1. Counting down the days to the main event by eating a teeny tiny piece of chocolate every day. Ocado / Waitrose Don't get me wrong, Advent calendars are great, but like, why. 2. Being emotionally invested in the narrative, aesthetics, and music of a department store's advert. John Lewis If you haven't teared up at a John Lewis ad, are you even British? 3. And equally invested in the finding who will top the music charts and be crowned Christmas No. 1. BBC No one buys singles anymore and TOTP has been off the air for years — why do we care?! 4. Spending Christmas Eve getting pissed at the pub with a bunch of people you went to school with. Getty Images You've probably lost touch with 90% of them, but you still go year after year. 5. Pretending that mince pies are actually nice. Getty Images / BuzzFeed Stop lying. 6. Going to the local theatre and shouting "he's behind you" at stars from yesteryear. Flickr: chrisfithall Pantomimes aren't even about Christmas! 7. Leaving alcohol out for Father Christmas to drink as he makes his way around the houses. Getty Images Surely this sends confusing messages about drinking and driving? 8. And speaking of which, basically calling Santa "daddy"... Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF Buena Vista Pictures Father = daddy. Think about it guys, it's weird. 9. Marking the start of our Christmas lunch by pulling a cracker. Getty Images Sure, it's a day where you get loads of presents, but pulling a mini sewing kit out of one of these bad boys is like winning the lottery. 10. And then proceeding to eat dinner in a paper crown. Getty Images Again, why?! 11. Mercilessly dragging Brussels sprouts, but continuing to include them in the Christmas dinner lineup, year after year. Getty Images Something just doesn't add up. 12. Sitting around the TV watching the Queen give her rundown of the year... BBC Sorry, but does anyone actually care? 13. ...Before getting really engrossed in the drama of the Eastenders Christmas special. BBC Do you watch it any other day? No? Are you heavily invested in Albert Square's Christmas shenanigans? Yes. 14. Adding alcohol to absolutely everything. BBC Eggnog, brandy butter, Christmas cake — if it's possible for alcohol to be added, it's going in. 15. Going on a walk in the freezing cold on Christmas afternoon. Getty Images I suppose it's one way to burn off all the drinks. 16. Spending the morning after Christmas queuing up outside shops like Next. Niklas Halle'n / Getty Images Every Brit knows you don't want to mess with mums on the high street on Boxing Day. 17. And finally, simply calling the day after Christmas Boxing Day... Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF 20th Century Fox Is it named after the sport? Cardboard boxes? What's the story there?