24 Things You Learn To Love When You Move To Dubai
In the words of Tupac, you got to be there to know it.
Moving to Dubai is like starting at a new school.
You've never been so ashamed to be a monoglot.
But you can speak Expat Essential Arabic™.
Your friends at home thinking you live a life of luxury on your tax-free salary.
Eventually you come to realise that a 6-wheeled Hummer H2 is not an unreasonably large car.
And pretty soon you'll learn that BIGGEST is BEST.
You become pretty reliant on the fact that EVERYTHING delivers.
When you do go out to eat, the waiter brings you an extra chair.
Oh, and you can leave your bag unattended.
You learn that all-you-can-eat, all-you-can-drink brunches aren't as fun as they sound the hard way.
"Winter" makes you feel unbelievably smug.
And in summer? It is perfectly acceptable to take a taxi for a 100-metre trip down the street.
You learn to love Summer Cabin Fever.
It doesn't take you long to realise that Dubai reacts to rain the way Britain reacts to snow: It. Cannot. Deal.
And you start thinking that you may be in the most paradoxical city on earth.
You start appreciating just how literal place names are.
Arabic weekends are the actual best.
And you get a real kick out of finding a route that doesn't involve taking Sheikh Zayed Road.
While tailgating is something of a national sport, giving an offender the middle finger could land you in trouble.
And you no longer have to put up with that overly-handsy couple snogging in the supermarket.
Plus, local cultural sensitivity saves you from some truly awful films.
Friends at home think you're either permanently covered head to toe...
... or that you're #ballin 24/7...
.... but you know Dubai's somehow achieved the rarest of things: A happy medium.
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