16 Seized, Stolen, Abandoned And Surplus Treasures You Can Get On PropertyRoom.com

*Law & Order: SVU Noise blares*

In the criminal justice system, property that is seized or otherwise acquired by a law enforcement agency can be auctioned for pennies on the dollar. Online, the dedicated sellers who collect and market these disparate items are members of an elite website known as the Property Room. These are their products.

1. An old Hartford city bus.

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Why go alone when you can bring 30 - 40 of your friends? Save on gas and arrive as a group with this surplus city bus. It's in running condition; all it needs is you in the driver's seat (and new tires and batteries). Beep beep!

2. A Mallard Duck Telephone, complete with faux-wood keypad.

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Quack quack, call me back!

3. A six pack of VonDutch socks, starting at $1.

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Are you often mistaken, perhaps, for Fred Durst? Or for Paris Hilton? No? Well, would you like to be?

4. A flute that is definitely, definitely cursed.

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The flute is marked as "Untested, due to lack of equipment". Which means that the person who is selling it doesn't have... a mouth with which to blow into it? Which makes sense, because you'd have to pay me to get close to that thing.

5. A matched set of grotesque head mugs: Pirate, Gentleman, and Drunkard.

Which mug fits your personality? Or maybe you're all three...

6. An electric eye massager, which handily plugs into any USB port you can find.

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Wherever and whenever your eyes happen to get tired, you can relieve the fatigue with this puppy! The description says it's suitable for "anyone who excessively uses their eyes such as IT workers, writers, accountants, students, etc". It's also currently the subject of a bidding war between someone in Arlington, Illinois and someone in Brooklyn, New York. Don't miss out!

7. A Mint-Condition Furby

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It's unclear how this Furby wound up seized by the police. Was it evidence? A murder weapon, perhaps? Or maybe... look at that caption on the box... "The more you PLAY with me, the MORE I do!" What fate could have befallen the previous owner?

8. Some... art...

Padhia Avocado / Via PropertyRoom

Don't even worry about learning how to use that "posterize" function in Photoshop. We know this is exactly what you were going to make with it anyways!! The starting price for this genuine, one-of-a-kind article is a mere $110. Don't miss out!

9. An LED light that straps conveniently to the brim of your favorite ball cap.

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They call it a fishing flashlight, but I reckon you could use it for just about any purpose. Just make sure you have a permit to do whatever you're doing in the dark, or the cops will have this flashlight back in their possession faster than you can say "Fits All Hats"!

10. 2 Olive Garden gift cards, total value $65 but currently selling for $51.

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These are hot hot hot!! Folks from Overland Park to Farmingdale are fighting for the chance to trade regular money for money you can only spend at one specific restaurant. And as a reminder of the real value here: the breadsticks are unlimited!!!

11. A body-cupping kit that'll help you clear your blood of toxins... if you already know how to use it.

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That's right, folks, the manual is NOT INCLUDED with this one. According to the descriptions, "cupping has been practiced in China for thousands of years for the treatment of illnesses and pain," so you should have had plenty of time to study up on exactly how to do it.

12. A 2017 Ford Explore that just needs a little TLC.

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Sure, it's missing a few parts, but for the price you can afford to put a little extra love into it! Please note that "The vehicle has not been inspected by a mechanic."

13. A gently-used cowboy hat and leather holster.

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If you can giddyup to the warehouse in Ontario, CA, this fine set of Western-inspired sportswear could be yours! But act fast, there's a bidding war on this one.

14. A "Mystery Beauty Box" full of treats for the holidays.

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This box is filled with beauty items that originate from "Store Closures, Insurance Claims, Misguided Cargo, Post Office Undeliverable Packages or Unclaimed Merchandise". They make no guarantees on expiration date or condition of the cosmetics inside. The seller says it best: "What's Inside? If we told you, where would the mystery be?" Can you afford not to find out?

15. A device for testing the quality of hydroponic soil.

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Guess it's pretty easy to figure out what kind of crime scene this was confiscated from.

16. A fun top for your next summer outing.

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Don't worry, it's new!! It was probably just near the scene of a crime.

If you see anything else that's totally normal and reasonable for a law enforcement agency to sell, feel free to leave it in the comments!