We asked women of the BuzzFeed Community to share the first time they remember being objectified. Hundreds of brave women shared their difficult and devastating stories. Stories like these should not exist, let alone be so commonplace. The subject matter throughout this post is very upsetting, so please proceed with caution.
1. "My school was very religious and had a strict uniform dress code. We wore sweatpants on the days we had P.E. The pants were supposed to be pretty baggy, but I have thick thighs and a pretty big butt, so the pants were a little fitted, but not really. If I sized up, then they'd fall down and be way too long for me. Well, the principal told me that I had to get bigger pants (which weren’t cheap) because my religion teacher complained I was 'provoking' the boys in my class. I told them that I couldn't buy new pants and then pointed out that if the guys wore tight pants or shirts, nobody would complain. They straight-up told me that girls don’t get aroused by guys the way guys do by girls. Their faces were priceless when I told them I do get aroused by guys."
"I got suspended, and then they rounded the girls up and gave us a long ass seminar on abstinence and how we had to save ourselves until marriage."
2. "I was 7. It was summer in California and my sister (who was four years older) and I were latchkey kids, left to our own devices while our parents went to work. We would frequently have water wars with the other neighborhood kids. Well, my summer outfit that year was shorts and a tank top over my swimsuit, so when I got wet, it was no big deal. I fell in the mud and took my shirt off, exposing just the top of my suit, then kept on playing. A neighbor, Richard, who was usually nice to all the kids and let us use his hose for the 'wars' whistled me over to his garage and said, 'Damn girl, I didn't know you had a body like that! You're going to be a beauty like your mama once your tits fill in.'"
3. "One of the first places I was ever sexually harassed was church camp when I was 12. Then, when I was 14, our new youth pastor sexually assaulted me. I tried to tell people, but the senior pastor made me sit and copy Bible verses about modesty and being a proper 'woman of God.' He said that if I hadn't 'tempted a grown man,' I wouldn't have had to suffer the consequences. So yeah, now I'm an atheist."
4. "I was in middle school and was waiting for the bus when an older man asked me how old I was. I told him I was 12. He said, 'You’re shaped wayyy older than 12,' while miming an hourglass shape with his hands. I never went back to that bus stop again, even though it meant I had to walk further."
5. "I was 11. I had missed time from school (a private Christian academy) due to my grandfather passing away. When I came back to school, there was a rumor going around that I had missed school because I had swallowed so much cum, I had to have my stomach pumped. I didn't even know what cum was. Teachers and the pastor were aware of the rumors. Absolutely NOTHING was ever done to the guys who started the rumor. I was ditched by my best friends because they were 'not comfortable with the ungodly image that I was portraying.' I never had another friend at that school. Eventually, I was asked to leave by the school and church leadership because I wasn't the 'type of child' that was welcome."
6. "Around age 13 or so, I inherited one of my mom's hand-me-down shirts. I loved it because it was my favorite color. Fast forward to my debut in my 'new' shirt — a close family member told me, 'You fill that out almost as well as your mom.'"
7. "When I was around 9 or 10 years old, my family and I were staying at a hotel. My dad and I went out to pick up some takeout while my mom and brother stayed in the hotel room. On the way up to our room, a man got on the elevator with us. He nodded toward me with a smile on his face and said, 'Nice one, man,' to my dad, to which my dad responded, 'That’s my fucking daughter.' I didn’t know at the time what he was insinuating, but now it makes my skin crawl."
8. "I was 8 years old and in a lake town when I was told I had to leave a store because I was dressed too 'sensually' and making men uncomfortable. That was the exact word used. I was wearing a high-necked mermaid bathing suit, a normal, flowy cover-up, and sandals. They had no rule against bathing suits, and many men were wearing no shoes and just bathing suits. My mother was told I had to leave, as I was a distraction to customers. Then, they reprimanded her for 'letting her daughter attract men.' I WAS 8. I was a child, but I was punished for some degrading rule that wasn’t applied to anyone except for me, and probably any woman or girl who entered and was dressed for spending time at the lake."
9. "When I was 12, a group of guys in my class had a contest to see who could grab/slap my ass the most. It was the first time I ever saw myself as a sexual object. That same year, I had a stranger pull up beside me in a car while I was walking to work, and offer me $5 for a lap dance. I didn't even know what that was at the time, I just knew it scared me
—Gabrielle P., Facebook
10. "I was super sheltered when I was 13, but I already had huge boobs and a huge ass. I also wore a lot of skirts and dresses. One day at the public library, I was bent over a table when a man around 40 came up and grabbed my ass and told me I was a 'sin' for wearing a skirt so short."
11. "When I was about 9, I was swimming with my big brother and male neighbor, both of whom were two years older than me. My brother went down the water slide, leaving me alone with our neighbor for a few minutes. My neighbor asked me if he could see me naked. I vividly remember feeling shocked, scared, disgusted, and confused. I didn't say anything; I just jumped down the slide and asked my brother if we could go home. For years I convinced myself that it never happened and I must have imagined it because I didn't want to be the girl who caused trouble."
12. "When I was in middle school, one of my dad's friends told me I was 'developing nicely.' Since my dad was a single father, his friends would help him with picking us up/dropping us off places. I didn't tell him why, but I told my dad I never wanted that particular friend to pick me up or drop me off again. Luckily my dad isn't friends with him anymore, so I never have to see him again."
13. "I developed early and was the first girl in my class that had to start wearing bras (and not just sports bras) in fourth grade. I was already super self-conscious for having a chest at only 10 years old. One day on the bus ride home, several of the boys laughed and commented on how my boobs bounced up and down whenever the bus hit a bum or pothole. It was the first time I felt degraded and humiliated, but it wouldn't be the last."
14. "My brother is four years older than me, and while growing up, I was consistently told that I had to dress in a way that didn't accentuate my 'burgeoning bust line' so that I didn't give his friends (or anyone else) the idea that I was attractive. He and his friends also scared the entire (albeit very small) town off from even speaking to me. I struggled with self-esteem when every boy I liked was too scared to even look at me, but I didn't know why until I got older and they all told me they were protecting me. Thanks for the concern, but that does a number on a girl's perception of herself."
15. "My cousin's husband shoved his tongue down my throat when I was 14. He then told me he'd been wanting to do that since he met me. He met me at my 10th birthday party."
16. "When I was 14, I went into a Wawa to get a slushee while my mom was waiting out in the car. I was wearing a tank top and jean shorts. A man who looked to be about 40 looked me up and down and said, 'Damn, you got a boyfriend?' I walked as fast as I could the nearest female cashier, paid, and booked it out of the store."
17. "I remember being 13 at my friend's house. We were in her backyard sunbathing and had a little kiddie pool set up. A guy looked over his fence and told me how good I looked and asked how old I was. When I said, 'Uhhhh, 13,' he yelled for his friend to come look at me too and told him how old I was."
—Brooke H., Facebook
18. Finally: "I was 12, and I was walking home from school. Two grown men (in their 30s) were coming towards me. One of them licked his lips, whistled, and said, 'Hey beauty.' His friend told him to stop and that I was just a kid. It was horrible. I was so scared."
Women, if you have a story you are comfortable sharing, leave a comment. You are not alone.
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.