1.
My cousin got fired from Royal Mail on his first day cause he saw a guy in the toilets and said “ahhhhh you’re hiding too” and it was the regional manager LOOOOOOOOOOOOL
2.
Buying Chinese that doesn’t bang has got to be top 2 Ls to take in life.
3.
Oscar Wilde died in 1900 but Boots opened in 1849 and now my brain is doing backflips at the concept of him popping into his local store
4.
The last time I believed my vote would lead to a better world.
5.
The funniest thing that happened this decade, by far, was Kony 2012
6.
There’s a sit com pilot to be written about this house
7.
Mary and Joseph when they found out there was no room at the inn
8.
“yeah mum i’m in the new statesman.! no, i don’t have a link to send you”
9.
as if my boyfriend just texted me “I can’t do this anymore” out of the blue and I go on to find out he’s talking about fucking manchetser united
10.
bröther may we have some vöte's
11.
Yesterday my two and a half year old goddaughter was asked by her mum who her best friend is and she said: “cheese with pasta” and every time I think about it I well up.
12.
no one: the golden globes: https://t.co/h6S2T9OFDp
13.
utterly obsessed with this american site that has confused mince with mincemeat, and created this abomination
14.
If you were a Spice Girl, what Spice Girl would you be?
15.
at first glance i thought this was the wee guy’s opinion column https://t.co/7kbxvk1i6b
16.
I’m obSESSED with this weapon. Not sure a single lyric was right, a lyrical king
17.
Imagine falling in love with someone and you’re having your first Christmas Day together an after your Christmas dinner they turn on the telly and say ‘time for the Queens Speech’
18.
shoutout to joan