32 Hilarious Tweets About Being A Woman On The Internet

“Instead of a block option on Twitter, let’s have a ‘notify his mom’ button.”

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Sometimes I'll buy some crap online and be like this will fix my whole life

— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin)
8.

Behind every strong woman is 5 other strong women who proofread her email real quick when they had a second

— Gabby Noone (@twelveoclocke)
9.

"No more self-deprecating tweets," I whisper fatly.

— J.Beaner (@jeannerbeaner)
10.

MEDIA: "We can't believe Trump would tweet something so awful!!!" WOMEN OF THE INTERNET: *scrolls through mentions* "We can"

— Kate Spencer (@katespencer)
11.

*two women having a conversation* Man:

— Pokémanu (@ManuclearBomb)
12.

Stop tweeting about what real women are and are not. You're going to blow my secret that I'm a lizard creature zipped into a woman suit

— Legend of Chelda (@legendofchelda)
13.

Browsing Tinder like

— Bim Adewunmi (@bimadew)
14.

Cause of death: Drowned in all the answers to a rhetorical question she posted on the Internet.

— Kashana (@kashanacauley)
15.

Just found my filtered Facebook messages requests. And a new boyfriend, what a day.

— Flo Perry (@FloPerry)
16.

More ladies should leave internet comments on men's accomplishments like "he sucks as an astronaut but i'd sit on his face"

— dr. dalia ☥ (@DALIAMALEK)
17.

Everyone on Instagram has the exact same eyebrows and it's starting to feel like I've stumbled upon a fracture in the matrix 👀

— Heben Nigatu (@heavenrants)
18.

@voldemortsbicep i'm so sorry but this was truly perfect

— ktkins (@voldemortsbicep)
19.

Oh no I accidentally liked your picture from 2006 that isn't even online

— audrey farnsworth (@audipenny)
20.

me: [flirts with someone aggressively online] me: [meets them in person] u like food? haha how about dogs

— keely flaherty (@flahertykeely)
21.

Norman Rockwell's classic painting, "Free Speech on Twitter"

— Sam Barlow (@mrsambarlow)
22.

Dick pics are the human equivalent of a cat giving you a dead bird as a "gift"

— Rync (@Ryncasaurus)
23.

him: your single? why? me: you're*

— Dani Fernandez (@msdanifernandez)
24.

*Clicks post called "Simple Everyday Eye Makeup Look"* *Sees the look requires 9 steps* *Throws laptop across room as if at the patriarchy*

— Chloe Angyal (@ChloeAngyal)
25.

[cool person follows me] me: ok I gotta bring my A game now it's only good tweets from here me 5 mins later: horses r just big dogs ?

— treasure✨ (@imteddybless)
26.

HOW can you say I don't take men's feelings into consideration when I make such a special effort to spell "Wookiee" correctly online

— Patricia Lockwood (@TriciaLockwood)
27.

"Nipples killed my parents, and I'll be damned if anyone else should ever have to see those murderers again" -the founder of Instagram

— Jenny Jaffe (@jennyjaffe)
28.

Tinder but for gals in your area who'll come over and help with the weird zip on the back of your dress in the morning.

— Ailbhe Malone (@ailbhetross)
29.

Me: I feel like I was meant for this job! H: Instagram isn't a job Me: *rolling my eyes* Oh right, like it's just some sort of goddamn hobby

— Graceful AF (@graceful_asfuck)
30.

Thank holy hell for men on the internet or i wouldn't know what my number or inherent worth is!!!

— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin)
31.

Embarrassing old email addresses are the lower-back tattoos of the Internet age

— Alexandra Petri (@petridishes)
32.

MEN REPLYING TO WOMEN ONLINE

— Anthony (@butterwolf)

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Hannah Jewell is a senior staff writer for BuzzFeed News and is based in London.
 
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