1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
11.
12.
13.
What's wrong babe ? You dont like your birthday present ?
14.
15.
when i say a no skips album i mean the Shrek 2 soundtrack
16.
Marvel: 'Infinity War is the most ambitious crossover event in history' me:
18.
stopped to clean @shrek 's hollywood star. nothing but respect for MY president
19.
[Stock market crashes] "Oh no, I better check on my investments!" *opens cupboard over top of the sink* [1000s of Shrek dvds fall out]
20.
she said do you love me, i said only partly, i only love my swamp and my donkey, i’m sorry...
23.
ME: I'll put a sexy movie on DATE: Good idea *presses play* D: Shrek? M: omg embarrassing D: Haha M: [fumbling with DVD] Meant to be Shrek 2
24.
I don’t remember this part of the movie....
26.
[valentine's day] gf: [reading my txt] "keith just said he's going to give me 92 minutes of pleasure tonight" her friend: "oh wow" [later watching shrek 2] me: "you look disappointed"
27.
best shrek song you: all star by smash mouth me, an intellectual: I Need A Hero by the Fairy Godmother
29.
If you read the Bible backwards it's the script for Shrek 2
31.
Make friends in your classes
33.
so baby pull me closer in the backseat of ur rover
36.
I've started using Shrek as a unit of time, where 1 shrek = 1hr 35min (the length of the movie) Examples: "See you in a shrek!" (1hr 35min) "Dinner will be ready in half a shrek." (47.5min) "My birthday is only 469.9 shreks away!" (1 month)
38.
Me: Whats wrong babe? Her: Nothing. Me:*Pauses DVD of Shrek 2 that Ive had on a loop since losing my job* No somethings wrong I can tell.
39.
BIDEN: How come you've never shown ME the swamp? OBAMA: Drain the swamp is a metaphor, Joe. BIDEN: Where will Shrek live?
41.
HITMAN: Who's the target? ME: [slides photo across table] HITMAN: You..want me to kill Shrek? ME: Not Shrek [taps photo] his talkative horse
42.
43.
*Guy is rushed in on a stretcher* DR: what happened EMT: we found him passed out & seizing during a shrek marathon DR: WE'VE GOT AN OGREDOSE
44.
#LyricsThatHaveToBeShouted someBODY ONCE TOLD ME THE WORLD IS GONNA ROLL ME
46.
the difference between irish accents and scottish accents is that irish accents are real and the scottish accent was made up for the Shrek movies
49.
“My god, it’s the zombie apocalypse. Everyone grab the most critical items and get ready to run” *me holding a Shrek 2 DVD* Way ahead of you
50.
cop: do you know why i pulled you over me: because i was playing the Shrek 2 soundtrack? cop: ya turn that shit up lol
51.
please enjoy this painting of kanye as a shrek
52.
*Hallelujah starts playing* "Ah yes, from Shrek"
53.
This is an actual Smash Mouth concert
57.
A Shrek fan fiction about Donkey and Dragon’s bdsm sex life called 50 Shades of Bray: How to Chain Your Dragon
58.
tfw your potato has layers
60.
Him.
62.
✨ a skincare thread ✨ how i went from this... to THIS!
64.
I consider myself a true film fan. Most people wouldn’t understand true art and I don’t expect them to. Here are my top five films of all time 1. shrek 2. Shrek 2 3. Shrek 3 4. Shrek Forever After 3D 5. Pulp Fiction
66.
I know my children are going to warn their future partners not to shit talk Shrek in front of me.
68.
green characters who are too sexualized: - shrek - the grinch - the green m&m green characters who haven’t gotten sexualized ENOUGH: - Flubber
70.
there are children being born whose PARENTS were not alive when Shrek (2001) came out.. Crazy how the years start coming and they simply do not stop coming
71.
ok so I got pulled over on my way home from makeup class...
72.
73.
cigarettes after shrek
74.
75.
Remember Lord Farquaad from Shrek? This is him now. Feel old yet?
76.
Remember Lord Farquaad from Shrek, well this is him now
77.
Me: Shrek is love, Shrek is life Me: ShReK iS lOvE, ShRek iS liFe
78.
Aura: So. Like. What even happens in Shrek 2? Me, sitting upright and feeling awake for the first time in days: Well, it opens on a trip to
79.
Jeff Buckley's "Hallelujah" came on at this party and a girl here said "this song always reminds me of shrek"
80.
I want to connect speakers to my houses alarm system so when it gets set off a recording of Shrek will yell "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY SWAMP"
81.
:):
84.
Not gunna lie, the shrek soundtrack is the only CD in my car...
85.
guy: so.... what's your favorite movie? me: it's a classic guy: yup? me: ............................. Shrek
87.
Your man -not loyal - never makes waffles - never fucked a dragon Donkey from Shrek - loyal - makes waffles - fucks a dragon on the regular
88.
89.
the fairy godmother from shrek - i need a hero https://t.co/gJSAeILyzq
90.
things that won’t get you laid: - vaping - juuling things that will get you laid: - reciting every line from the movie Shrek - saying “it’s ogre time” before sex
92.
who decided the soundtrack of shrek would go that hard
93.
94.
guys🇺🇸if🇺🇸you🇺🇸receive🇺🇸a 🇺🇲 link🇺🇸saying🇺🇸"naked🇺🇸pictures🇺🇸of🇺🇸Shrek"🇺🇸don't🇺🇸open🇺🇸it🇺🇸it🇺🇸is🇺🇸a🇺🇸virus🇺🇸that🇺🇸puts🇺🇸USA🇺🇸flags🇺🇸between🇺🇸everything🇺🇸you🇺🇸type
95.
You have 100 dollars to make the perfect man Funny $101 Creative $101 Hot $101 Is actually shrek $100 Loyal $101 Friendly $101
96.
97.
there's only two time periods on our earth: the pre-shrek world and post-shrek world
This post contains content from Jamie Jones, Christian Zamora, Lara Parker, Grace Spelman, and Hanifah Rahman. It was compiled by Laura Frustaci.