1.
These idiots putting their hat in the ring for PM reminds me when i was 13 and my mate Becca who i was secretly in love with was trying to decide whether to date Sam or Mike and i plucked up the courage to say “would it make things easier if i put my name forward” and she said no
2.
Yes why wouldn't I want £150,000? https://t.co/6mmbTh9suo
3.
The UK: https://t.co/FvRB9YM5Jg
4.
Tesco going above and beyond 🤭😳
5.
There’s a guy that brings his dug on site way him n the hings kitted oot in a high vis n everythin 😂😂
6.
Why do people keep putting burgers in brioche buns? It’s all wrong. You wouldn’t put ham in a Battenburg, or pepperoni in a French Fancy, so why would you put beef in a cake? This nonsense has gone far enough.
7.
Imitation is the biggest form of flattery! Absolutely love it @ladygaga ❤️💋
8.
mental how Sophie Ellis-Bextor’s whole life is funded by ppl playing Murder on the Dancefloor in gaffs at 5am
9.
Been asked to sign the leaving card of a colleague i'm not fond of mainly because they're rude, lazy & ignorant. Torn between writing "I've worked with many people & can honestly say you were one of them" "Leaving? Didn't know you'd started? "or just drawing an ejaculating penis.
10.
I honestly have no idea why my mother has done this. 🤔
11.
Oi I hate my friends
12.
Shout out to that time my friend got "The Very Hungry Caterpillar" and "The Human Centipede" mixed up
13.
Hey Mum & Dad, I’ve got something to tell you... I’m Guacamole
14.
Mumsnet has reviewed Rocketman.
15.
She’s spelling mum with a u she’s officially ours https://t.co/DyilXvAAvR
16.
Sad news and funny news: Sad = Jess Glynne couldn’t make it to #BigWeekend as she’s lost her voice Funny = It was too late to tell the band and they’ve turned up and can’t leave as the bus driver has worked too many hours so they’ve all decided to go into town and watch Aladdin
17.
Mr Corbyn’s silence on the beauty vloggers beef is deafening
18.
rihanna’s moved to london .. theresa may’s resigned as PM .. do u see where im going with this ..