1.
a girl in the coffee shop i’m working from has just said to her friend ‘imagine a hot veg smoothie’ and i’m wondering how to break it to her that soup exists
2.
me looking at the train departure board after running for 5 mins straight
3.
no millennial has all 5 - savings - their own place - zero mental illness - a complete understanding of what happened in the movie ‘inception’ - a healthy relationship with alcohol
4.
She didn’t deserve this.
5.
My child in 2045: The owner of Fenty Beauty used to sing???? Me: https://t.co/klsIGrm0l7
6.
Pizza Express to fold and become Calzone Express. https://t.co/O1xqQWgbym
7.
Can’t believe TFL built a rollercoaster round East London and named it DLR
8.
Central line, 8:30am https://t.co/tgDxTac6pa
9.
coleen me rooney 🤝 1 person viewing our insta story
10.
Spent this week trying to get answers from @uber as to how my driver managed to drive me halfway up the UK while I dozed off thinking I was headed from Fulham to Croydon. Woken up in the Midlands! Didn’t hear a peep from my driver. £1453.86. 5 1/2 hrs on surge price x2.
11.
for those who didn’t catch the reference
12.
[louis theroux: inside scottish twitter] louis: your friend ally was hit by a bus, how did you react? man: told him to fuck off louis: didn't you think that was cruel? he's your friend man: *shrugs* louis: *voiceover* i was getting nowhere. i had to speak to ally himself.
13.
investigative journalism: █ █ █ █ ＿ Coleen Rooney The BBC
14.
I’ve just convinced my mate that the inside of a cheese grater is in fact, a sick new nightclub
15.
Two black queens ❤️❤️❤️❤️ https://t.co/566BBsQ1Bb
16.
you know how UK fashion brands sell t-shirts with like “chicago” and “phoenix” and “ ILLINOIS” printed on them do you reckon US brands sell clothes with like “W I G A N” and “𝓫𝓸𝓾𝓻𝓷𝓮𝓶𝓸𝓾𝓽𝓱” on or what
17.
👑