21 Signs You Were Raised By Lawyers

It wasn’t a home, it was a legal pad.

1. Debate is not a sport for you, it is the sport.

2. You have known your Miranda Rights by heart since you could talk.

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3. You always went on “educational” vacations.

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You want to go to Mexico with your friends? Too bad.

4. You drive your friends crazy when you call out all the mistakes made in Law and Order: SVU.

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5. You have no idea what it’s like to get in a screaming match.

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In your house, no matter how angry, a person spoke calmly, clearly, and pointedly.

6. You don’t simply complain about poor services or inconveniences.

7. You’ve always had free representation at traffic hearings, where you obviously fought the ticket.

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Pro tip: if you bring a lawyer, you get to cut the line.

8. You are very familiar with the use of (sc)air quotes.

New Line Cinema

“Hypothetically” speaking of course.

9. The prospect of going to small claims court excites you.


There is no claim to small, no amount too trivial.

10. You want to object whenever someone says something ignorant in class.



11. Scrabble is your family’s go-to game.

And it’s deadly serious.

12. You don’t even bother asking if your friends can sleep over.

Liability is the first of many issues on your parents’ list.

13. Your glove compartment is always locked.

Get ‘em Jay.

14. Your parents marked up any and all documents.

This is essentially what your first grade field trip forms looked like.

15. You were taught the vast difference between reasonable suspicion and probable cause.

Nice try, coppers!

16. Your date can expect more than just the usual cross-examination.


“If you’ll just bear with me, I have a few questions.”

17. You’re the HR’s worst nightmare.

You may even be the HR person.

18. There is literally nothing more exciting when someone calls a surprise witness.


19. You always had the last laugh with the bullies.

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“I’m telling my mom on you” had a much deeper, scarier meaning.

20. You’re well versed in “Legal Latin.”

Paramount Pictures

in flagrante delicto
Syllabification: in fla·gran·te de·lic·to
Pronunciation: /ˌin fləˈgräntā dəˈliktō, fləˈgrantē
Definition: in the very act of wrongdoing.

21. You are physically incapable of keeping your opinions to yourself.

Paramount Pictures / Via meangirlgifs.tumblr.com

You’re not arguing, you am simply explaining why you’re right.

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