1.
this was my multiverse of madness
2.
What's your favourite moment in The Sopranos?
3.
paul mescal and phoebe bridgers are tommy fury and molly mae for girls on sertraline
4.
Tempted to eat some Dreamies to see what the big deal is.
5.
Me: oh, the coco pops monkey *definitely* has he/they energy 😂 My mum: your cousin just bought a house
6.
if ever you feel unsure of yourself remember that in 2006 fergie had a hit single called “london bridge” with a massive picture of tower bridge on the cover
7.
everything everywhere is actually free if u just pick it up and run https://t.co/NK29S2w5f4
8.
i keep forgetting i’m in oxford man, i was walking w my bonnet and one guy asked why i’m wearing a shower cap
9.
Molly Mae when the clocks go forward and there’s only 23 hours that day:
10.
Once you realise Number 10 were all drunk all of the time, 2020 starts to make more sense
11.
Sam Sparro punching the air rn https://t.co/6TOX6WjZf7
12.
Why do you think they call it ‘Downing Street’?
13.
“Mate, you really need to apologise to Buckingham Palace” is the hungover text we all fear
14.
When a Muppet is sitting with their legs hanging free
15.
Tesla drivers say disdain for Elon Musk is resulting in abuse from other motorists, as they can’t even park across three parent and child spaces anymore without people glaring at them.
16.
If he was real, Batman would be one of the world’s less weird billionaires
17.
My shower gel is £1 but my washing up liquid is £2. Why am I spending twice as much to clean my plates as I am to clean myself? We're both covered in the same pasta sauce.
18.
Ratatouille but it’s a malevolent frog making Matt Hancock kill the elderly
19.
The kids at the orphanage when Stuart Little - a mouse - gets chosen ahead of them.
20.
men invented football so they could sing songs together
21.
My kids have just discovered that the family sick bowl and the cake mix bowl are one and the same. In my defence, this was also the case when I was growing up … but now I’ve said it out loud, I realise I need to break the cycle. I won’t be taking any further questions.
23.
this is what i imagine it would be like to study english literature in an american high school https://t.co/vJDg6815g3
24.
I just need you to see the stairs in an apartment I viewed. Am I a mountain goat?
25.
#imaceleb
26.
i didn’t care for ed edd n eddy… even at a tender age i had the capacity to recognise beauty and glamour. i could see something decidedly unchic was afoot
27.
S01 E01, main challenge: Build the werkroom yourself from IKEA furniture https://t.co/uDuJUZi9lS
28.
My 24 year old homeowner brother being asked if his mum and dad are in by a delivery guy has made my week
29.
Did…did a minotaur write this
30.
Everyone in Hackney dresses like Barry Chuckle now
31.
This is singlehandedly Simon Cowell’s fault https://t.co/J3PMHGwkTT
32.
This. That’s it. https://t.co/kn4xL1zFgt
33.
Absolute fashion anarchy here from Charles Tyrwhitt. I don’t even know what I’m looking at. Wow.
34.
this cropped headline is still the funniest thing I’ve seen this year
35.
Girl, are you Storm Eunice because at first I don't take you seriously but now I'm texting my mum about you.
36.
Dua Lipa’s formal name is Dua Liverpool Institute for Performing Arts
37.
Why hello Jane! https://t.co/AclA36Te3B
38.
I feel like this event was born out of a lie that got out of hand..
39.
British weather reporters vs. Storm Eunice 💨☔️😖 #StormEunice #BigJetTV #wind
40.
Every American podcast ending (almost).
41.
Valentines scenes in Sainsbury’s: man comes up to me with flowers and says “sorry…you’re a girl…is this nice for a girl??”
42.
Location, Location, Location: Realistic Edition
43.
Overheard a university student say “Arctic Monkeys were my dad’s favourite band when I was little.” The passage of time is relentless, unfathomable, cruel, and unforgiving.
44.
Habbo Hotel was the original metaverse
45.
Indie bands naming themselves 2002-2008:
46.
Can someone check on the guys naming kids’ garments at Trespass?
47.
Who was Prime Minister when King Charles III ascended to the throne is going to be a really hard pub quiz question in about 20 years
48.
My issue w Twitter is that I am talking to myself and strangers are talking to me.
49.
Last night I went to a bar, with the understanding that well-behaved women make history all the time. But then I saw a neon sign which changed everything.
50.
The British public voting for Matt Hancock to do every Bushtucker Trial x
51.
All this Elon Musk stuff just keeps making me think of when Monica's millionaire boyfriend Pete wanted to become The Ultimate Fighting Champion
52.
I’ve just accidentally sent a picture of Jane MacDonald to a customer… Instead of a proof of delivery from UPS 💀 The reply was “how can I use this as a proof of delivery?” IM SCREAMING
53.
🚨BREAKING: Popstar Tulisa has just vandalised a piece of artwork in protest for the Just Stop Oil campaign
54.
viewing the Chinese McDonald's menu through Google Translate produces some of the best fast food names i've ever seen
55.
Standing tickets for Blink 182 are £110 - £88..... The pit be like...
56.
Today I asked a recruiter what their company does to ensure diversity and inclusivity in the work place. Her answer was they sometimes bring their dogs to work. Looool sigh.
57.
Did a slug take this picture https://t.co/yQg3WTW0ui
58.
That’s never a good sign.
59.
me buying something from M&S
60.
Andrew Tate looks like if you tried to draw Pitbull from memory
61.
“Wind your neck in” is a 10/10 British phrase. Kills me everytime
62.
me: i’m just gonna switch the big light on for 1 minu- british gas:
63.
has it occurred to thomas that he might be the problem
64.
[Rishi Sunak at a Woolworths] "a pick and some mix, please"
65.
one vegan sausage roll left in Greggs and the person in front of me has neon pink hair please pray for me
66.
For a split second I thought something had gone terribly, biblically wrong with my cat
67.
Every now and then I just remember Mel Brooks’ reaction to the One Show.
68.
supermarket self scanners are an interesting cultural phenomenon where everyone seems to have just universally decided that it’s polite to steal about 20% of your groceries but no more.
69.
Me working my first day at a bank:
70.
I rate that Jacqueline Wilson’s entire vibe was to teach children from a young age that life is pain
71.
the natural lifecycle of British writers.
72.
Occasionally I get reminded of the time a Dutch friend came to the UK, and because Lloyds TSB don't say they are a bank on their ads, assumed Britain advertised horses on national TV.
73.
Dido singing about the worst morning of her life and opening the song with "My teas gone cold" is the most British thing I've ever heard.
74.
Ohhh they must be FUMINGGG
75.
everytime I come to london my mates will say some shit like “get the pinkersmith line to banana & dolphin and then you can change onto the dinkerdonk line to splooge street” and expect me to understand what the hell they’re talking about
76.
boris johnson delivering his resignation
77.
My gravestone will read “He was born. He seemed to somehow spend £30 every 2 days in Tesco express. He died.”
78.
Wow, didn't see that one coming
79.
omg girl are u the postcode for legoland windsor because
80.
christ if I had £1 for every government resignation today I could buy a tub of Lurpak
81.
Eldest daughter: Man, our parents wd never allow that! Youngest son:
82.
Finally someone understands! https://t.co/rvAVMFQw0e
83.
Throwing my hat in the ring for the six-part TV farce:
84.
No one: The toothpaste when you've forgotten to put the cap back on:
85.
Kate Bush is No 1. There are rail strikes in 4 days. Inflation is soaring. There’s a heat wave. Great week for big fans of 1976.
87.
British early 1600s https://t.co/WMugvGYcED
88.
7 year olds in victorian england after their 18 hour shift in the coal mines https://t.co/q1Vubp4SJ5
89.
i think it’s actually bad vibes to know sex positions off by name. bit nerdy. knowing what the oyster is is gives off supremely horny energy. you only need to know the name of about four
90.
The Queen has turned up at Glastonbury to watch Robert Plant. That disguise is fooling nobody #Glastonbury
91.
Someone in the tiktok comments said the reason the UK go so hard at concerts and festivals is because of all the primary school assembly singing we had to do 🤣
92.
“As I was wandering around doing fuck all I couldn’t help but notice other people doing exactly the same thing as me.”