25 Embarrassing Misunderstandings That Made Some Innocent People Look Prettyyy Guilty
"I had him pull up my dress to check a mark on my back. Just then, our friend barged into the room."
Let's face it — we've all gotten ourselves into some pretty embarrassing and hard-to-explain situations. Even if the circumstances are completely innocent and harmless, it can be tough not to look guilty when you're caught on the spot.
1. "I was lucky enough to get a post-grad scholarship to travel to the USA for a field course in New Mexico. Before I left, my mum gave me a first aid kit, which was a little strange, but I thought nothing of it and packed it with my stuff. After a week or so, one of the other students cut themselves quite badly. I jumped into action and grabbed my handy first aid kit. I noticed it was quite tightly packed as I opened it in front of the other students and professors. As I unzipped it, dozens and dozens of condoms burst from the kit and went everywhere."
"I stood there aghast and tried to gather all the prophylactics, all while trying to convince everyone that my mother had packed the first aid kit for me, which was a hard sell seeing as I was 24 at the time. For context, my mum is a midwife, and part of her job is to promote contraception in the community. Some of those condoms were useful in the end, so shoutout to mum!"
2. "When I was 16, my boyfriend’s (now husband’s) parents took me on a beach vacation with them. His dad was kind enough to carry my luggage to my room, and I noticed his face was bright red. I just thought maybe he was hot. Well, then my boyfriend came in and said, 'So, my dad said your luggage is vibrating.' I had one of those handheld face-washing devices in my bag and it had turned on. His poor dad thought I had brought a vibrator, so I actually had my boyfriend go show his parents what it was. We all had a great laugh."
3. "When you cook professionally, you run into rampant cases of swamp ass and monkey butt. A well-known way to circumvent this is to throw some cornstarch on your bits and pieces. We kept a box of cornstarch in the office solely for this purpose. I was applying some cornstarch to my balls when a female manager walked into the office. It looked horrible from her perspective. My back was to the door and my hand was down my pants moving in a circular motion. She yelled, 'What are you doing? We have cameras in here!' I turned around and tried to explain myself, but she just said, 'I don't want to know.'"
4. "When I was around 14, my brother and I got really into paintball. One weekend, we were getting ready in our driveway. I should mention that we live in the middle of a cornfield and the corn was down at the time, meaning you could see cars coming from miles down the road. As I was getting my paintball gun ready, I saw my mom's green minivan turn down the road. I decide to be funny and connect my CO2 tank to my gun without any paint, so it would look and sound like it was firing, all while just shooting blanks. As the green minivan approached, I bolted down the driveway while screaming and firing blanks at the van. The window of the van rolled down, and some lady I'd never seen before leaned out."
"I can only assume she was going to stop and ask for directions, but once she saw me screaming and shooting at her, she rolled up her window, screamed, and slammed on the gas. That was the first and last time I ever saw that poor woman. Somewhere out there, a woman who tried to stop and ask for directions in the middle of nowhere thinks she was almost attacked by a teenager."
5. "I’ve suffered from sciatica in my left leg since I was about 14. In high school, I discovered the only way to heal a flair-up was to have someone pretty much dig into my left butt cheek. The muscle and nerve would relax, and it would give me instant pain relief. Once in 11th grade, I had my girlfriend over to my parents house, and we went downstairs to watch a movie. I had a flair-up and she offered to massage my ass cheek to help with the pain. I laid across her lap face-down while she rubbed the area. Well, my dad walked downstairs, and in the dark, it appeared as though my girlfriend was fisting my asshole. He immediately screamed, 'Whoa, I’m sorry!' and ran upstairs. I had to go and explain the situation. He still thinks she was fisting me. I’m almost 30."
6. "I was heading home super tired one night when a cop pulled me over. He asked me some questions at my window, then told me I had a large streak of blood down my face. Well, I said, 'It's okay, Officer. It's not my blood!' Yeah, don't say that to the police. He asked me to open the back of my car. I said, 'Umm okay, but don't freak out.' In the back seat of my car were a few lumpy, black bags. There was a bit more blood too. I was almost in a lot of trouble until I showed him the box in the backseat that contained my Harris hawk, which was enough to convince him that I'm a falconer. The bags contained a few month's supply of frozen food for my bird, and the blood on my face was because my hawk liked to 'preen' me after he'd finish eating. The officer took some photos with me and my hawk, then let us go."
7. "I suck at singing. About three years ago, I was singing a song during my shower, and someone called the cops to check and see if there was anyone in danger in my home. I got out of the shower, and they were waiting for me. They said, 'People say they heard screams.' I had to tell them I was just singing."
8. "I had just met my girlfriend’s parents for the first time, and we went to her bedroom to watch some Netflix. Well, the bed broke and we both fell through it. Because she screamed, her dad came barging into the room. I still remember being so scared while the both of us were on the floor trying to explain what had actually happened."
9. "My dog burps like a human. He straight-up rips out good belches every once in a while. Several times, I've been out walking him around other people when he lets a burp fly. I always start to explain, then just end up saying, 'Never mind.'"
10. "My manager was working in the office one weekend, and he had bad eczema. Since no one was around, he dropped his jeans and started going to town on his thighs. A cleaning lady walked in, took one look at him, and walked out again. To make matters worse, on Monday, his manager wanted to speak to him about a completely unrelated sensitive issue. He thought he was getting fired!"
11. "I was driving back to college from my grandma's house. I had a choral performance a few days from then, so I decided to practice. I held my hand up to my ear so I could hear myself better. A cop pulled me over, and was very surprised to see that my phone was actually packed away in the back seat. He asked me what the hell I was doing, and I awkwardly explained how I was singing and trying to hear myself better. After a long pause, I panicked and said, 'Just try it!' and started singing. He let me off with just a warning."
12. "One of my friends is a dermatologist, and I asked him to take a look at a birthmark on my lower back. We were outside for a barbecue and it was rainy, so we went into the bathroom for better lighting. I pulled my dress up and bent over the sink a bit so I didn't throw any shadows over the region around the birthmark. In this moment, another friend opened the door. She made a strange noise and closed the door immediately. It took us a few seconds to understand why she reacted so weirdly."
13. "I was working at a restaurant and walking closely behind one of the female servers. I was wearing a white shirt and she was wearing bright lipstick. She suddenly realized she'd forgotten something and whipped around, landing lips-first on the collar of my shirt. The imprint was comically perfect, and I had to finish my shift with the mark still there. I normally wouldn't have minded, but my family was meeting me for dinner that night."
14. "In high school, I borrowed my parents' van to take my girlfriend on a date. We went out for dinner, and then to a friend's house for a bonfire. Before the bonfire, she changed in the van from a skirt and tights to sweatpants. The next day, my dad pulled me aside and I noticed he was holding her tights. I started to say, 'It's not what it looks like,' but he cut me off with, 'I just want to make sure you guys are being safe' and 'Don't worry, I won't tell your mother.'"
15. "Today I was researching the people who used to live in our house. The 1911 census had one of their occupations listed as 'Lace Hand.' I excitedly messaged my boyfriend to share this info and he asked me what that job was. I then decided to Google 'lace hand job' on my work computer. Instant regret!"
16. "At work, I had to submit an expense claim for an inflatable doll. NOT a blow up doll, an inflatable person. This was many years ago in the NHS, and we were using it in meetings to demonstrate convoluted patient journeys so we could eliminate waste. My boss had a sense of humor."
17. "A co-worker hit my vehicle, and rather than go through the insurance company, I gave him the option to pay in cash to avoid taking an insurance hit. A couple days later, we met in the parking lot during our nightshift so he could pay me. At that exact moment, our manager walked out of the office and to his car. He saw us, and came over to see what the hell was going on. It totally looked like a drug deal was going down."
18. "When I was visiting my home town, I drove past my childhood home where I'd grown up. I decided to take some photos of the house for nostalgia's sake. There were a few little kids playing in the front yard. It made me happy to see that the house was still filled with kids. I took out my camera, and an angry bald man rushed out of the house. He started screaming at me for taking photos of his kids. His kids all started bawling, and I drove away in a hurry without stopping to explain myself."
19. "My dad leased a car for me. He wasn’t super tech-savvy (transferring money into his account wasn’t an option), so I always paid him in cash for the car payment. We would meet up to have dinner in a restaurant and I would give him my car payment. Well, one time, I got to the restaurant and had to go to the bathroom. After peeing, I went to wash my hands and decided to double check my money to make sure I had the right amount of cash. As I was counting out the $400, a guy walked into the bathroom, looked at me, and ran out! I thought, 'Oh, he's just embarrassed he walked into the wrong restroom.' Then, he proceeded to walk in again and awkwardly pass me. I then realized I was in the men's room counting cash."
20. "I brought a hammer to the office to hang a whiteboard. I left it in my laptop bag, and forgot to take it out at home. A few days later, my boss came up behind me and asked if we had a hammer in the office. Without thinking, I reached into my bag and handed him the hammer, all while still looking at my computer screen. A few seconds later, I realized my boss was still standing behind me. I turned around and, he was just standing there staring at the hammer. He said, 'Seriously? You carry a hammer with your laptop? Are you a serial killer?'"
21. "My high school girlfriend twisted her ankle and tore a tendon. I helped her take her pants off so she could go to bed because she was swollen and in a lot of pain. She was laying back on her bed, pants off, moaning in pain, and I was on my knees in front of her. Her mom walked in. Fast forward to 15 years later — we are married and her mom still doesn't believe the story."
22. "I was helping out a female co-worker by giving her rides home from work everyday. She was going through a divorce and was having car issues with her ex. We both worked the same hours and it was only a short distance, so I was happy to help. Anyway, one day she told me that a mouse had gotten into her bedroom, which was over her garage. I told her it was probably a simple fix, and I'd be happy to take a look to see where the mouse might've entered from. I went up to her bedroom and got on the ground to look. I took off my glasses and set them on her nightstand next to her bed. I found a small opening, and jammed some paper in it to help close it up. I told her that was all I saw, then left. Two hours later, I got a call from a friend that said her soon-to-be ex came over and found my glasses on the nightstand."
"She tried to explain that it was totally innocent and that I was looking for a mouse hole. He looked at her and said, "Yeah, I'm sure he was here looking for a hole.'"