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How Well Do You Know "Love Actually", Actually?

Do you know the entire script, actually?

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  1. 1. What are the opening lines of the film?

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    "Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at JFK Airport."
    "Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Gatwick Airport."
    "Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport."
  2. 2. How does Billy Mack refer to his own record on Radio Watford?

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    "My festering turd of a record."
    "My festering cock of a record."
    "My bloody awful record."
    "My shitty-titty-shite of a record."
  3. 3. What does Mark's FIRST placard say?

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    Ssshh!
    Don't say anything.
    Say it's charity collectors.
    Say it's carol singers.
  4. 4. How does Billy Mack swear when he accidentally sings "Love Is All Around Us"?

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    "Fuck cock fuck cock fucking cocking up the arse."
    "Shit wank bugger cocking arse."
    "Fuck shit bugger head and hole."
    "Fuck wank bugger shitting arse head and hole."
  5. 5. Which of the following DOESN'T the prime minister mention in his speech about what makes Britain great?

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    Shakespeare
    Churchill
    The Beatles
    The Rolling Stones
    Sean Connery
    David Beckham's right foot
    David Beckham's left foot
  6. 6. What does Mia want for Christmas?

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    "All I want for Christmas is you."
    "Something shiny. Something sexy."
    "Anything, as long as it's from you."
    "Something I want. Something pretty."
  7. 7. What does Sam say to Joanna when airport security comes to get him?

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    "Oh Jesus, I'm screwed."
    "Oh Christ, it's the bobbies."
    "Oh Jesus, I gotta run."
    "Fuck the pigs."
  8. 8. What does Jamie's unfaithful girlfriend shout to his brother from the next room?

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    "Hurry up big brother, I'm naked and I want you before Jamie gets home."
    "Hurry up big boy, I'm naked and I want you at least once before Jamie gets home."
    "Hurry up big boy, I'm naked and I want you at least twice before Jamie gets home."
  9. 9. What DON'T the sexy Wisconsin ladies make Colin say in his British accent?

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    Bottle
    Water
    Straw
    Table
  10. 10. What does Natalie say to the prime minister when they first meet?

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    "My mum was sure I'd fuck up on the first day. Oh, shit!"
    "I did have an awful premonition that I was gonna fuck up on the first day. Oh, piss it!"
  11. 11. How does Aurelia accept Jamie's proposal?

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    "Yes, will to be my answer."
    "Yes, is being my answer."
    "Sure, why not."
    ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
  12. 12. What does Juliet say when she sees her wedding video?

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    "They're all of me."
    "You're obsessed with me."
    "You're in love with me."
    "I look well fit."
  13. 13. What does the prime minister sing when these little girls demand a carol?

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    "O Christmas Tree"
    "Good King Wenceslas"
    "Joy to the World"
    "While Shepherds Watched Their Flocks"
  14. 14. What does Natalie's mum say to the prime minister?

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    "The octopus costume's taken me months. Thank god he didn't get the part of the lobster."
    "The octopus costume's taken me months. Eight is a lot of legs, David."
  15. 15. What comes next? "Hi kids. Here's an important message from your Uncle Bill. Don't buy drugs..."

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    "Become a pop star and drink lots of whisky instead."
    "Become a pop star and have lots of sex instead."
    "Become a pop star and they give you them for free."
    "Become a pop star and people give you them after television appearances."
  16. 16. What does Karen say to Harry after the school play?

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    "Imagine your husband bought a gold necklace, and come Christmas gave it to somebody else... Would you wait around to find out if it's just a necklace, or if it's sex and a necklace, or if, worst of all, it's a necklace and love?"
    You have no idea what she says here, because you're always crying too loudly and snottily by this point in the film.

How Well Do You Know "Love Actually", Actually?

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