Brent isn't like the other guys, because Brent isn't afraid to call himself a feminist. It's not easy for a guy to call himself a feminist, so it's only reasonable for him to expect a quick blow job in return.

Toby made you breakfast, because he understands that men should share an equal amount of household labour. He's not asking for anything in return, other than a rollicking blow job.

Brandon just said he believes the gender pay gap is real. If that doesn't deserve a tremendous beej, what does?

Tony is a great listener, but he's a bit confused why YOU won't listen to HIM for once, especially when he explains why he deserves an invigorating session of fellatio for believing in the equality of men and women.

Jason says he's a feminist on his Tinder profile. He didn't do it for a blow job, of course. However, he'd be pretty disappointed if you didn't tenderly accept his manhood into your mouth.

Ben enjoys reading bell hooks in coffee shops. He'd be lying if he said that wasn't worth a shower beej.

Ryan will sometimes spend the afternoon calling out sexist language on Twitter. He doesn't do it for the blow jobs, but he'd complain if he didn't get one after being so brave.

Daniel wears a T-shirt that says "stay woke" so you know that you're safe with him, that he respects you as a human being, and that he's ready and willing for an appreciative blowie or two.

Mark is upset because he told you he was a feminist but you still won't gratefully suck him off. It doesn't make sense: He's a really good guy. He did everything right. He didn't HAVE to say he believes in the equality of the sexes. Why would you do this to him?

Now poor Mark is wondering why he ever called himself a feminist at all.