1.
all I see is hummus https://t.co/0zJnA4oqS2
2.
when a woman tweets an opinion https://t.co/bHaEM0yGm1
3.
please i am so lonely
4.
My aunty keeps accidentally linking gay p*rn to me on instagram!
5.
Me when I’m offered a free sample in Hotel Chocolat despite that being the entire purpose of my visit
6.
The year is 2192. The British Prime Minister visits Brussels to ask for an extension of the Brexit deadline. No one remembers where this tradition originated, but every year it attracts many tourists from all over the world.
7.
8.
Have we considered that it's possible that Munch was just trying to paint a spaniel, but he was a bit shit, and then people got excited about it so he went along with it?
9.
I don’t know any children and have no idea how to speak to them and I was at a funeral the other day and this happened: [in the toilets] child: remember to wash your hands me: yes! do you know why? child: because it might be the last time you ever get to wash them
10.
Two of my boys r beefing and dis is the reason
11.
Charlie's Angels (2019) https://t.co/xXs2z3aUIb
12.
This is not the worst thing about Reign, the Mary Queen of Scots biopic on Netflix, but one of the French peasants is wearing a pair of Everlast boxers
13.
Using oat milk to make my porridge feels a bit incesty.
14.
Shoutout to Maxine from Oak Furniture land who’s in love with the shape of me 😍
15.
Do you ever go on Facebook after a long time and realise it’s the Wild West over there- nothing makes any sense, someone you went to school with is heavily into a pyramid scheme, someone you worked with 7 years ago is having a pint in an airport with the caption ‘Be rude not to’
16.
The Paris 2024 Olympic logo would like to speak to the manager
17.
My secret’s finally out.