We asked members of the BuzzFeed Community to tell us what they would go back and change about their wedding day if they could. Their responses ranged from small fixes to major wedding rewrites. Here's what they had to say:
1. "I got married in the Mormon temple. The religion pushes eternal families (as long as you meet certain criteria), and being married in the temple is a big deal. My husband and I are no longer a part of this church, and whenever I see wedding pictures of us, I think of all the ways I want a redo. First, my wedding dress had to be modest, and I had to add sleeves and extra fabric to cover my cleavage. I hated how it looked. My fantasy dress is definitely a much more scandalous, sleeveless gown. Secondly, I would not want to have our wedding in a Mormon temple. Only certain people who are deemed 'worthy' by the church can attend the temple wedding. Most of my siblings and my sister-in-law couldn't even see us get married. I regret them not witnessing the special day.
"Finally, I wish I could redo the feelings that I had on my wedding day. There was so much pressure that went along with the Mormon religion, and I wish I could have focused more on being a bride, instead of a righteous daughter of God."
—Anonymous
2. "I would have MONITORED THE CAKE CUTTER. The caterers cut the cake for us, and I guess they assumed the piece we cut for us was the size we wanted them to cut for everyone?? The slices were almost paper thin, and we didn't realize it until the night was over. I was so embarrassed. I'm worried my guests thought I was cheap/stingy, and they probably felt embarrassed because they didn't want to be seen going up for more cake. The cake was meant for 100 people. We had 80 at the wedding, and we went home with the ENTIRE BOTTOM TIER OF THE CAKE. My family, my sister's boyfriend, and my mom's work all ate cake for DAYS."
3. "Everything about my wedding was great, except my photographer. I hired a friend who was just an amateur, but she came recommended. She had nice equipment and seemed to know what she was doing during the ceremony and reception. The pictures told a different story. She had no eye for composition, and apparently had no idea how to use her camera either. The majority of the pictures were slightly blurry or over-exposed. I ended up with a handful of decent pictures. I really wish I’d hired a professional wedding photographer."
4. "I wish I would have journaled about the big day (and honeymoon). There were so many tiny moments throughout with friends, family, and each other that I think about. As the years pass, I’ve begun to lose some of those small details. Not only would I enjoy reminiscing, but being able to share those with our children would be amazing. In helping our parents with their recent move, they found their journals and notes of their trips. It was a blast hearing about their memories from 40 years ago!"
—Anonymous
5. "My maid of honor asked if she could wear a different color than the color I had chosen for the bridal party because the style of the dress she wanted was very flattering on her, but didn't come in the right color. It looked great on her, it's true, but I wish I had insisted on her getting another dress in the color I wanted. She claimed she was having a hard time finding dresses in my preferred color, but I think she had just put off finding her dress until the last minute and wanted an easy way out of it. She ended up mismatching everyone else in the party, including the best man, and it looks super awkward in all of our pictures."
—Anonymous
6. "I frequently crowdsourced opinions from friends and family while planning in an attempt to please everyone. It’s easy to lose yourself in your own wedding if you open it up to others' opinions. I look back on some of the decisions I made and wish I had stuck to my guns. I would've also worn more comfortable shoes."
7. "I wish I had stood up to my mom and NOT invited my aunt (her sister). My mom argued that my aunt HAD to be there to take care of my grandma, even though I had invited a cousin and his partner to assist my grandma. My aunt jumped in on photos uninvited, showed up TWO HOURS EARLY for the reception, and was trying to take desserts off the table as the baker was setting up. Our wedding planner had to jump in and shoo her off! She also invited her husband to the reception at the last minute, explaining she would let him have her dinner and seat and she would just order delivery and stand at the back. Again, our wedding planner stepped in and turned him away at the door. When my aunt showed up at my brother’s baby shower a year later, I was called selfish and bitchy. My mom still doesn’t understand boundaries."
—Anonymous
8. "I wouldn't have had the big church wedding. It was super stressful, I didn't sleep well the night before, I bought the traditional wedding dress (when I wanted something a little more fun), and after 20 years, I don't remember much of it or who was there. My husband agrees. We should have just gotten married at the courthouse and had a huge party. All I wanted was the dress, the cake, and the man. I got all three, but I would have done it completely differently."
9. "I had six bridesmaids. What a big mistake. I’m not close to three of them anymore, two are my sisters-in-law, and one was a last-minute addition who turned out to be my longest running friend. I should’ve just had my two sisters-in-law and called it a day. Relationships change."
10. "I wish I didn’t agree to the garter toss. It was so embarrassing."
11. "I wouldn’t have a first dance, to be honest. The whole point is to have everyone dancing, so why make everyone stare at only two people?"
12. "I would go back and just elope in the Bahamas. Whoever could come: great! If not: Too bad, and we’ll see you when we get back. I caved because of family saying it was selfish and that they wouldn’t be able to come if it was so far away. Rather than do what we wanted, we listened to everyone else. We had a great ceremony and reception, but it was too much stress."
13. "I wish we would have waited a little longer and hired a wedding coordinator. We were supposed to have a big wedding, but COVID came along, so we had to cancel. I always wanted a small wedding (the big one was for the parents), so we ended up having a small wedding of 15 at a lovely boutique hotel. I’m happy with the way my wedding turned out, but because we had such a small guest count, we did a three-hour elopement package, so we didn’t think we needed a coordinator. We just had the ceremony, cocktail hour, and dinner. This kind of rushed everything on the day-of, and we didn’t get as many photos as we would have liked. I feel like waiting would have allowed us to plan more and take our time and really enjoy the day."
14. "I would've gotten a different dress. The one I had didn’t fit correctly because the lady at the bridal shop didn’t measure me correctly and convinced me to get it cut three inches shorter, so my dress was too small and too short. I would've had fewer guests. We didn’t have a big wedding, but looking back, I don’t remember the vast majority of the people who were there, and I wish it would have just been close family and a few friends. Most importantly, I would've had a different groom! LOL."
15. "I would change everything. Less wedding party, less church, less formal, less expensive, less planned, and no 'traditional' crap like the garter toss, first dance, cake cutting, etc. I would want more time with friends — eating, drinking, and having fun!"
16. "I got TIRED of my bridesmaids fighting over what their dresses should be like, and I couldn't afford to buy brand-new ones for all of them. I should have just insisted they wear what they wanted to. My husband told his groomsmen, 'Dark suits with ties.' How come I couldn't have just had something like that? I'm not the insistent sort, so my mom, in-laws, relatives, and friends were all over the place and constantly blabbing/fighting about what 'ought' to be in my wedding. I would go back in time and be more forceful and assertive and stop all the bickering and demands."
17. "I wouldn’t have done it at all. Caving in to the pressure of marrying someone I didn’t want to marry, let alone being married at all, was one of the biggest mistakes of my life. I’ve been happily divorced for 10 years, and I’ll never marry again. I don’t want to be married. I don’t have to get married."
18. "I wish I hadn't eloped. I'm sad I didn't get to wear a gorgeous dress and have the whole wedding experience. I have the best husband ever, but ugh, why did I suggest getting married on my lunch break?"
—Anonymous
19. "I would have picked my cousin to be my maid of honor. My cousin was a huge help and was super supportive. The only reason I didn’t choose her was because my friend assigned herself the role. She also ended up crying to my mom because she wasn’t getting any attention. She hemmed her own dress, which ended up being uneven and had threads coming off of it."
—Anonymous
20. "I wish I could've not invited my mother-in-law. That woman is horrible, and she wore white in spite."
—Anonymous
21. "I would change everything. My husband and I had a whirlwind romance and admittedly moved very quickly. As a result, we received negative comments from his family, and we almost broke up over it. We ended up deciding not to have a wedding, and eloped at a small, kind of cheesy 'chapel' instead with just my children present. No dress, no cake, and just a few blurry pictures taken on my phone. We thought about maybe having a reception later in the future once things settled down family-wise, but then, the pandemic hit, and that thought immediately went out the window.
"It has been almost three years, our marriage is wonderful, and our relationship with his family is fine now, but I miss that we didn't have any kind of wedding or reception. I wish we had gone forward with what we wanted to do and celebrated our happiness instead of letting others ruin it for us."
—Anonymous
22. "After being given the option of cash instead of a big wedding, I stupidly opted for the blowout shindig. Spent 120K on a four-hour event for 250 people to get drunk and eat mediocre food. At the time, it was great, but looking back, it was so ostentatious, and it’s downright nauseating to think of what even a fraction of that money could have been used for. We’ve been happily married for 15 years and have three beautiful kids, but having spent all that money on one day haunts me. Marriage is what you make it. Fortunately, we are happy, but it’s because we work at it every day. It’s certainly not because we spent boatloads of unnecessary money on one ridiculous day."
—Anonymous
23. "I wouldn't have let my mother invite all of her friends, coworkers, and extended relatives. She was paying for it, but it was the one special time for me to share with my husband and all of our friends. In addition, one of the extended relatives decided to join the family photos. I had never talked to this lady before in my life. She ended up standing dead center behind me as the bride, not looking at the camera, and wearing a very bright pink outfit. My wedding colors were teal and brown, so she definitely stood out in all the wrong ways."
—Anonymous
24. "Our wedding was 10.5 years ago, and the recession was still going. Looking back, even though our cake was great, I would have had a bakery make it. I also would have splurged for an MC at the reception. My uncle did a great job, but I didn’t even think about it until after he was already doing it. Last thing: I would have asked all the family to stay for pictures BEFORE the wedding. We had family leave the reception and didn’t get those pictures, and I really wanted them."
—Anonymous
25. "I would not marry the groom. If your partner tries to plan everything about the wedding and steamrolls over every idea you have, they will do the same thing in the marriage. Watch how they act during the planning stage, and if they make the wedding all about them, run!"
—Anonymous
26. "Change of venue! We decided on our venue sight unseen based off the recommendation of my stepmother. Our first time seeing the venue was after we paid for it, and ON our wedding day. Needless to say, my husband was completely pissed at the lack of space and accommodations for us and the wedding party. While he and his groomsmen got dressed at our hotel offsite, the bridesmaids and I had to get dressed at the tanning salon next door! Imagine me, the bride, and my eight bridesmaids (yes, I know that’s a lot, and yes, I’m still friends with them all!) walking damn near single-file across the parking lot to the venue for the ceremony!"
—Anonymous
27. "I cringe every time I think of my wedding 35 years ago. If I could do it over, I would not have been so cheap. I insisted on paying for the wedding myself. We had no DJ, no dancing, and my brother was the photographer. We had skimpy hors d’oeuvres instead of a meal and a cash bar. It is embarrassing to imagine what my guests were thinking. My dad ended up paying the restaurant to bring out more food and drinks. What was I thinking?! So lame and ashamed!"
—Anonymous
28. "I would have called it off. As I was putting my wedding dress on with my bridesmaid, I was holding back tears. Then, I was miserable walking down the aisle because I no longer wanted to marry this person. But, some guests had flown to be there, and I thought about all the years we had spent together already, so I felt I had no choice but to go through with it. Fast forward: Three children later, and we are divorced."
—Anonymous
29. "I would have actually TOLD people about my wedding. My husband, who was with me for eight years before our marriage, thought it was nobody's business. We were married in our living room the day after I had a miscarriage. It was the only day I didn't have medical insurance, so yeah, we got married so I'd be covered from then on. After our ceremony, with only witnesses and my mom and sister, my husband went to work. My 'wedding reception' was dinner at a burger joint with my family. The best man told everyone at work (my hubs worked with him), and they all took up a collection for a nice dinner and gave us a card. Hubby was mad. He said it was nobody's business, like he was ashamed of me or something."
—Anonymous
30. "My wedding was 45 years ago, but I wish we would have had the ceremony in the afternoon instead of 8:00 p.m. It felt rushed, and most people left right after the ceremony instead of staying for the reception. Those who did go to the reception were a bit disappointed because we only served light hors d’oeuvres and there was a cash bar."
—Anonymous
31. "I’d change the husband! Kidding. I chose to have my wedding dress tailored by a seamstress outside the bridal salon I purchased it from. A friend of mine had recently gotten married, and she recommended this person's services since she knew that the bridal salon’s alteration fees were pricy, and they were. Since I saw the seamstress’s work on my friend's wedding dress, I decided to go with her. Worst decision. I didn’t like how it turned out. It wasn’t horrible, but it definitely didn’t do the dress justice. It’s such a shame because the dress was absolutely gorgeous and my dream dress. I totally regret not having it altered at the bridal salon."
—Anonymous
32. "My dress. I was forced to wear a puffy, white dress which had a bow. I cried on the day of the wedding because I hated the dress so much. The only silver lining was that my reception dress was exactly what I wanted, and that's because everyone was so busy focusing on the wedding dress that they didn't give much thought to the reception dress."
—Anonymous
33. "I wouldn't get married on a major holiday. My husband's parents were married on Christmas Eve, and it was his favorite holiday, so he wanted to do the same. That was a Sunday, and the Catholic church frowns on weddings on that day, but the priest offered to marry us on Christmas Day. It made participation more onerous for out-of-state family, and, worst of all, after my husband died, it made every Christmas a day of mourning, which my family never understood. Trying to hide the sadness and loss of our days together so everyone else can enjoy their holiday makes everything so much harder for me. I hate Christmas now."
—Anonymous
34. Finally: "Honestly, if I could do it all over again, I would not get married. I was the one to propose (as the woman). Our entire wedding was a budget wedding that I planned entirely by myself. No one helped me plan it, not even my fiancé/husband. That should have been a sign, but I was too focused on what I wanted to see rather than what was in front of me. A decade later, I’m still doing most things in our marriage alone. If I wanted a partner and a teammate, I majorly failed. I’m lonelier than ever now that I’m doing most of the parenting alone, too."
—Anonymous
If you could go back in time and change something (or many things) about your wedding, what would you tweak and why? Tell us in the comments!
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.