1. The first time you try to put them in yourself.
Today can just be glasses day. Again.
2. Wearing your daily, weekly or monthly contacts for much, much longer than you’re supposed to.
Your optometrist is probably just part of a plot to sell you more contacts than you really need anyway.
3. Putting on your glasses when you already have your contacts in.
OH GOD WHAT’S HAPPEN—oh.
4. Putting in contacts that don’t quite fit.
Right, that’s not getting in there.
9. When they hurt for no reason whatsoever.
10. The rarely successful “blink away the pain” tactic.
Just keeping blinking. Blink until all is well.
12. Trying to fix a contact that has folded in half.
Seriously, just keep blinking. Blinking always works. Always.
18. Dealing with end-of-day dryness.
Get it out get it out get it OUT!
19. Going out on the town, staying out too late, and making a desperate nighttime run to the shops for solution.
You have a cupboard full of once-used bottles of solution from nights like these.
24. The blind terror of taking out your contacts before finding your glasses.
You will never, ever learn.
25. Reading a horrible news story about someone whose eyes were eaten by fungi because she wore her contacts for too long:
To be fair, she didn’t clean them once in six months.
26. Still wearing contacts every day, though, cause they’re kind of magical.
Ahhh, sweet vision.