1. The first time you try to put them in yourself.
Today can just be glasses day. Again.
2. Wearing your daily, weekly or monthly contacts for much, much longer than you're supposed to.
3. Putting on your glasses when you already have your contacts in.
OH GOD WHAT'S HAPPEN—oh.
4. Putting in contacts that don't quite fit.
Right, that's not getting in there.
5. Accidentally putting your contacts in inside out.
6. The menace of air conditioning.
7. The menace of sand.
8. The false hope of forgetting you're wearing contacts.
9. When they hurt for no reason whatsoever.
Wwwhhhhhhyyyyyyyyyyyyyy????
10. The rarely successful "blink away the pain" tactic.
Just keeping blinking. Blink until all is well.
11. Trying to fix a contact that has shifted out of place.
12. Trying to fix a contact that has folded in half.
Seriously, just keep blinking. Blinking always works. Always.
13. Dealing with peoples' reactions when you touch your eyes in public.
14. Dropping a lens and doing the crawl of shame.
15. Dropping a lens, losing it, and finding later that it has become a sad, shriveled shadow of its former self.
16. Dropping a lens and doing...this.
17. Losing a contact, and not knowing if it's in your eye or on the floor.
18. Dealing with end-of-day dryness.
Get it out get it out get it OUT!
19. Going out on the town, staying out too late, and making a desperate nighttime run to the shops for solution.
You have a cupboard full of once-used bottles of solution from nights like these.
20. The nights that you don't make it to the shops in time, so you come up with an alternative method of contact lens storage: soaking them in tap water.
21. Realizing the next morning why this was such a terrible idea.
22. Falling asleep with your contacts in and opening your eyes to find this.
23. All the fuss that comes with switching to one of these.
24. The blind terror of taking out your contacts before finding your glasses.
You will never, ever learn.
25. Reading a horrible news story about someone whose eyes were eaten by fungi because she wore her contacts for too long:
To be fair, she didn't clean them once in six months.
26. Still wearing contacts every day, though, cause they're kind of magical.
Ahhh, sweet vision.