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25 Women Are Revealing The Weirdest Ways Men Have Ruined First Dates, And I'm Laughing Through My Tears

"He ended up grabbing my face and licking my cheek."

Though dating is meant to be fun, it can often be pretty stressful and taxing. Nothing is worse than going on a first date and quickly realizing it's a huge bust.

unhappy couple on a first date
Jamie Grill / Getty Images/Tetra images RF

A couple Reddit threads have popped up that asked women to share things men do on first dates that kill the whole date, or to share reasons why men haven't made it to a second date. The responses left me flummoxed, flabbergasted, and absolutely fuming. Here are some of the wildest ones:

1. "I had a guy try to make me lie to him and tell him that girls don't poop because he said it 'ruined his time down there.'"

u/hannahjuettner

2. "We went for a walk downtown and walked by a women’s rights monument and he told me he didn’t believe in it. I asked, 'You don’t believe in women’s rights?' and he said women were ruining this country. I promptly did a speed walk to a public spot so I could ditch his ass."

3. "I made a nerdy joke that didn't quite land. He looked at me and said, 'That was lame. You're lame. Be funny, or I'm leaving.' Uhhh, OK."

u/lindseymarieee

4. "I went on a date a few weeks ago and he gave me a ride home, but he took me on a detour to show me his ex's house. Pleased to say that was the only date he got from me."

5. "He saw a painting of a partially nude mermaid and ran around for literally 10 minutes going 'Ewie, ewie, ewie!' like a child facing their Brussels sprouts."

u/andwhyshouldi

6. "On the first date, I had a guy who asked how easily I conceived and if I could still have children. I'm 32 and have a daughter from my first marriage."

Lifetime / Via media.giphy.com

7. "I went on a date where the guy constantly talked about himself and didn't ask me a thing except if I was in a sorority. When I said I wasn't, he talked nonstop about his frat and how he loved it until the end of the date. He also suggested that we eat weed brownies at his place as our first date. Like, no? I don't even know you. I'm not going to eat weed brownies at your house."

u/jro511

8. "Bringing the conversation back to sex EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I'd ask about what he did for work, and he'd tell me, then he'd ask if I owned dildos. I would ask where he went to school, and he'd ask if I minded if guys didn't wear condoms. I'd ask about his hobbies, and he'd ask if I was open to threesomes."

9. "He told me that he belonged to a swingers sex club that met once a month. He even showed me his membership card. There was no second date because he kept comparing me to the girls he fucked the week before."

u/xisha47x

10. "He kept talking about 'the rules' and how I was violating them. Rules like topics of conversation, letting him open a door, what time I scheduled the date, etc. WTF are these rules?"

Comedy Central / Via media.giphy.com

11. "I watched my date lick his plate at the end of dinner. It wasn't a silly joke; it wasn't to show off his skills. It was a plate of tikka masala with perfectly good naan sitting next to it, and he picked the whole thing up and licked it clean while I sat in absolute astonishment. Then, he asked to come back to my place like nothing out of the ordinary had happened. He was in his early 30s. Sigh."

u/babblueyed5

12. "I hate when a guy corrects you when you order a drink. Once, I ordered the vodka soda on special and this douche said, 'No, she won't be having that. Give her the Belvedere.' Another guy once canceled the wine I'd ordered and ordered something more expensive. It's happened more than a few times. It's really irritating."

13. "The guy spoke in a Scooby-Doo voice the entire date."

u/smalltwngrl

14. "At the end of a date, when this guy had walked me to my building, we stood out front for a moment and he slowly came in for what I thought would be a kiss. Instead, he ended up grabbing my face and licking my cheek. There was no second date."

15. "He talked about his divorce for literally 20–30 minutes without asking me a thing about myself or even trying to fake a bit of interest."

u/clean__underwear

16. "I just had a guy try to explain to me why women use makeup. Please, for the love of god, stop talking."

17. "He tried to give me a key to his house. We went on ONE date."

u/wingsformarie7

18. "I went out on a date with a friend of a friend. I thought he was cool enough, as we had hung out in group situations before, but boy was I wrong. Halfway through the date, he asked me to rate him on a scale from 1 to 10. I had no clue what to say!"

19. "The BIGGEST turnoff I've ever experienced on a first date was during this OkCupid date. First of all, he looked nothing like his pictures. Then, while he was asking me about my job, I mentioned how I had recently been promoted and was doing a presentation for a large group of the management team in the coming days. His response? 'Well, just dress sexy and no one will hear what you say anyways! Just look sexy and act sexy!' My jaw was on the floor by the time this conversation was over. The worst part was that he seemed completely oblivious."

u/itssohotinthevalley

20. "I had a guy who wouldn't eat at dinner because he was so nervous he couldn't touch his food. He also repeated 'We're having a really great time' about a dozen times in the first hour and kept saying we needed to go out again. In the end, he brought me home and told me he was going to stay out for a few more hours so his roommates would think he got laid."

21. "My date kept loudly trying to do an Australian accent, and he wasn't very good. He also told me my hair looked bad. Then he asked to touch it! I was already not feeling it with this guy for multiple reasons, so I said no. He then proceeded to reach over the table and grab a fistful of my hair anyway."

u/firfetir

22. "I went on a date years ago with a guy I met on OkCupid. We were waiting for our table at the restaurant when his phone rang. He proceeded to walk away and have a 20-minute conversation while I sat there twiddling my thumbs. When he came back, he told me it was a girl from work who relied on him for 'talk therapy' whenever she had a bad day. I stayed for the rest of the date out of politeness, but there was definitely not a second one."

HBO / Via media.giphy.com

23. "A guy asked me via text if I would convert to his religion. He didn't tell me he was a Mormon until a couple hours before our first date. I still went because I felt that cancelling on him would be rude. The date went okay and ended with an awkward hug. I went back to a friend's house and got a little drunk, and he started texting me. He then proceeded to ask me if I would consider becoming a Mormon. I countered by asking him if he would become a Catholic and his response was that he was too deeply rooted in his religion. We texted for another week or two, but he was kind of creepy, so I eventually stopped responding to him. Asking me to convert after one date was just so weird."

u/sparklingsatine

24. "Talking about your past sexual adventures or relationships without me asking about it really kills a date. I went out with a guy who kept going on about how when he was a graduate student he loved being a TA so he could sleep with his students. I did not ask and made it fairly clear I didn't care to know any more, and yet he kept going on about it."

25. Finally: "He took me to the restaurant where he used to work without telling me he used to work there. The whole time we were bombarded by his former coworkers. This one girl kept coming to the table and was really awkward about it. He told me, 'Yeah, that's my ex girlfriend. I wanted to show her that I've upgraded, and I wanted to show you off to all my friends.' I didn't really appreciate that. Then, it went even more south when he told me he could really imagine himself marrying me and asked me for my ring size. He even grabbed my hand and tried to guess...on the first date. I never cared to see him again."

u/kwolffie

All I can say is YIKES. Have you ever been on a terrible first date that you instantly knew would not lead to a second date? What happened??? Tell us your story in the comments below!

Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.