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    27 Tweets We Saw This Week That Prove That British Twitter Is Hilarious

    "A customer asked me if I watched Roald Dahl's Drag Race"

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    This strawberry bitch was so evil, the Myra Hindley of fruit snacks

    Twitter: @GinaGambarro


    imagine being so pissed you think the track and trace QR code in the pub is a karaoke request slip

    Twitter: @chiwithaC


    A customer asked me if I watched Roald Dahl's Drag Race

    Twitter: @jordanpenny


    When it’s the 21st June and Borris says at the last minute clubs can’t reopen …

    Twitter: @TracybBeaker


    Feel sorry for the guy who has to do the pollen count that shit is tiny as fuck

    Twitter: @LouDC_


    If I only get a starter I should be exempt from this equal split ting. Sorry not sorry 😌😅

    Twitter: @Hemah_k


    The BBC today announced that Curtis and AJ Pritchard have been cast as the Fourteenth Doctor and Companion, respectively. The pair will take over from Jodie Whittaker and Mandip Gill at the end of Series 13, which is expected to air on BBC One sometime this Autumn.

    Twitter: @floellaumbagabe


    Absolutely fuming at the sale in Aldi. That’s a huge discount, I spent £7000 on those last week.

    Twitter: @DannyDutch


    Twitter: @JesuisChancy


    Twitter: @vonstrenginho


    My nail babe is 25 and she was talking to me about some ,"I have other clients your age and" um ok sis I am only 5 years older than you relax I am still your playing age if I was an actress

    Twitter: @BeeBabs


    “yeah yeah she’ll be fine... can i get a cheesy chips and a can of rio please?”

    Twitter: @putasinghonit


    yeah i’d have thought so, he’s a cat

    Twitter: @gnarlydweeb


    Oh my god you’d bounce her off that table wouldn’t ya

    Twitter: @_xH444


    Happy 11 anniversary to this cultural shift

    Twitter: @musafirani


    saying ‘i have money tied up in investments’ to describe having asos returns i haven’t sent back yet

    Twitter: @lucyj_ford


    Kudos to the girls drinking outside The Globe on Park Road last night who moved their table under a bus stop shelter when it started raining....

    Twitter: @NeilAda06141364


    menus be like: 💀 FILTHY DIRT FRIES 💀 These fries are DISGUSTING. Chips SMOTHERED in MELTED BEEF, MOULDED CHEESE and BBQ JIZZ! DON’T blame us if you get TETANUS from these UNCLEAN FRIES - £12.49

    Twitter: @rhiannoneshaw


    Fascinated by Adrian Chiles’ insanely boring column

    Twitter: @iucounu


    Estate agents will literally be like "this flat boasts a kitchen"

    Twitter: @hkatewilliams


    the sun when people in the UK start complaining about it being too hot

    Twitter: @twcuddleston


    “Seats available in our brand new beer garden!” The beer garden -

    Twitter: @Shuttsapalooza


    Does anyone else have sun guilt. Like if I’m not sat in the sun on a sunny day I feel so guilty and uncomfortable all day until I cave and sit in the sun lol

    Twitter: @megjacks_


    Twitter: @samduff23_


    The average British house price in 1991 was £56,000 and in 2021 it's £268,000, a rate of inflation of almost 500%. A You've Been Framed clip in 1991 paid £250 and in 2021? £250. A rate of inflation of 0%. No wonder young people can't get on the property ladder. Disgusting.

    Twitter: @SoozUK


    Twitter: @SirJonRotten


    "hi guys, lotta rumours on the timeline tonight so i just wanna go live to share some truths"

    Twitter: @sophie_e_hill

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