1.
Now I know how that John Lewis guy feels #dominiccummings
2.
Me hearing that I can’t see my friends or family but CAN go for a £1 thong haul at primark from 15th June
3.
4.
Wearing makeup so infrequently now that when I do I’m freaked out and enchanted by my reflection. Who is she, what film is she in
5.
Remembering the time we were asked in a small group “what made you think someone was posh growing up” and I said if they had a landline, and another journo said “having more than two horses on your land.”
6.
meditating during lockdown (@Headspace)
7.
Would you like to start with scales or your pieces?
8.
In a massive vindication of my diet my trousers fell down outside the Co-op.
9.
Can’t see my cat approving of this substitution.
10.
I have decided what the British Last Dance equivalent should be and it is a documentary about Hypno-Disc failing to win Season 3 of Robot Wars.
11.
What’s his constituency? The fucking sun? https://t.co/iq8yIpM8Br
12.
Your girl after reviewing the pics you took of her
13.
Don’t worry about them deleting the tweet. I’ve framed it.
14.
Get in loser, I'm going blind
15.
Dominic Cummings dresses like a combination of every character from the 1st season of Skins x
16.
Plans: 2020:
17.
Don't worry everyone I've just spoken to the Coronavirus and it's not planning another holiday to the UK till 8th of June anyway.
18.
The Brits on Monday
19.
When you’re allowed to meet up with 6 people but there’s 10 of you in the group chat
20.
Miss Trunchball when she heard Matilda downstairs
21.
Gettin called nasty cause I said I’d volley mike wazowski ? He’s not even real, little green nob ed
22.
me waiting in the tesco queue while the nice man sprays some disinfectant on my trolley
23.
"I once took my wife and child on an hour's drive to test my eyesight"
24.
today I measured my head for a cycling helmet and found out I have a ‘Large’ head, please respect my privacy at this difficult time
25.
I’m not getting involved I’m just here to have a good time, GC style