1. "I ran into a guy from high school years after graduation and he invited me to meet up with him and some of our other friends who I had lost contact with. Well, when I got to the restaurant, there was nobody else there, just him. Yup, I was ambushed into an unwanted date. To make it worse, he had told the wait staff we were on a date and to take their time. TWO HOURS LATER, I was finally able to leave. He walked me to my car, even though I asked him not to, and when I went to get in, he blocked me and leaned in for a kiss, which I was not down for at all. It was a dark parking lot and there was nobody around. Super sketchy. Whelp, something at dinner did not agree with him. I turned my head to the side and went for a friendly hug instead of his attempted kiss, and his bowels UNLOADED. It was the loudest and gnarliest fart I have ever heard."
"It happened the second the hug commenced and he didn’t let go until the fart was done. THEN, he tried to kiss me again. I deflected into another awkward hug, AND HE FARTED AGAIN. All in all, it was at least 45 seconds of combined ass blast. In the end, he made eye contact and said, 'Let’s do this again.' Hard pass."
2. "I talked to a guy on a dating app and we met at a local restaurant. When he got out of his car, I saw that he was clearly at least 15 years older than his profile picture. But, he seemed nice, so I stayed. Big mistake. His table manners were awful. Then, during conversation, while telling me about his family, he said, 'I’m the only married one out of all my siblings.' I waited for him to realize the slip-up. He didn’t. So, I said, 'Married?' I then looked at his ring finger and could see the outline from his band. He tried to hide his hand under the table. When he got up to go to the restroom, I called the server over, paid for my dinner, and quickly finished my meal. By the time he got back, I was ready to go. I said a quick goodbye and left."
3. "During my husband’s single days, he used a dating website and went on his worst date ever. The girl agreed to meet up with him but asked if she could bring her friends along. My husband agreed, and when he picked her up for the date, he was shocked to find out that her 'friends' were actually her parents. Bless his heart. He still went out to dinner with her while her parents sat at a separate table. There wasn’t a second date, which was lucky for me because I snatched him up a few years later."
4. "I was hanging out with a guy I met through a mutual friend. We got ice cream and went back to sit in his car to listen to music while we ate it. He shared his taste in music with me while rubbing my head and playing with my hair. I didn't quite know how to feel, but I figured he was trying to be romantic. Not too long after this, he got to the bottom of his ice cream cone (the kind with the chocolate on the inside) and said, 'This is your asshole.' He then tried to show off his rimming skills I guess. Maybe he thought the chocolate would be cute!? :/ I'm cringing just typing this out. Not a good memory."
5. "After knowing each other for about an hour, he told me he had never wanted kids before, but the moment we met, he 'felt it biologically.' Then he told me he wanted to be my son’s step-father as well."
6. "It wasn’t a date-date to me, but it was to him. He was a friend of my cousin's, so we were sort of friends as well. He talked non-stop about his ex-fiancée (she was his fourth fiancée) and got really angry when I mentioned one of my exes briefly, even though it was relevant to our conversation. That was when I decided it was 100% NOT going to lead anywhere. After a few more days of him blowing up my phone with texts and me not being proactive with replies, I decided ghosting was not the way to go and told him outright I was not interested in him. I sent him a detailed message, as I did not want to phone him and make him think calling was an option. He knew I finished work at 10:00 p.m., and as it turned from 9:59 to 10:00 p.m, the first message came through on WhatsApp."
"I ignored it, so he sent it as a text, then as a Facebook message. At 10:15, he called my phone, called through WhatsApp, and called on Facebook. More texts came in at 10:20. Then, at 10:30, there were more calls. I put my phone on airplane mode so I could eat, shower, and watch my favorite show in peace. I even knocked Wi-Fi and Bluetooth off. I switched it all back on at midnight to set my alarm for the next day. I had 17 missed call alerts, 35 texts, 40 WhatsApp messages, 20 odd Facebook messages, and 10+ WhatsApp calls all between 10:30 and midnight. At 12:05 I got another text, so I blocked him. The next day, he drove up and down the road outside of my workplace. My work had a massive window and I could see. He used his own car, his mom's, his dad's, and his sister's. This went on for WEEKS. All of it took place July–September, but then he was married to someone else by the end of the year."
7. "I was set up on a blind date for the first (and last) time by an old friend ages ago. When the date got to my house to pick me up, I greeted him at the door and told him to come in while I threw my shoes on. I came back just in time to see him getting in his car and leaving. When my friend asked him WTF, he said I was too sweet for him. Like first of all, WTF does that even mean? Second, how the fuck did he figure that out from the two sentences said between us?!"
8. "I went on a Tinder date to the movies when I was 18. He picked me up in his truck and played terrible, loud, depressing music. In the theater, he was on his phone swiping through Tinder the whole time, then leaned over and told me that I was lucky to be out with him because all those other girls wanted to be with him. YIKES. My roommate picked me up when I excused myself to the bathroom."
9. “'How do you feel about cannibalism?' Followed that up by asking me if I’d ever eat a human."
10. "I met a girl at work and we decided to get drinks the next night. She brought her mom and aunt to meet me, FaceTimed her kid to introduce me, started freestyling, then told me how her baby daddy stabbed the last guy she dated."
11. "I was asked out by a guy that used to be a customer at a coffee shop I worked at. He always seemed nice enough. For our first date, we went to a nice restaurant and he would not stop talking about how nice my eyes were and said, 'I’d love to take your eyes and just put them in a jar on my bedside table.' I definitely made an excuse to leave and got the hell out of there."
12. "Three months after a boob job, I decided to go on my first date after fully recovering and feeling good about myself. I’d only gone up two sizes to a modest C cup, and I wore a tank top and jeans (nothing too revealing). My date was nice, but drank neat whiskey. After about four of those, he told me to pull up my top because a guy was looking at me. He then leaned over and pulled it up aggressively himself. We left and went to a bar, but I wanted to leave. He was being overly touchy, kept pulling at my clothes to cover me, and told me to keep my jacket on inside. I went to the bathroom and a security guard followed me and asked if I was okay."
"I said I wanted to leave but didn’t want him to walk me to the station. Two minutes later, the security guard came back with a girl he knew in the bar, introduced us, and told me to say I knew her from uni and leave with her and her friends. I walked out of the bathroom with her, introduced her to my date, then basically grabbed my bag, said I was going outside to smoke and left him. I ended up making a best friend for life. It’s been seven years since that happened and we are thick as thieves and love telling the story of how we know each other."
13. "One time I went on a date with this guy I'd known since high school, and I was already nervous because he was a jerk in high school. When he picked me up, he mentioned how nice I looked and talked about how much I was going to love the restaurant we were going to. It ended up being amazing, but then he got a call from a weird number, went outside, and left me there for about five minutes. Then, he came back and said he needed to confess that he actually had 15 girlfriends because one was not enough. I was completely over the date at that point and said we needed the check. He said he would cover for me, but first he needed to use the bathroom. He actually left and I had to pay for everything."
"Last week, he called me saying how much he missed me and asked me to meet him at a coffee bar to talk about our date from last year. It turned out it was a prank and he didn't show up to meet. So, yeah."
14. "I am bisexual, and recently went on a date with a guy who asked me how my experiences differed between dating men and women. I said that with men, there's a strong element of fear, and unfortunately I have to be aware of how wrong things could go. He then proceeded to make jokes about how he was going to chop me up into little pieces for the rest of the date."
15. "In college, I was set up with a friend of a friend. We had dinner, and he insisted on paying. Since it was a set-up, I felt better about splitting the tab, but since it seemed important to him, I let him pay. Afterward, we went to get coffee at the shop where I worked. I ordered for us because I had my employee discount, and when he tried to pay the $4 cost, I said, 'I have to pay to get my discount.' He grudgingly backed down, but when I brought over our drinks, he handed me a $5 bill to reimburse me. 'No, it’s on me!' I insisted, but he put the money on the table and said he’d leave it there if I didn’t take it. His reason? 'Men wear pants and women wear skirts and that’s just how it is.' There was not a second date, though I did have to chat with him at my friend’s wedding years later."
16. "I was newly single after a bad breakup and wanted to date a bit. While we were at dinner, I mentioned that I was not really into PDA. I am very affectionate, but not in public. As we were heading to the car to go to the next place, he kissed me. That was fine. It was nice. We got to the next place — an afterparty where I knew a lot of people — and he kept wanting to make out with me. I told him I did not like making out in public, ESPECIALLY in front of all these people I knew. But, he kept trying make out with me. I couldn't wait to get out of there and get to my car."
17. "I went on a date in college with a guy in my apartment complex. He called me Laura the whole time, but my name is Lisa. And, he 'forgot' his wallet after ordering the most expensive item on the menu and several drinks. There was not a second date and it was super awkward seeing him at the community pool all summer."
18. "I went out with the cousin of a good friend of mine. My friend hyped his cousin up so much and said he really thought we would hit it off, so I was low-key excited about it. We went to a hookah bar and he got absolutely wasted. He kept touching me and getting really close to my face to talk. I was so uncomfortable and wanted to leave, but didn't know how to go about it. He even asked if he could come back to my place to smoke, but I knew he wanted it to lead to other things, so I tapped out. My friend apologized and said that his cousin gets like that when he drinks too much. I was so angry! A warning would've been nice before I was groped all night."
19. "Dead seriously he asked me, 'Do you want to summon a demon with me sometime?' and looked genuinely hurt and perplexed when I said no."
20. "I went out with a guy last year who was 10 years older than me. First red flag: We met at McDonald’s. Second red flag: When I walked up to him, he already had food on the table. I ended up paying for my own food and never went out with him again."
21. "I went on a Tinder date with a guy and mentioned my friend by name. She has an uncommon name, and it turned out he had been going out with her regularly. Then he said, 'It’s only weird if you make it weird.' No! It’s weird! They weren’t exclusive, but that doesn’t mean it’s not weird."
22. "I went on a date with someone I met on Bumble. He talked about himself way too much and tried to 'mansplain' my job to me. He talked about his ex a lot, too! At the end of the date, the check came and he wanted to split it. I actually have no issues with splitting the check on the second date, but I feel like a guy should want to impress a girl on the first date. He also ordered an expensive meal and mixed drink while I ordered a veggie burger and a beer. Once my card came back, I bolted out of there."
23. "I had a date with a guy who seemed nice and down-to-earth. Toward the end of our date, he stated he wanted me to change my major to education so I could homeschool 'our' children!!! There was no second date."
24. "When I was about 18 years old, I met a guy at a mutual friend's party and we hit it off pretty well. He was fresh out of a serious relationship though, which should have been my first red flag, but I was young and naive and he seemed nice, so I decided to give it a try when he asked me out. We went to the movies for our date. During the movie, he proceeded to literally scoop me out of my seat and put me on his lap not once, not twice, but THREE TIMES. I would awkwardly scoot back over to my seat, and he would continue to try and tickle me or hold me in some weird way between these scoopings. It was WAY too much and super creepy. He drove me home afterward (this is when I learned that I should always drive myself to first dates) and I barely waited for the car to stop before getting out and running back into my house. He texted me shortly after calling me 'his oyster.' I ended up blocking his number and there was no second date."
25. "I told this guy I played the piano, and half an hour later he said: 'If I wanted you to always remember me, I'd break your ring fingers. You know, 'cause they don't heal well and then you'd always think of me while playing.' Safe to say, I left the restaurant fairly quickly."
26. "I went out with a girl one night, and after dinner, she drove me up into the mountains (I was new to the area). After a while, when there were no more lights, she started talking about serial killers. I still remember her saying, 'I used to think about getting away with stuff like that sometimes.'"
27. Finally: "Mid-date, he placed his hand on my stomach and said, 'My son will grow here.'"
YIIIKES. Absolutely not. Oof. Have you ever endured a first date that rivals these horror stories? What happened?? How did you make it out??? Tell us in the comments!
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.