopped sex to check your partner's phone.Yawned.Deliberately avoided eye contact.Got a bit hungry and stopped for a snack.Stopped to make a nice cup of tea.Accidentally spilled a hot drink on your partner.Failed miserably at "talking dirty".Ruined an item of clothing in a non-sexy way.Farted once.Farted between one and 10 times.Farted more than 10 times.Said the wrong name.Shouted the wrong name.Revealed a tattoo of the wrong name.Accidentally elbowed your partner in the face.Accidentally kneed your partner in the groin.Thought about the plot of your favourite TV show.Thought about your ex-partner.Thought about your ex-partner's new partner.Peed the bed.Threw up a little.Put on wildly inappropriate music.Wondered if you were bad at sex.Squawked like a red-tailed hawk.Awkwardly asked your partner to be quiet.Cried.Got a bit...lost.Used teeth (because you read about it in Cosmo).Did literally anything you read about in Cosmo.Couldn't get it up.Couldn't get it in.Couldn't tell if it was up.Couldn't tell if it was in.Accidentally made out with your pillow.Accidentally made out with your own arm.Purposefully made out with your pillow or arm.Described something as "kinky" that you knew at heart wasn't at all kinky.Struggled to remove your top.Failed to remove a bra.Got trapped in skinny jeans.Just given up because you were trapped in skinny jeans.Kept your socks on.Smacked your head against the wall.Drooled on your partner's face.Fallen off the bed in a non-sexy way.Flung your partner out of bed in a non-sexy way.Got a nose bleed.Thought about dinner.Watched the telly over your partner's shoulder.Caught your partner watching the telly.Been denied a high five in the middle of the action.Completely fallen apart because you realized your pet was watching.Attempted to incorporate food in a way that you later regretted.Attempted to incorporate bondage in a way that you later regretted.Checked the time.Giggled at the wrong moment.Said "lol" while your partner orgasmed.Screamed your own name while orgasming.Added a literal notch to your bedpost after sex.Made an absolute catastrophe out of condom disposal.Finished and said, "Can't wait to tell the office about this!"Finished and never spoke a word to your partner again.Finished and immediately gotten out of bed to write a blog post.Finished and immediately gotten out of bed to update your spreadsheet.Finished and said, "I'm so, so sorry."Finished and not said "I'm so, so sorry" when you probably should have.
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