I Ranked Fast-Food French Fries From "Meh" To "Masterpiece," So Let's See If You Agree

Eat good fries and tell no lies.

Greetings, my fellow french fry aficionados! Who's hungry for some controversy? Though I rarely meet a fry I don't love, not all fries are created equally. So, I decided to rank some fast-food fries from "Meh" to "Masterpiece," and I'm curious as to whether or not you'll agree. Alright, let's get cookin'!

17. Burger King

Burger King / Via bk.com

Sorry BK, you may be the king of burgers, but you're not the king of fries. Hear me out — the fries are still tasty. All fries are tasty in SOME capacity. But these fries just can't compete with their competitors. They're fine. I'll eat them, but they will never be my top choice. They're just a little "meh."

16. Dairy Queen

Dairy Queen / Via dairyqueen.com

Tolerable, but forgettable. If I'm at Dairy Queen, I'm not really there to down an order of fries. Sure, it might happen along the way, but it's all about the ice cream at DQ, and I think these fries are proof of that. If the fries were even HALF as good as a cookie dough Blizzard, maybe they'd rank a little higher. But, alas, they are just ~decent.~ If you go to Dairy Queen for the fries specifically, I have some questions. 

15. In-N-Out Burger

In-N-Out / Via in-n-out.com

Oh god, here come the In-N-Out stans. Look, I'm not saying these fries are bad — none of the fries on this list are specifically "bad" in my book — I just think they're a little lackluster. In-N-Out always gets SO much hype, so when I spent some time on the West Coast, I knew I had to give it a try. It was a very tasty meal, and I am glad to have tried it, but I wasn't seeing stars and hearing the angels sing when I tasted these fries. They're good, sure, but they're not as "heavenly" as all the hype would make it seem. 

14. Hardee's

Hardee's / Via hardees.com

I'm honestly not sure if I've ever had Hardee's more than once in my entire life. That being said, the fries were totally fine. Good texture, nice crispiness, decent salt level. I don't recall having any major complaints — I just don't think I have enough information (or enough of a craving) to rank these any higher. 

13. Sonic Drive-In

Sonic / Via order.sonicdrivein.com

Look, they're pretty good, but I rarely find myself at a Sonic. And if I do, I'm there for mozzarella sticks and a Blast, not an order of fries. I have bigger fish to fry when I'm in a Sonic Drive-In than ordering a measly thing of fries. Of course they're tasty (because Sonic is low-key underrated), but Sonic has plenty of other bangin' stuff on their menu. 

12. Zaxby's

Zaxby's / Via zaxbys.com

If these fries actually came with as much seasoning as this photo alludes to, they'd probably be higher on my list. They're solidly yummy fries! But they could use more *spice.* I also tend to be a fan of thinner, crispier fries, but these puppies aren't bad. But seriously, I just wish they weren't so shy with the seasoning in real life. 

11. Jack in the Box

Jack in the Box / Via jackinthebox.com

Ohhh, double trouble! You can get regular OR curly fries at Jack in the Box. Gotta 👏 love 👏 those 👏 options. Both french fry varieties are perfectly crispy, which you know I love. I once ordered regular fries at a Jack in the Box and had a few curly fries mixed in the batch. It was such a great day! You can't really go wrong here. Though these fries aren't my favorite of all time, they are headed in the right direction. 

10. Five Guys

Five Guys / Via fiveguys.com

I may get some heat for not putting Five Guys closer to the top, but I stand behind my opinion. Obviously Five Guys fries are a special breed. With or without Cajun seasoning (though seasoned is better!), they make me drool. I love the sight of a greasy Five Guys bag with fries littering the bottom! All that being said, these fries get soggy FAST. They're rarely crispy, and they often feel a little slimy. Still love 'em, but I'd rather have a burger. 

9. Kentucky Fried Chicken

Kentucky Fried Chicken / Via test.kfc.com

According to the KFC website, it took 60 years to perfect these fries. Yeah, they're freakin' good, but that sounds like some marketing BS to me. I'm glad KFC has more than just those chunky potato wedges these days. I don't want my fries to be too thick or too potato-y (seems counterintuitive, doesn't it?). I like these fries a lot, but the whole "secret recipe" narrative just makes me roll my eyes. I don't know. 

8. Arby's

Arby's / Via arbys.com

Another double whammy! I've actually never had crinkle-cut fries from Arby's, but I know how I feel about those damn curly fries! As far as fast-food curly fries go, you'll probably never find something better. Personally, the fries are the only menu item from Arby's I can really get on board with, so thank god they've seemingly nailed the recipe. I love that ✨crunch.✨

7. Popeyes

Popeye's / Via popeyes.com

Give me aaalllll the seasoning! Yeah, I could shamelessly eat a bucket of these fries at any given moment. While they aren't my favorite seasoned fries in the world, they definitely have something special going on. So crispy, so salty, so full of flavor. I'm actually starting to salivate. Rumor has it they're opening a Popeyes a few blocks from me. Let the games begin. 

6. Shake Shack

Shake Shack / Via shakeshack.com

Hot DAMN, I love Shake Shack! They salt their fries to my liking EVERY time. They've really nailed their fry texture too. Their fries are perfectly crispy on the outside, but never to the point of being overdone. You get a good crunch without the fear of chipping a tooth. 

5. Chick-fil-A

Chick-fil-A / Via chick-fil-a.com

Yeah, waffle fries are freakin' delicious (especially when paired with Chick-fil-A sauce), but why do they give you like three fries per container? I have plenty of personal beef with Chick-fil-A, so their skimpy fry portions are just another item on my list. Like damn, these fries really have the potential to be all-stars, but there are just never enough in a serving. 

4. Taco Bell

Taco Bell / Via tacobell.com

Come on, Taco Bell, don't be a coward. Make nacho fries a permanent menu item! I'd get these bad boys to accompany my Doritos Locos Tacos EVERY time. There's just something I can't shake about the allure of nacho fries. Maybe it's the seasoning, maybe it's the queso, or maybe it's the fact that I can only get them certain times of the year. I dunno, but I'd like to petition to keep these on the menu all year round. 

3. Wendy's

Wendy's / Via order.wendys.com

Oh yeah, baby, now we're talking. They're crispy, they're salty, and they're delicious in any dipping sauce. Wendy's, never change. You've been gracing the world with your delicious fries since 1969 (nice). You could totally dip these fries into a Frosty, but I don't think it's even necessary. Why mess with perfection? 

2. Bojangles

Bojangles / Via bojangles.com

Only a handful of states in the Southeast are blessed with Bojangles, so I'm terribly sorry if you're missing out on the magic. Their french fry seasoning is, dare I say, the best you will ever get. I miss these fries like I miss my family back home. As they say on the box: These fries are NEXT LEVEL. No other seasoned fry can compete. You will want to lick every bit of seasoning off your greasy fingers after finishing these little treasures. God, I wish Bojangles was a nationwide chain. These fries make me feel things. 

1. McDonald's

McDonald's / Via mcdonalds.com

You already KNOW McDonald's fries are the best in the business. Sorry, but they cannot be outdone! You can't mess with a masterpiece. I'm lovin' it, you're lovin' it — we're all lovin' it. Honestly, I don't even want to hear your objections. You know I'm right, and it frustrates you. No other fast-food fry is as texturally perfect as this one. Plus, they are as salty as the Dead Sea, and I LOVE it. 

There you have it, folks. Who's hungry?! I know what I'm craving. Well, now's the part where you tell me how brilliant or how stupid I am in the comments below. I want to hear all your french fry-related feelings, so have at it!

McDonald's CZ/SK / Via media.giphy.com