23 Breakups So Ugly, You'll Be Glad You're Riding Solo
"He broke up with me during sex."
1. This terrible timing:
"I got dumped on April Fools' Day. It took half an hour to convince me it wasn't a joke."
2. This family affair:
"He told me he wasn't feeling it anymore and it turned out it was because he had been cheating on me with his cousin, whom he lived with. The worst part is, no one knows who the father of her son is."
3. This horrible holiday:
"He broke up with me on Christmas Eve through Facebook Messenger while we were engaged and I was six months pregnant."
4. This person who took "save the drama for your mama" literally:
"He texted my mom to tell her that he was planning on breaking up with me when I got off work. The coward couldn't even break up with me through text. He basically got my mom to do it for him."
5. This nauseating nonsense:
"I once stayed over at my friend’s house and ended up sick all night with the stomach flu. My then-boyfriend came to pick me up from her house and accused me of partying, though I was literally shivering from an obvious fever. I hadn’t had a single drink. My friend tried to tell him that, but he didn’t believe her. He took me back to his house and broke up with me while I was delirious and throwing up. He called my mom to come get me, but she was busy. I had to wait at his house for hours until she could pick me up. It was miserable."
6. This dinner disaster:
"My ex, who I’d been with for five years, dumped me in a very public place right before my parents were due to pick us up and take us out for dinner. This makes us sound like kids, but I was 24 and he was 28 at the time. I managed to compose myself from my embarrassing public snot-cry before we met my parents. Then, I had to sit through dinner for two hours while he was all charming and friendly and I stared at my plate and died inside. The next day (we stayed overnight at my parents) he told me he loved me, then fucked off on a train and I never saw him again."
7. This flighty fool:
"My ex-boyfriend ditched me at the airport six hours before my flight. I ended up paying for a new plane ticket to leave earlier, then later that day I found out he had ditched me to see his ex."
8. This monstrosity:
"We were engaged, the wedding venue was booked, and everything was set. He messaged me on Facebook Messenger about how he didn’t love me anymore and to let him know when I was ready to talk."
9. This absurdly cruel call:
"When I was three months pregnant with our second child, he went away for work and only came home on the weekends. During one of those weeks, he rang me, told me it was over, and said he never wanted our baby! Less than three months later, his new girlfriend was pregnant!"
10. This answered prayer:
"I got dumped for God. An ex told me she’d prayed on it a lot and God said that we weren’t supposed to be together. We should just be friends."
11. This one that just leaves me speechless:
"We were married for 12 years and decided to start a family. At three months pregnant, he told me that he’d been seeing someone at work, that he never loved me, and that he just felt sorry for me."
12. This selfish scumbag:
"We had been dating for eight months and he broke up with me during sex. He finished, broke up with me, and THEN pulled out."
13. This plot twist:
"After almost a year of dating, he left an envelope under my doormat with a note and my key. The note said we couldn’t date anymore because his wife had returned from her tour in Afghanistan. I had no idea he was married."
14. This coward:
"He was such a chicken that he had his new girlfriend call me to tell me it was over. Then, he ghosted me."
15. This fucked up phone call:
"We were in a long distance relationship while I was in law school. He called me in the middle of class (I answered, thinking it was an emergency) to tell me that he had been cheating on me and moved in with the other woman so he couldn't juggle both of us anymore. He said, 'She's here taking care of me and you're not.'"
16. This shocking turn of events:
"After four years together (and one year living together), I went to work one morning. On my way home, I texted him asking if he wanted anything from the shop. He replied, 'Nothing, it's over,' then blocked my number. His mom texted me a few minutes later and said they'd gone out and expected me to have moved out by the time they got back. I never heard from him again."
17. This stupid scapegoat:
"He invited me to stay with his family for a few days around Christmas. I thought it went pretty well, but after I went home, he ghosted me for a couple of days. Then, he called to break up with me over FaceTime, saying, 'My parents don’t think I like you.'"
18. This birthday bust:
"My partner of six years cheated on me twice in one week during the pandemic. The second time was the night before my birthday and two days before our appointment for couples therapy. So, I officially got broken up with first thing in the morning on my birthday."
19. This classroom cringe-fest:
"This didn't happen to me, but I watched it go down. We were sitting in homeroom and this girl's boyfriend was in the back with his friends. She was saying how she wanted to break up with him but didn’t know how. After five minutes of debating how to do it, she wrote his name on the whiteboard followed by, 'We should break up.' It was brutal to watch."
20. This pathetic present:
"He broke up with me on my birthday and told me that it was my present."
21. This unfair affair:
"My husband of five years came back after visiting his daughter for two weeks to tell me that he didn't love me anymore and we were done. Turns out he’d been shagging his ex-wife for 18 months and they ended up remarrying after our divorce."
22. This beastly breakup:
"I got broken up with during intermission of Beauty and the Beast on Broadway on Valentine's Day. Needless to say, we left the venue and didn't see the rest of the show."
23. Finally, this one that just makes me say, "What the fuck?":
"One of my ex-boyfriends dumped me at one of my favorite restaurants by telling me, ‘I’m a writer and I do my best work when I’m unhappy, so I don’t think we should be together anymore.’ I was shocked to say the least. It caught me off guard because we had just been talking about introducing each other to our families."
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and clarity.