These Sex Toys Are On Sale For Cyber Weekend And I'm Buzzing With Excitement

Pick one up for you — and one for a friend.

I don't know about the rest of you, but there are two things I value in my life — a good sale and a sex toy that'll get me off without making my bits feel like they've been through a hacksaw.

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We all know the feeling, don't try to deny it.

Well, lucky for me and all of you, Cyber Weekend sales are here — and the discounts on some of the best pleasure makers available are almost enough to get me off.

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Almost. I'd much rather pick up a toy or two to finish the job. 

That being said, here are some of the best deals available.

1. The Womanizer Pro40, that'll give your clit the love and attention it deserves.

Lovehoney

This handy little toy uses pleasure air technology to stimulate your clit without actually touching it — offering gentle air vibrations to such and massage the pleasure point until you're left wondering if you've ever actually orgasmed before trying it. It features smart silence technology, is waterproof and even has an autopilot mode, so you can lie back and let it take control. 

RRP $169.95 / Buy it from Lovehoney for $135.96.

2. The We-Vibe Tango, which is ideal for stimulating specific areas with pinpoint accuracy.

We-Vibe

Bullet vibrators are an absolute staple in anyone's sex toy collection — and yes, I think everyone who can have a sex toy collection, should have a sex toy collection. This one has eight vibration intensities, it's waterproof and it's super quiet, so you can travel to orgasm city without alerting your housemates to your festivities. 

RRP $81 / Buy it from Amazon Australia for $60.

3. The Vush x Abbie Chatfield G-Spot vibrator, because if I'm going to trust anyone to know vibrators (besides me, of course) it's our queen, Abbie.

Wild Secrets

This gorgeous vibrator is shaped to stimulate the g-spot with ease, has 25 vibration combinations and it's super quiet. Plus, it's 100% waterproof, so bath time is about to become even more enticing. 

RRP $149.99 / Buy it from Wild Secrets for $89.99.

4. This super realistic looking dildo that features a suction cup on the bottom, so you can experience pleasure completely handsfree.

Lovehoney

This dildo is six inches, which is a non-intimidating size perfect for beginners. The head is defined and the shaft is fully bendable, so you can go to town with all your favourite angles, positions and movements to bring you optimum pleasure.

RRP $57.99 / Buy it from Wild Secrets for $39.99.

5. This wand vibrator that you can use solo for toe-curling pleasure or use with a partner to bring playtime up to a whole new level.

Lovehoney

This cordless vibrator is ultra powerful and practically guaranteed to get you off after a long, hard week (or day). It features seven vibrational speeds, so that you can adjust it just the way you like it before going to town. It has a flexible head — to reach any point you like. 

RRP $109.95 / Buy it from Lovehoney for $65.97.

6. This wand massager that features an actual handle, so that you can get yourself to orgasm without losing grip on your toy.

Amazon

This toy is portable, which makes it perfect for your next (interstate) trip. It's super quiet and discreet, no matter which of its 10 vibrational modes you're using.

Buy it from Amazon Australia for $15.

7. The Satisfyer Pro 2, a waterproof, touch-free toy that'll blow your mind.

Lovehoney

It stimulates with vibrating airwaves without actually touching your clitoris and some reviewers say it can also feel awesome on your nipples. As if that didn't sound good enough, it also has 11 different settings and comes with a magnetic USB cable for easy charging.

Check out BuzzFeed's full write-up on the Satisfyer!

RRP $99.99 / Buy it from Wild Secrets for $29.99.

8. And the Satisfier Pro rabbit vibrator, because the one thing this classic sex toy shape was missing was clit-sucking action.

Wild Secrets

This baby is waterproof and rechargeable for your convenience. The suction part features 11 levels of intensity while the dildo has 10 vibrational patterns, perfect for that sweet balance of internal and external pleasure.

RRP $99.99 / Buy it from Wild Secrets for $59.99.

9. This simple yet effective mini-massager, which has over 2,500 five-star ratings on Amazon.

Amazon

This waterproof vibrator has 20 different vibrational patterns and eight speeds, so you'll be able to ride your way to orgasm an absurd amount of ways depending on what you're into. The best part? Only the head vibrates, so you don't have to worry about ending up with a numb hand when you've finished.

Buy it from Amazon Australia for $39.95.

10. This wonderfully whimsical penguin-inspired air pulse toy who may be dressed fancy, but is ready for some nautical nonsense — and he doesn't mind if he gets squirted on in the process.

Lovehoney

It's USB-rechargeable and waterproof with 11 pulsating suction patters that'll drive you absolutely insane with pleasure. Who needs a Tinder date when you've got one of these bad boys, am I right?

RRP $98.99 / Buy it from Wild Secrets for $62.99.

11. This Filare microrobotic clitoral stimulator, which simulates the pleasures of oral, without the pressure of having to finish fast.

Lora DiCarlo

This handy little toy features three stimulation modes, 10 intensity settings and it's waterproof, so you can enjoy it in the tub or shower if you feel so inclined. It's the perfect toy, if you don't particularly vibe with phallic objects and it'll get you right where you need to be, at any pace you desire.

RRP $259.99 / Buy it from Wild Secrets for $200.99.

12. This Womanizer Duo, which is every bit as breathtaking and powerful as it looks.

Mariela Summerhays / BuzzFeed

This baby is the KING of all sex toys and honestly, I'd only recommend it for those who've already indulged in a sex toy (or 10) in the past. It not only features head-spinning clitoral suction, but will also provide you with a world-rocking vaginal massage. The vibrator portion features 12 intensity levels and trust me when I say when this arrives in the mail, you won't be leaving your room for hours on end.

RRP $329.95 / Buy it from Lovehoney for $263.96.

13. This handheld personal ~massager~ that's as cute as it is discreet.

Amazon

This vibrator features 10 vibrational patterns and 10 speed levels so you can really customise your orgasm. Plus, its compact size makes it super easy to travel with — making it the perfect companion on any overnight trip.

Buy it from Amazon Australia for $36.99.

14. This We-Vibe Moxie Clitoral Vibrator, which will leave you 50 shades of flushed in public.

Mariela Summerhays / BuzzFeed

For those of you have seen The Ugly Truth, you know what scenario I'm proposing. A slim magnet keeps this toy in place, inside your underwear and you can use the handy remote to control your toy and it's 10 levels of vibrations, without actually having to touch it. A single charge lasts two hours — so you can play all the way up to dessert.

RRP $149 / Buy it from Amazon Australia for $119.

15. And finally, this rabbit vibrator that'll pay all your precious parts the right amount of attention to give you your best orgasm yet.

Lovehoney

This baby has a whopping 36 possible vibrational modes — meaning you can try a new one every night of the week and never get bored. It's waterproof, super quiet and the matte black design is just about as chic as you can get.

RRP $139.95 / Buy it from Lovehoney for $97.96.

You after scoring a great deal and a fun new toy:

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