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    21 Of The Funniest British Tweets From April

    "s(H)e believed(from steps)."

    1.

    don’t usually tweet right, but I’ve just come home to my mum crying her eyes out asking if i do crystal meth because she found prawn cracker crumbs in a bag on my bedside table

    2.

    Been here for six hours now waiting for someone to take over

    3.

    So..., my dad had a top of a pic of me when I was younger (mum got it him as joke don’t ask) n I wore it to chill so she washed it at night, came back the nxt day n screamed

    4.

    Take That looking like parents on a Skype conversation.

    5.

    why did I start reading this to the tune of “put your records on” by corinne bailey rae 💀 https://t.co/Gga6i92kNI

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    Nobody: JK Rowling: https://t.co/ISXNH6IaC8

    8.

    Who’s paying £12 to look like they’re about to fire up a Bunsen burner

    9.

    8 year old me when my mum made me ring people to thank them for my birthday presents

    10.

    jesus returning on easter sunday: https://t.co/Mig2aAUNdL

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    Netflix: Control @BearGrylls in our interactive adventure #YOUvsWILD Me:

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    When you miss the suit fitting for a mate’s wedding and just guess your measurements

    15.

    Literally no-one: Miss Trunchbull: https://t.co/OKHd8xNyND

    16.

    Tenants: So I pay ££ and I get to live here? Landlord: you can exist in the space. Do not interact with or interrupt the space. There must be no signs of ‘living’. The house is your god now and you must serve it. I am also your god now. Please, have some mould. I was never here.

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    in my opinion the biggest selling point of marriage is that you will always have someone to get pissed in the garden with. in sickness and in health- cans oot the back

    19.

    Ive been in my house for about two hours, I just looked up and there’s TWO PIGEONS in my sitting room watching me eat my tea. What the fuck do I do?

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    @tristandross / Via Twitter: @tristandross

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